Ex wife

duchy

Why not ask the "child" who is getting married. They are likely to be less biased then your husband (assuming you have a good relationship with them )

POPPYOSCAR

I find it quite incredible that you have never had any contact with her in 20 years when there are children involved.

Bambam

Sorry 711, I assumed it was a 'daughter' getting married, (probably because my own is getting married)

*Louise*

I don't see why you are so concerned about meeting up - if you haven't felt the need to in 20 years then there's not much point now.

Meeting on the day for the first time is better if she has any remaining animosity - she is less likely to do anything at her child's wedding.

The fact that you have been invited to sit at the top table suggests to me that she has her own partner who will be there as well and she will be far too busy on the day to bother very much about you.

January20

marywooyeah wrote: »

If I were you I just wouldn't go - it doesnt matter how long ago it was all the family are going to know about it and do you want to spend the day with pointing and whispering - think how the bride and groom would feel to have their wedding possibly overshadowed by any issues relating to you and the ex wife. It's only one day and your partner's son or daughter (sorry can't remember which) will understand.

Not going could make matters worse. It could even sour the relationship with the child who is getting married. I think going and being exceptionally nice, polite, etc is the only way to go in this situation.

loracan1

You go, you sit as far away as possible, make yourself scarce when necessary, if she speaks you are polite and focus on making the day pass as pleasantly as possible for the marrying couple.

Don't understand the need for an AE though?

amyloofoo

January20 wrote: »

Not going could make matters worse. It could even sour the relationship with the child who is getting married. I think going and being exceptionally nice, polite, etc is the only way to go in this situation.

Completely agree with the above. It's the 'child's' day and if they've said they want you all there and sitting together then that's what should happen.

When my little sis got married a couple of years ago, she wanted her biological mother to be there as well as mum - biological is an alcoholic troublecauser who's been arrested for assaulting me (when I was all of 10) and my mother (who's 4"10 and disabled) so she's a nasty piece of work. What little sis wanted is exactly what we made sure she got, even if we had to get an uncle (who happens to be very large and works as a bouncer) to inform her beforehand that she would be ejected should anything happen to upset little sis :rotfl:

I guess what I'm trying to say is that these things can still work even when there's a history of bad blood between the parties involved. Everyone just needs to concentrate on the happy couple and not their own 'dramas'.

Hope it all goes well and you have a lovely time

lemontart

I would prefer to meet the ex before hand too,

barbarawright

711 wrote: »

I post on here regularly but am using a different username for reasons that will be clear.

711

Am I missing something here? Why the AE?

daisiegg

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I find it quite incredible that you have never had any contact with her in 20 years when there are children involved.

Why? I am marrying my OH next year and have never met his daughter's mum (they weren't married) and I expect the first time I do will be at the daughter's wedding or graduation, if either of those things ever happen. And this is without the whole cheating issue - they had been split up for 6 years before he even met me. Is it that strange?