Would a best friend act like this?

marisco_2

I am surprised that your friendship has lasted as long as it has to be honest. You both seem to have completely different approaches and views on how you treat people.

You have already tried laying your cards on the table and explaining to her how she makes you feel. This apparently didn't get you very far.

I dont like arguments or confrontation so I would recommend just becoming less and less available. Dont return calls or texts for a while. It might make your friend think things through and realise that it just doesn't work between you any more.

clearing_out_my_pockets

CATS wrote: »

I left a message at first saying if she didnt call me I was going straight to the police as I didnt know if she was ok or not. Rude message saying "dont threaten me I am fine I will get in touch when am ready!! ok I accepted it as long as she was ok.

I'm sorry, but if someone sent me a message just after I'd had a baby saying that I would go to the police if they don't call, I sure as hell wouldn't be calling!

This may not have crossed your mind, but maybe she didn't come to your birthday bash as she'd seen you on your actual birthday...? One of my friends is a little strapped for cash so we arranged to meet up for lunch on my birthday (suggested by me) and I paid for us. She then didn't come to my BBQ a few days later - I'll let her off that one though as she was 38 weeks pregnant at the time :rotfl:

tea_lover

CATS wrote: »

I left a message at first saying if she didnt call me I was going straight to the police as I didnt know if she was ok or not.

:eek::eek:

CATS

clearing_out_my_pockets, would you still have been upset if that person called you a number of times first and left you messages saying please get in touch me, i just need to know you are ok? texted a hundred times saying just text me to let me know you are ok. "I havent hear from you in ages, are you ok? if I dont hear from you soon I might have to go to the police as I dont know if you are ok or not?? get in touch please" ummm am not sure I would have replied even if it was with an am ok.

With regards to the party, yes it did although on Thursday as I dropped her home she said ok great I will see you on Sat, I might be a bit late but will def be there, so I assumed she will be there. No money was needed even if she was broke, there was more than enough food and drink and she was well aware of this, I even told her not to get me anything.

Skintski

Have you considered she may have money problems? Charging you for a favour, not offering to buy you a drink etc could all be down to money worries. I think you are jumping to conclusions. She may just be too embarrassed to tell you. Some people don't like to turn up to a party without something to drink and it's entirely possible they didn't have the funds so thought they would not attend rather than feel awkward.

I'm not sure about the birth thing but perhaps that's for a different reason but I know if my best mate had just had a baby I wouldn't be waiting for 3 months to get in touch with her if only to congratulate her and her partner.

The other issue here is that we only have your side of the story, for all we know you could let her down all the time.

CATS

and actually I have just had the best confirmation that I needed. I just texted her and say I am still waiting to hear what happened to you on Sat - reply
"I am so sorry about sat I truly forgot about you cause my sister had a bbq on the same day, I lost track of time and before I knew it was 9pm. so sorry babes. I will make it up to you, lets get our nails done or something girly this weekend.

So sister bbq - me my 30th birthday.

My reply - Dont bother, hope you had fun.
well at least that answered my question!!!

Errata

CATS wrote: »

Errata I think you should have asked the question rather than assume. I rang her and rang her and rang her sister and rang her boyfriend and turned up at her mum's house, all said she was fine and they will get her to call me. I left a message at first saying if she didnt call me I was going straight to the police as I didnt know if she was ok or not. Rude message saying "dont threaten me I am fine I will get in touch when am ready!! ok I accepted it as long as she was ok.

Bizarre, and that action wouldn't have been the first thing that entered my head. In fact it wouldn't have entered my head at all given there was a boyfriend, mum and sister around who could have been contacted.

CATS

Skintski, she could have been broke but the restaurant was her idea and she was asking me to book. I didnt suggest it.

How can I congratulate her when I didnt even know when the baby was born? I dint go and see her because she moved in with her bf and never gave me the address, hence me turning up at her mum's house.

CATS

Errata I know what you mean, but there are other reasons for that reaction that I am not going to diclose here as its her business. And I did contact, sister, mum and tried bf you see

clearing_out_my_pockets

CATS wrote: »

clearing_out_my_pockets, would you still have been upset if that person called you a number of times first and left you messages saying please get in touch me, i just need to know you are ok? texted a hundred times saying just text me to let me know you are ok. "I havent hear from you in ages, are you ok? if I dont hear from you soon I might have to go to the police as I dont know if you are ok or not?? get in touch please" ummm am not sure I would have replied even if it was with an am ok.

That's contradictory to your previous post. You said above (in the post I quoted last time) that you left a message AT FIRST saying that if she didn't call, you would be contacting the police. And as she is a grown woman do you not think that contacting the police would have been an over-reaction anyway?

With regards the party, at least she's been honest with you. She could have lied...