I am hurt

londonsurrey

Actually, if you haven't married your partner, I'd think twice about marrying him.

Never mind the brother, it seems as though your OH is part of that awful family dynamic where they just bail out the gambler, and it encourages him to keep on scrounging.

geoffky

guy has just got 7 years for stealing £3.7 million from his firm..

A GAMBLER defrauded £3.7m from his employer as his addiction spiralled out of control.
Andrew Rafferty, 44, of Armthorpe Drive, Little Sutton, lived in a modest semi-detached house despite redirecting hundreds of thousands of pounds annually for eight years.
On Friday his mother wept as he was jailed for seven years in Chester Crown Court by judge Elgan Edwards, the Recorder of Chester, who told him ‘gambling is the reason, it cannot be an excuse’.
Rafferty turned to gambling after a 15-year relationship fell apart before embarking on an eight-year spree undetected by employer Faurecia,

paddy's_mum

Sorry, but your 'so-called' OH (he didn't think that you were worthy of that degree of consideration, did he?) has just told you as loudly and clearly as one soul can tell another exactly where YOU fit in his list of priorities...in case you don't understand, your place is at the bottom, sh*&^y end of the heap!

To hand a known waster this HUGE amount of money, without a single word to you who must help to pay it back, makes your partner a disgraceful, deceitful LIAR!

Mad? I'd be having guts for garters ...

pinkladyof66

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Sorry, but your 'so-called' OH (he didn't think that you were worthy of that degree of consideration, did he?) has just told you as loudly and clearly as one soul can tell another exactly where YOU fit in his list of priorities...in case you don't understand, your place is at the bottom, sh*&^y end of the heap!

To hand a known waster this HUGE amount of money, without a single word to you who must help to pay it back, makes your partner a disgraceful, deceitful LIAR!

Mad? I'd be having guts for garters ...

I so totally agree with you here !

hngrymummy

I can sort of see why your OH did what he did. He thought he was coming to the rescue of his brother's wedding and helping him out of an almighty mess. He was probably promised the earth - this'll never happen again, I know I've done wrong, I'm going to get help this time etc etc. Who wouldn't have the urge to help a sibling or friend when their wedding day was at risk?

I hope he's learned a very painful lesson. If he has, then you and him need to have a long talk about things and where to go from here. If he hasn't learned his lesson, then he may never learn, and you need to have a good long think about it all.

I helped a friend financially (and emotionally) when her wedding was at risk. It wasn't as much at 7k, but still a fair chunk for me. I was promised faithfully that it would be repaid over time. A few months after the wedding she moved house, never gave me her new address and never got in contact again.

candygirl

He isn't being helped by his family, he is being enabled to carry on his addiction.Your partner is being totally unrealistic if he thinks he will ever get the money back, and I can totally understand why you are upset:(

rosered1963

I would be so furious that I wouldn't be able to look at him. If you and your partner are completely financially independent, then of-course that would be ok as it would be his business what he does, money-wise. But, if your finances are linked to your partners, he has effectively put you both in debt without asking you, hasn't he?

That is an awful lot of money, whch might be gambled away. I have heard this referred to as being financially unfaithful. My husband did something similar - he loaned his brother money without telling me and borrowed from the bank to do it. I warned him if he ever does that again, I am off and will never look back: we are the ones who have to find the money, pay the bills, and pick up the pieces Good luck and I think you have right to be furious.

whitewing

I would not go to the wedding.

I would be absolutely livid. It would potentially be end of relationship time.

Lotus-eater

12 grand in a month and your OH took out a loan for £7k to help him pay for his wedding....

Your OH must need his head testing, because sure as eggs is eggs, you won't see that money again.

What on earth was he thinking?

Is he a soft touch where his brother is concerned? Because he must be.

I'm thinking, how on earth I would dare come home after doing something like that.

Person_one

You're seeing first hand how addictions don't just ruin the life of the addicted person, they poison and destroy whole families.

I would consider directing your OH and the rest of his family here:
http://www.gamanon.org.uk/