Do you think this is acceptable behaviour from family???????

sassyblue

No your not over-reacting your sister sounds a spoilt little madam, you are right to keep her away from your son until her parents start disciplining her more.

They don't like the fact that you have highlighted their lazy parenting, so ignore.

xx

skipsmum

As a long-time foster carer, I have found that children will show each other their private parts without any sexual connotation.
HOWEVER, I find the "smelling" issue disturbing. I think you need some help with this one.

Abbafan1972

kingfisherblue wrote: »

This is a very worrying situation and I can only echo the comments of others about supervision.

I would also contact the NSPCC for advice, particularly regarding the sexual incident. If you ring Childline, they are likely to refer you to the NSPCC, as Childline is specifically for children to call. In addition, the NSPCC has a section specifically for abuse situations and can give advice to you as an adult - Childline counsellors are trained to give advice to children. As an adult, any advice you need is going to be slightly different than if you were a child.

The helpline number for the NSPCC is 0808 800 5000. This link gives other ways of contacting them:

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/the-nspcc-helpline/using-the-nspcc-helpline-hub_wdh72253.html

It isn't going to be an easy call to make, but I do believe that it is necessary. Your sister's behaviour is dangerous and you cannot put your own children in danger. Your first responsibility is as a mother, but you also have a responsibility as a sister and as a decent adult - which is why this is too big an issue for you to deal with alone, and why you should contact the NSPCC for further advice.

You might want to have a few notes with you, so that you can give the information in a clear order and so that you do not forget anything. You may also want to have a glass of water and some tissues handy. Try to ring at a time when your son is not around (maybe when he is at school or nursery).

If your sister's behavious is allowed to continue unchecked (and seemingly supported by your parents), it will only worsen and become more dangerous. You really don't want to hear of an incident in the future and think that you could have prevented it if only you had done something earlier. even though your sister will no longer have unsupervised access to your son, she may be able to hurt other children. Also, it is unfair on your sister for any abuse to continue (I'm assuming that some abuse has occurred, simply from the sexualized incident that you mention - this is definitely not normal behaviour). Abuse tends to accelerate, and you might be preventing further abuse from occurring if you report your concerns now.

It isn't going to be an easy time for you and your family - the fall out will be massive. You are going to need support from your husband and possibly from friends as well.

Take care x

I agree with Kingfisher here, you have to do something.

Can I ask how old your sister is? (Sorry, I couldn't see it mentioned anywhere).

purple.sarah

I am sorry to hear you are having to deal with this difficult situation. Your sister obviously has issues. TBH with her aggressive behaviour and acting out sexually I would consider reporting this to social services anonymously in case she has been abused. I would certainly contact the NSPCC for advice as kingfisherblue suggested. There are warning signs and your parents are obviously not taking it seriously. In the meantime don't let her near your son unless supervised by yourself. I think your sister needs help for her sake and your son's. This behaviour could be a cry for help, please listen.

purple.sarah

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

I agree with Kingfisher here, you have to do something.

Can I ask how old your sister is? (Sorry, I couldn't see it mentioned anywhere).

Missus_Aka wrote: »

9 years old.

.................................

quintwins

I would also get in touch with social services, from experience children abused by parents either get away with everything or are very strict, your fil sounds controling given that he has alienated your mother aswell, showing bits wouldn't worry me all that much if it was a single incident from an otherwise happy well behaved (within reason) child but given all the other issues i would be very concerned.

You may find that phoning social services will burn your bridges as it won't take yoru mother long to figure out who phoned them, however that little girls best intrests most come first and it may be better to risk that situation that spend years worrying whats happeining to her when you send her home, or the guilt in years when something does come out.

pulliptears

I'm going to echo what others have said about involving social services for a couple of reasons. Firstly, its not beyond the realms of possibility that the child herself is being abused and her behaviour is a symptom of that, its also possible that she could also be doing the same things to other children. Whilst both possibilities are remote I think you have to address the fact that this child clearly has issues which to me go way beyond jealousy.

paddy's_mum

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Your sister's behaviour is dangerous and you cannot put your own children in danger. Your first responsibility is as a mother, but you also have a responsibility as a sister and as a decent adult - which is why this is too big an issue for you to deal with alone, and why you should contact [the professionals] for further advice.

If your sister's behaviour is allowed to continue unchecked (and seemingly supported by your parents), it will only worsen and become more dangerous.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.

Your children have an absolute right to be protected and if your mother and stepfather can't, won't or don't see any problem, then you must act unilaterally and get these toxic people out of your children's lives!

Who else can a small boy and (soon to be) tiny baby rely on if not you? If you stand by and do either nothing or not enough, then you become a willing contributor to any coming episode of atrocious behaviour or injury/danger to your children.

You owe the parents and your half-sister nothing. You owe all that is within you to your children. You won't let them down, will you? What does your partner think about it all?

Good luck in dealing with what must be an incredibly difficult and upsetting situation.

Nan63

Your half-sister is clearly very troubled and perhaps crying out for help, the posters above have given very sound advice about getting professionals involved. The 'smelly' incident is not normal behaviour and quite frankly alarms bells are ringing that scream sexual abuse.

The road ahead for your family is not going to be a smooth one. Do what you can to help but not at the expense of your health, your son's health or unborn baby. I wish you well, take care of yourself x

Stephb1986_2

Your half sister sounds like she has some real problems that need addressing. If I was you I would keep your little boy away from her as far as you can. I agree with the other posters about contacting SS

Good luck

Steph xx