Wherediditallgo’s ‘path to enlightenment’ bankruptcy diary

wherediditallgo

1 May - Spoke to the hospital a few minutes ago. They want me in today, so now it's a mad rush to get packed. The IPA form hasn't come, but the post hasn't been today yet - if the form comes before 1pm, I'll quickly sign it, copy it on the fax then run across the road to post it. If it doesn't, I'll have to ring the OR to say it'll have to wait until I get back home.

Just enough time to post a quick message letting everyone know I'll be away, then off to fight with my packing.

Kitleo

:hello: Just to say I hope all has gone well, you were missed - and welcome back.:grouphug: I am sure everyone who reads your diary will agree, we have missed you. I don't know how long you have to stay in hospital, but thought if I do this now it will be here for when you return :cheesy:

I have been following your diary - my OH declared BR in January - such a stressfull time so my heart has been with you all the way knowing what you have been going through.

wherediditallgo

Oh thanks. I'm hoping to only be here another week, but I know they won't discharge me 'til I can eat solids for every meal.As it took me an hour to sip my way through a tiny Actimel drink this morning, that seems a long way off. The internet here is so slow that I'm not on much out of sheer frustration, plus it's very taxing energy-wise to use a keyboard that's 7x2" at most, but I'll dip in when I can.

wherediditallgo

10 May - Got home from hospital this evening absolutely exhausted, & with my stitches itching like crazy. I've got to take so much medication - at least one of the tablets will be for the rest of my life, but at least I'm alive, so I'd better not complain too much. I'll have to get myself into a routine very quickly though, otherwise I'm bound to forget one of them.

Loads of e-mails (nearly 2000) & posted mail to wade through - the only letter I was interested in was the IPA one, which didn't come before I went into hospital on 1 May. Thankfully, it says the same as he told me on the phone (£50pm) - I've got 28 days in which to return the signed form, so I'll post it first class tomorrow morning. Most of the other stuff looks like junk mail, so I can't be bothered to open it until tomorrow - at least I know it won't be letters about debts.

Dealt with the e-mails - I'd say 80% were junk, but as least they're now gone. Made several phone calls to let people know I'd got back home, so it's just the hospital washing to do tomorrow, then I can get some much-needed rest.

Kitleo

A proper welcome home then - pleased to hear it all seems ok . You have done well to clear all your emails and sounds like you have 'hit the ground running' as they say... Take care

gettingitsorted

Nice to have you back WDIAG x

wherediditallgo

Thanks. I was determined to get rid of the e-mails last night even if I did nothing else, as they mount up so quickly! I'm glad to be back here with you all.

wherediditallgo

11 May - Got a bit of a shock yesterday at the hospital. They were concerned that my red blood cell count was a bit low, so they did a CT scan to see if there was any internal bleeding going on. The scan revealed there wasn't, but also revealed that there was a lump in my right breast. I couldn't see it or feel it, but it's there, so they've now made an urgent referral to a specialist breast team for it to be investigated asap. I was supposed to have radiotherapy after my recent surgery, but the discovery of this lump means that's got to be put off until the lump's defined, as there's a very small risk of radiotherapy causing cancer in weakened/suspect tissue.

I immediately burst into tears when the doctor told me, but 24 hours on I'm taking the attitude that I'm glad the scan picked it up. As I couldn't see or feel it, the lump could have sat there for many months, even years, & could then have become something far more serious. At least now we know about it, something can be done. Though I'm trying to feel positive about it, I can't help feeling it doesn't seem fair that I couldn't have had a scan that said "Nothing wrong - you're free to go" & didn't leave me possibly facing yet more surgery.

Remmer

Sweetie, did you know that 4 out of 5 cancers are cured completely. Keep your chin up babe you'll be fine.

wherediditallgo

15 May - Been in a fair bit of pain over the last couple of days, ever since the nurses started changing my dressings daily. Should start having some of the staples out in the next couple of days, so hopefully I'll start to feel more comfortable after that.

Can't stop worrying about this lump. I've had so much backache lately, & I don't know if it's related to the lump (they asked me if I'd been having backache at the hospital), due to sleeping badly, still getting over my op, not being able to sit or lie comfortably, not been able to walk at much more than a snail's pace or a combination of all of them plus worrying myself sick. I've got an appointment with the breast clinic on Thursday, so hopefully they'll be able to give me more positive info then - every time I open my eyes I seem to see ads about breast checks, & even when I tried to watch a film on tv this afternoon the subject of cancer came up. I've a history of depression, & I'm really trying not to let this lump overwhelm me, but it's so hard.

Meant to post my IPA form at the weekend, but have been in too much pain to go to the post box. I'll try to do it tomorrow.