Voluntary contribution towards school trips

amyloofoo

OP, I can see why you're feeling defensive and you may feel that it's inappropriate for people to go through your past posts in order to find ammunition for their criticisms. I think in a way you're suffering a result of being perceived as 'one of a growing number' who complain that they can't afford something for their child, whilst spending money on other seemingly frivolous things.

In many ways this is unfair. You are in control of your household's budget and control where the funds go, however I'm sure you can appreciate people's frustrations with those who have different priorities to themselves. Whatever your individual circumstances, I'm sure you'll understand why some individuals who're struggling to support their families may come across as resentful when they discover that someone else has taken trips to DLP, etc.

As other posters have pointed out, schools are required to ask for 'voluntary' contributions and can't say that your child will be prevented from going if you don't pay - however schools don't have infinite resources and can't afford to subsidise trips if more than a small percentage of parents don't actually pay up. I'm sure the school would be more than willing to accept delayed payment given your circumstances with Natwest (always presuming you're prepared and willing to pay), but they can't be blamed for not automatically presuming you're experiencing problems as this has happened before.

It's not acceptable for your child to feel humiliated about finances, and I think that the headteacher was wrong to even discuss this in front of her. However you both have a responsibility (school and yourself) to work together to ensure that your financial situation does not prevent problems for your child or hinder her education. I'm sure that if you explain the headteacher would be sympathetic to any trips which are essential for her education (rather than just a treat) and there is probably a little more that you can do in the future in order to budget for non-essential school trips.

becominganobsessivesaver

From the school's perspective they know you have just got back fro
m a holiday in term time, so to them you had funds to pay for that (and if this was dlp this certainly isn't cheap). I imagine your dd will have been talking about what a wonderful time she had. They may be thinking all these other children (who's parents may be struggling financially too) are having to essentially subsidise your holiday.
If your husband was sick could you not have cancelled this under insurance and at least then known there was some money due back so you could pay back mil etc.

If this had been the first time then may be they would have been a bit more sympathetic to your circumstances.

My DD will be attending a school with a high proportion of children on free school meals, and if I have to pay a little bit more so that those whose parents are generally struggling then I won't resent this, what will annoy me is if I had to continuously subsidise those who have the ability to put a little aside but choose not to.

FBaby

It is not nice to feel attack on a forum, so can understand the defensiveness. It's not even the issue at sake, it is the common attitude of 'nothing is my fault' and 'how dare the others try not to help'. In the end, if you are finding yourself in this situation, it is because of the choices YOU have made. You didnt want another child, but somehow it happened. You decided not to budget for school trips through the year, you decided not to suggest to the teacher that you could pay later but that's not your fault.

If you'd come on here saying that you felt really bad because once again, you didn't plan your budget well which led to putting your daughter in an embarassing situation, that you tried to apologise to the teacher and told her that you promised you would get the money to her by next week. If you told us that you'd just put things on ebay to sell so you could have the money by next week, I would have felt totally differently. Instead, you conclude your first post about complaining and how they cannot force you, turning the blame on the school rather than yourself.

emweaver wrote: »

I complained to the school about this last time but they ignored my complaint. If its voluntary surely they can not force you to pay?

rjh090384

I know this is not quite the same hun but my daughter comes home from nursery asking for a £5 contribution to fruit for the half term. At the peak of my struggle as a single parent student with no income ( go on judge me, I dare you) this was just not possible. Yes it's only a small amount but when u struggle you struggle.


My biggest bug was that she is only at nursery for what three hours. She has her breakfast before she goes and lunch syraight after. She doesn't need a snack. He would come with te letter give it to me and say mummy the school want to know why u haven't paid for this yet.


Add onto this the constant fundraising fir the poor girl in a wheelchair, fancy dress days ( most of her clothese are second hand and I. Can't afford fancy dress) , pirate day , princess day etc. the costs really mount up.

I'm pregnant now too and everything is bought as cheap as possible within reason. I bought baby vests from asda very cheap first wash and th design has cracked and faded badly and yea I do know how to use a washing machine.

