Would a best friend act like this?

CATS

shellsuit/barbiedoll. I dont know what she was expecting would happen with regards to paying, I assumed she would offer to pay for herself, which I was more than ready to say no, this restaurant you pay first then go in, so she just walked in whilst me and hubby went to the paying line, I assume she always thought we would pay?? I dont know. The isssue is that she dissapears for long periods of time and then comes back and then dissapears and then comes back when she pleases. She calls hersef my best friend I would have said a long time friend that should no longer be there.

Barbiedoll, my wedding is such a long story, to say that she made herself my maid of honour offered to sort out my hen party, took money from all my other friends coming and then dissapeared until the day before my wedding is enough

thistledome

This is probably me, because I'm very cynical and somewhat suspicious of people. But it sounds a bit like she doesn't particularly care for you as a friend but likes you to pay for things and buy things. You seem to have more money than her and she is enjoying the money but not your company.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's the impression I get. As I said, it might be just me thinking that way.....

thorsoak

CATS wrote: »

shellsuit/barbiedoll. I dont know what she was expecting would happen with regards to paying, I assumed she would offer to pay for herself, which I was more than ready to say no, this restaurant you pay first then go in, so she just walked in whilst me and hubby went to the paying line, I assume she always thought we would pay?? I dont know. The isssue is that she dissapears for long periods of time and then comes back and then dissapears and then comes back when she pleases. She calls hersef my best friend I would have said a long time friend that should no longer be there.

Barbiedoll, my wedding is such a long story, to say that she made herself my maid of honour offered to sort out my hen party, took money from all my other friends coming and then dissapeared until the day before my wedding is enough

....and after all this you still call her a best friend???? Quite honestly, I do not know why you are bothering to waste worrying over someone like this. Just don't contact her! If she contacts you - just say - "busy just now - I'll get back to you sometime...." Don't waste breath on telling her/arguing with her - just ignore her!

With best friends like her - who needs enemies??

CATS

thorsoak, that is exactly what I am going to do, after all I haven't called her my best friend in a long time, not sure why she continues calling herself that either. I realised time is too short to bother with some people

shellsuit

CATS wrote: »

shellsuit/barbiedoll. I dont know what she was expecting would happen with regards to paying, I assumed she would offer to pay for herself, which I was more than ready to say no, this restaurant you pay first then go in, so she just walked in whilst me and hubby went to the paying line, I assume she always thought we would pay?? I dont know. The isssue is that she dissapears for long periods of time and then comes back and then dissapears and then comes back when she pleases. She calls hersef my best friend I would have said a long time friend that should no longer be there.

Barbiedoll, my wedding is such a long story, to say that she made herself my maid of honour offered to sort out my hen party, took money from all my other friends coming and then dissapeared until the day before my wedding is enough

You should have paid for yourselves and left her to sort her own payment out. That's what I would have done and if someone had just expected me to pay, I would have told them to bog right off!


I can't believe you were still friends with her after that wedding/hen night farce. Forget everything you posted about her in the OP, that would have been it for me.

barbiedoll

Sounds like you're her best friend when no-one else is available. She certainly doesn't fit my criteria of a "best friend". My best friend lives hundreds of miles away from me and there have been times when I haven't seen her for over a year. But she was the first person to know when my baby was born (my family were all at the birth!) and I was the first person to know about hers. We don't see each other often but if either of us have any personal dramas, we are immediately on the phone to each other. I can't rely on her to pick up my kid if I am ill, but I can rely on her to support me if I need her to. She (and her husband), would give me their last penny if I needed it. She's my (occasional) drinking buddy, my unpaid therapist, my sounding-board, she knows my deepest, darkest secrets and I can trust her 100%.

Thats what best friends do......would yours do the same?

CATS

Hi Barbiedoll, no she doesn't but my real best friends do, I have 2 of those great friends

meritaten

I would just quietly ease her out of your life. You obviously have different ideas of friendship and its causing you stress.


PS I have avoided the other thread because of the vitriol being thrown about - considering how nasty some people are I am surprised they have any friends, never mind treat them with unending patience and love as they are making out!

pimento

CATS wrote: »

I wont even tell you what she did for my wedding.

Oh, go on.

shellsuit

pimento wrote: »

Oh, go on.

my wedding is such a long story, to say that she made herself my maid of honour offered to sort out my hen party, took money from all my other friends coming and then dissapeared until the day before my wedding is enough

She'd posted it ^^^ up there somewhere