Every day dilemma...!

HeadAboveWater

unixgirluk wrote: »

HAW if you want to go, then go. Sometimes you need to hear things from someone neutral.

Agreed Will see how I get on over the next few weeks, including the crimbo hols, and go from there.
My other point is that he likes his Thursday 'boys nights' with the lads. Gets him outta the house and away from all the females (:rotfl:). If going to see a counsellor is what I choose to do for me, then so be it :D

pencakes26 wrote: »

I've always been one for staying later (only 10/15 mins) because its gone down well with previous bosses, but here I get told off if I dont leave on time. There's a lot to be said for getting out at 5, you feel like you can actually do things with your evenings!

Oh so true! Just wish sometimes I could click my fingers at half 5 and BE home, instead of spending 25 mins walking to get there

I hope we get paid before Christmas, as our normal payday is 28th....but then again January will feel like a long month!

More than likely you will, but every company is different. Find out so you can budget!!
But it can make January sooooooo loooooooooooooong

Uniscots97

Every company I've worked for has always paid early for christmas. I used to put some money (even if it was £25) in an instant access savings account but something that paid interest. Meant I had that to fall back on in January. I used to look forward to february as it meant no council tax to pay! Sad I know!

HeadAboveWater

lol Very sad but very understandable!!!!

Uniscots97

Morning HAW (and everyone else), how are you?

HeadAboveWater

Morning Nearly noon actually! :eek: (figured I'd do a little bit of work this morning hence the delayed reply!! :rotfl:)

I'm doing well thank you! (apart from the fact that my eyes feel as if they are stuck together. Think it's the heating in here ) And you?

Declaring today as a NSD so I better stick to it!!

Bought a couple of things online yesterday from Superdrug (free p&p plus TopCashBack ££) so almost done with the crimbo shopping Was a bit stuck on OH DD1 and was wondering about a hairdressing magazine/subscription/manual or something. Came across hairdressing DVDs which might be a good alternative.
Still my dads pressie to sort too...

Read a bit more of How To Be Happy. Seems to be a good book so far. Dunno if it'll top the last one though!! lol

Uniscots97

What was the last one?

HeadAboveWater

EDIT:

Just found this!

HeadAboveWater

:eek:

Dyed my hair for the first time last night!! My natural colour would be 'warm copper gold' (right hand bottle - used this for the greys a few times and perfect match!)


Now its dark red!! :eek:

Does actually look like the colour on the box too!!!
Rather shocking change for me having had the same hair colour for 31+1/2 years, but I like it

Sooooo can't remember what I have or haven't said on my diary yet about houses. Long story short, OH owns the house we live in. Small mortgage left. Me and OH agreed a few months ago that we'd save for a couple years and buy a home together, then he could rent out his house. Happy days
He's since decided that he can't wait that long and wants to move now! Neither of us have enough for a deposit (he could just about manage a small one), so his other idea is to rent!!
Hello?! Why rent when you've a perfectly good house sitting there that you own?!?

Anyway, he knows my views but kinda getting the impression that he's gonna decide this one all by himself and I'll just have to tag along

And another rant...!

OH has mentioned a few times about him and his mates going on a biking tour round Europe sometime. It was something they've talked about for years but never actually managed to do.
I was putting his lunch in his backpack this morning and there's a brochure for France sitting there. Questioned it and asked if he was planning a wee holiday for us (knowing full well what the answer was going to be!), and yes he said about the biking holiday.
Ok. I've only been with OH for 18 months but we both knew right from the start this was 'the one' and we're in it for the long haul. I'm also living with him and his 3 daughters, so it's not like it's a semi serious relationship.
Me and OH have been away a handful of times since we started going out, and we've stayed over night in Donegal, Belfast, Enniskillen and Glasgow. That's about it. When he said about the biking holiday this morning I must've looked as though I was going to freak out (almost but hid it well!! ;) I just said 'one thing'.... 'me and you have never been away for a foreign holiday at all'.

Honestly?? If he feels he needs to go on this biking hol then so be it. But I will be absolutely gutted if he goes away round Europe with his mates before me and him even get left this country!!

We discussed a while back about girlie/lads holidays. He thought that for the fact my friend was married, she should no longer be doing the whole 'girlie holiday' thing. My opinion is that if you're in a serious relationship it's the same thing. There doesn't have to be a ring on the finger so to speak.
My 'problem' there is the fact that there a very minimal chance he'll ever want to get married again. So does that mean he has a free reign to go on lads holidays any time he wants just because he's not married?!

Part of me does think I need to catch myself on, wind my neck in, and chill out.

The other part of me is thinking 'I know for a fact he loves me, but sometimes he just doesn't give a !!!!!! about me or how I feel'.

It's so frustrating!!!!!!

Sorry for rambling!!! Always feel better after I rant for a while. And usually then I can think a bit more rationally and know I'm usually overreacting.

EDIT:
By girlie/lads holiday I mean a week or more. Anything for a night or 2 is fine.

Uniscots97

HAW, I wouldn't be happy with that. How old are his daughters? If you read my first diary you'll see a lot of similarities between me and you. OH had 2 teenage children when we met. But long story short they all came to live with me as OH had a council flat and I had a bought house. Yes OH would like us to buy a house together but he knows its not realistic at the moment for various reasons and I've told him if we buy a house together my house isn't getting sold, it would be rented out. I bought it new and for a pretty reasonable price compared to what prices are now. Its my nest egg and the way prices are at the moment I would be nuts to sell.

Does your OH have reason for wanting to move? SS is nearly 22 and OH (and I) would love him to move out and stand on his own 2 feet. But SS knows he's got it cushy. OH had hoped I would have gotten a job abroad and then my house would have been rented out, SS would have had to have moved and we would have been abroad. Might seem sneaky but I remember SS trying to blackmail us when OH mentioned if I got a job abroad we'd be gone, SS said he'd stay in the house and we couldn't force him out. I watched his face change colour as I said he could only stay if he paid every single bill. He changed his mind! I don't know how old your OH's daughters are but if they are 18+, your OH maybe feels that they need to start standing on their own 2 feet or at least planning for leaving the nest/going to college or uni/generally growing up. I do agree with you thought that renting if you have a perfectly good house is nuts. The only way it would be sensible is if its a big house and costs a lot to run (or to pay the mortgage) and by renting it out and you renting say a 1 bedroom you would be saving a lot of money.


The hair colour is lovely! I was blonde then went dark, OH hates it but I got fed up putting peroxide through my hair. I would like lighter hair but I need to speak nicely to the girl that comes to do my hair as I want to do it without peroxide.


The 'lads' holiday in my mind is a bad idea. It might be something he's always wanted to do but 2 weeks away is a bit much. Could he not compromise on say 3-4 days away doing this? Also why has he suddenly gone got brochures etc without talking to you?

pencakes26

Im a bit younger than you both and have no kids/step kids to think about, so maybe thats why I feel differently about girlie/lads holidays...but then again maybe not... Who knows

I think its important to be able to do your own thing sometimes, married or not..serious relationships can be tough on us all and a break can be good. My ex-OH went skiing for two weeks in Colorado with the boys and I didnt question it at all (in front of him anyway). He loved skiing and I didnt want to be the one that stopped him doing something that was probably a once in a lifetime trip, partly because I knew how much he wanted to go and because I didnt want him to ever resent me for it.
I do understand though that you want to go away with him properly first though, I'd feel the same. Compromise is definitely the way forward on this one which is easier said than done, but I am sure you will find a way to keep you both happy