Stop picking on people who ask for genuine advice not judgements.

thegirlintheattic

tiggerroo1301 wrote: »

I can appreciate that this must be a stressful time.
Is there anyone that could lend you the money until the NatWest fiasco is sorted?

NatWest would of, if the OP had gone in and they had found she had no money in her account for food. A colleague of mine had to do this Saturday. It was done as an advance of her OPs wages that should have gone into the account and didn't.

gingin_2

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

NatWest would of, if the OP had gone in and they had found she had no money in her account for food. A colleague of mine had to do this Saturday. It was done as an advance of her OPs wages that should have gone into the account and didn't.

Yes. I think it can be as simple as doing it by phone. I bank with Natwest and this is on their homepage

"I also want to be clear that where our customers are facing hardship or difficulty we can and will help them. Our staff have already helped thousands of customers to access cash and we will continue to provide this service on a 24 hour basis while we work to resolve the problems.

I also want to reassure customers that no one will be left permanently out of pocket as a result of this, and again, they should contact us directly about this."

It's not a loan if the money should have already been in your account.

emweaver

becominganobsessivesaver wrote: »

From the school's perspective they know you have just got back fro
m a holiday in term time, so to them you had funds to pay for that (and if this was dlp this certainly isn't cheap). I imagine your dd will have been talking about what a wonderful time she had. They may be thinking all these other children (who's parents may be struggling financially too) are having to essentially subsidise your holiday.
If your husband was sick could you not have cancelled this under insurance and at least then known there was some money due back so you could pay back mil etc.

If this had been the first time then may be they would have been a bit more sympathetic to your circumstances.

My DD will be attending a school with a high proportion of children on free school meals, and if I have to pay a little bit more so that those whose parents are generally struggling then I won't resent this, what will annoy me is if I had to continuously subsidise those who have the ability to put a little aside but choose not to.

Travel insurance will not cover you to cancel for being off work sick and had we been paid as normal (wages was due Friday) it would not be an issue to pay for the trip I keep stating this over but this point is always ignored.

emweaver

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

NatWest would of, if the OP had gone in and they had found she had no money in her account for food. A colleague of mine had to do this Saturday. It was done as an advance of her OPs wages that should have gone into the account and didn't.

No they wont as we do not bank with them, DH employer does.

becominganobsessivesaver

emweaver wrote: »

Travel insurance will not cover you to cancel for being off work sick and had we been paid as normal (wages was due Friday) it would not be an issue to pay for the trip I keep stating this over but this p is always ignored.

It's not that this point has been ignored, it is more that this is not the first time this has happened, which maybe explains the school's attitude. Had your husband explained this and offered to pay as soon as the wages went in then the school may have been a little more understanding.

Also if you husband was deemed not fit to travel by a doctor you may have found that travel insurance would have covered you. To be perfectly honest I had been ill just before I went to DLP and felt exhausted by the end of it. If I had been sick during the 'holiday' (still not convinced dlp is a holiday, more of an ordeal that's nice to reflect on afterwards!) I dread to think how I would have felt on my return.

emweaver

FBaby wrote: »

It is not nice to feel attack on a forum, so can understand the defensiveness. It's not even the issue at sake, it is the common attitude of 'nothing is my fault' and 'how dare the others try not to help'. In the end, if you are finding yourself in this situation, it is because of the choices YOU have made. You didnt want another child, but somehow it happened. You decided not to budget for school trips through the year, you decided not to suggest to the teacher that you could pay later but that's not your fault.

If you'd come on here saying that you felt really bad because once again, you didn't plan your budget well which led to putting your daughter in an embarassing situation, that you tried to apologise to the teacher and told her that you promised you would get the money to her by next week. If you told us that you'd just put things on ebay to sell so you could have the money by next week, I would have felt totally differently. Instead, you conclude your first post about complaining and how they cannot force you, turning the blame on the school rather than yourself.

Wow you really do need a reality check now I have checked through your posts as you do me! If you claim to struggle with 2 kids and a joint take home pay of £5000 a month + maintenance how do you expect me to survive on 1/5 of your take home pay and provide for an extra child!