Diary of a dishonest husband...

Choc-addict

P.S - if she was struggling too with money worries i'm sure she'll be even more understanding of the pressures.

Like bravehearted said, no need to lavish weddings but that is done now and too late to think about that. Keep positive and you'll be fine.

reallyAnnoyed_2

taren wrote: »

*snip*

If you dont have a join account, maybe you should open one and tell her this is so she can see what is going on with both your monies.
*snip*

Bad idea - Linking financially when one partner is deep in debt, would ruin "clean" partner's history too.


@James: As other members said, discuss it with her 1st. You mentioned that she was paying into your account, thinking it was going into wedding fund? From that I have this impression that, that money is also gone?

Anyway, what is done is DONE. It's NOT too late and the fact that you do realise/own-up your mistake and taking steps to correct it - is an achievement in itself.

Couples do go into financial difficulties. Together you two have good incoming and I don't see why this can not be paid off without going into default.

I would suggest you post your SOA, so experienced members here could make suggestions on areas you can make some cuts (if possible).

DS4215

Sit down and produce an SOA with both your incomes and all your bills and use that to work out how much you can repay to your debts. If you tell her that you have both a problem *and* the solution to it then it should go down easier.

You might need to reduce your nights out and other spending for a while, but once you are on a solid footing you can use the repayment money to save up for holidays and eventually a family.

HeadAboveWater

Well done on posting - that's the first big step

You should tell your wife as soon as possible. Honesty is the best policy. It may not go down too well, but you can't hide it from her any longer.

It's good that you have your parents support behind you too

One day at a time. Don't look at the £8k and panic! :eek: Put up your SOA and we'll help to break it down, and suggest small changes that will make a big difference.

Good luck

RunbeforeIcanwalk

Having been in the situation as the DW I imagine she has some inkling anyway. My Hubby would come home not talk much and be very distant. When I finally got it out of him what he had done, it was a relief it was money and not another woman or something worse. We did have to turn to family at that time as he had caused a right mess.

Sit her down come clean. You will get it sorted together X

JamesBa

I will and thank you for posting.
I will update you all with the conclusion and will almost certainly be posting when I have told her, I guess to make me feel a little better about it maybe.
Thanks for your support guys.

Ps, I will post an SOA after work this evening.

taren

reallyAnnoyed wrote: »

Bad idea - Linking financially when one partner is deep in debt, would ruin "clean" partner's history too.
.

Or maybe just give his wife access to his bank account, so she could see what's going on, or transfer all the bill payments etc etc to his wife's account. reason why I said do something like this is to give his wife transparency on what is going on with their money.

heartbreak_star

Good luck James!

HBS x

JamesBa

I see both points. I won't be adding her name to my account but I will definately be giving her full access of my main bank account that's for sure!

JamesBa

But if she suggests moving to a joint account, then of course I will.