son in tears this morning

Cat501

pink68 wrote: »

I think with mine once they realised I wouldnt rise to it anymore they gave up themselves. Sometimes their hormones set them up for confrontation without them knowing it.

The other night my son came out of the shower asking for a plaster as he 'had cut my thumb on the razor my sister left out on the shower'. I was already to blame his sister for being careless but she is away. then i noticed some hair on his cheek and realised he'd picked up the razor himself and been waving the razor around his non existent side burns.

I burst into laughter, he burst into tears with embarrassment.

He thought'd i have a go but i was just disappointed he had lied. Could have all got nasty very easily but really wasnt worth it!

Aww bless him!!! Why are you disappointed he lied - because it was a lie, or because he was embarrassed to tell you what he'd been doing? It was thoughtless to blame his sister, but I'm sure that's all it was - thoughtlessness

BJV

Awww think he is growing up!

suejb2

My O.H says "everything is a phase" and to a point he is right (just don't tell him!) both you and you son will work it out and come through the other side ready for the next "phase". Most mums and dads have been there,you're not a bad mum you're you.

pink68

Cat501 wrote: »

Aww bless him!!! Why are you disappointed he lied - because it was a lie, or because he was embarrassed to tell you what he'd been doing? It was thoughtless to blame his sister, but I'm sure that's all it was - thoughtlessness

The only reason i was disappointed is that if his sister had been home i'd have told her off for leaving it laying around. And he didnt need to lie. I'm not an ogre!

We've had a chat now with dad as well about only using your own razor for hygiene reasons and if he wants to know how to shave his dad will show him (not that he has any whiskers yet!).

I told him I'd had the same with his sister cutting strips in her legs the first time she decided to shave them cos she'd used one of my old razors. That cheered him up!

Cat501

pink68 wrote: »

I told him I'd had the same with his sister cutting strips in her legs the first time she decided to shave them cos she'd used one of my old razors. That cheered him up!

:rotfl: typical siblings!!:D

I don't know about anyone else, but as a single mum who hasn't had a man in the picture for a looooooong time, I have to constantly remind myself about "boy" things, like if he wants to wash his bed sheets himself , even if they've just been done - let him!!!:D

Spendless

I'm doing a parenting course called the Solihull Approach (very long story why I'm on it but briefly it's support for us to do with my son's well-being following issues he's had at school) and shouting came up today and what was said that if you shout because you are at the end of your tether and it becomes 'white noise' to the child then on occassions when you might need to shout STOP eg you can see your child is about to step into the road and hasn't seen an oncoming car, it is more likely to be ignored.

The other week the 2 tutors did role play with one not listening to anything 'Mum' said. What they showed was if 'Mum' physically touched the 'child', just laid a hand on their arm, or arm on back that sort of thing the child was unlikely to not hear.

I don't know if you work OP, but if you don't or if you work p-time you could look to see if they have any parenting courses that run. I got on mine via my local children's centre, though I do the course at a different one. Don't think it's full of people who are danger of having asbo kids, it's not, far from it. Mine has people on it who are pregnant or have new-borns right upto older teenagers and a couple are also grandparents. It jsut gives different ideas, some of which you may not have tried or heard of before and opens you up to the child's way of thinking. Today we all got sent off to play games, cards, dominoes, board games, drawing and then after a little while the tutors shouted 'right back to the table' and we had to leave what we were doing. It was to show us what it's like when we tell a child to stop playing with something and come and do xyz without giving prior warning.:D

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

fluffnutter wrote: »

Have you tried simply not cajoling him? It might get worse before it gets better, but I always think it's worth giving it a go. Just stop. Stop telling him to get up, stop telling him to eat his breakfast, stop telling him to brush his teeth. See what happens. He'll soon start sorting himself out if he gets into trouble for being late at school.

Sometimes these things just escalate. You nag, he ignores you, you nag even more, he ignores you even more, you end up shouting, he ends up in tears. Just break the cycle. It's about time he starting learning some responsibility for intrinsic reasons and not just because his mum's shouting at him.

And you're not a bad parent.

There's only one potential pitfall with that.


the ensuing letter from the school threatening the Educational Welfare Officer because 'you are failing to ensure the attendance of your child at school'.

:cool:

jellyhead

Spendless wrote: »

I'm doing a parenting course called the Solihull Approach (very long story why I'm on it but briefly it's support for us to do with my son's well-being following issues he's had at school) and shouting came up today and what was said that if you shout because you are at the end of your tether and it becomes 'white noise' to the child then on occassions when you might need to shout STOP eg you can see your child is about to step into the road and hasn't seen an oncoming car, it is more likely to be ignored.

The other week the 2 tutors did role play with one not listening to anything 'Mum' said. What they showed was if 'Mum' physically touched the 'child', just laid a hand on their arm, or arm on back that sort of thing the child was unlikely to not hear.

I don't know if you work OP, but if you don't or if you work p-time you could look to see if they have any parenting courses that run. I got on mine via my local children's centre, though I do the course at a different one. Don't think it's full of people who are danger of having asbo kids, it's not, far from it. Mine has people on it who are pregnant or have new-borns right upto older teenagers and a couple are also grandparents. It jsut gives different ideas, some of which you may not have tried or heard of before and opens you up to the child's way of thinking. Today we all got sent off to play games, cards, dominoes, board games, drawing and then after a little while the tutors shouted 'right back to the table' and we had to leave what we were doing. It was to show us what it's like when we tell a child to stop playing with something and come and do xyz without giving prior warning.:D

That sounds interesting Spendless I'm being CRB checked to volunteer at the surestart centre again, so I'll have a look for that course. I did a Webster-Stratton course there which was very good, but aimed more at young children whereas it was the eldest I had problems with.

He's okay now, and has had a lightbulb moment. He's realised that he needs certain grades to get into 6th form, and that he does actually WANT to get in, so he's revising and working harder. It's a shame that it didn't happen sooner, but year 11 is better than not at all :rotfl:

tyllwyd

pink68 wrote: »

The only reason i was disappointed is that if his sister had been home i'd have told her off for leaving it laying around. And he didnt need to lie. I'm not an ogre! ...

That reminds me when I was a teenager - I picked up one of my dad's razors and thought I wonder how sharp that is and absentmindedly ran my thumb along it. Next thing I knew I had a nasty cut right across my thumb and I was too embarassed to tell anyone how I'd done it. It took ages to heal as well, because it was a clean cut and kept opening up when I used my thumb.

onlyroz

My son tries the stampy foot and the "why do you hate me?". I just laugh at him.