20 week baby scan

bylromarha

Ring and check - our hospital outright refuses to allow kids in the scan room.

I moved heaven and earth to find a babysitter for the 2 scan appointments. Would have hated OH missing out on seeing his growing baby as he'd had to babysit DS.

Janepig

lalaland11 wrote: »

I took him into my 16week scan and he loved it, he has said he feel sad as mummy and daddy have seen the baby but he has not.

My DS says he feels sad when he has to go to bed before his sister because she's older than him. He feels sad when we go to a theme park he and can't go on a ride that she can because he's too small. That's life. All children feel sad sometimes about things they can't do - doesn't mean we should bend over backwards to accommodate them so that they never ever feel sad.

In another 20 weeks the baby will be here and he'll meet him/her. It's not an enormous amount of time to wait.

Jx

Janepig

lalaland11 wrote: »

Either way he has to come with us as I have no one who can look after him.

So you're not taking him because he "feels sad" then, you're taking him because there's no-one at all who can look after him for an hour before school?

Jx

Nicki

Do you not have neighbours with kids at the same school, or a friendly mum of a child in his class, who would let you drop him round first thing, and give him breakfast and take him to school with their children? That is most mum's safety net. What will you do in 20 weeks time if you are in active labour when you need to do the school run if not?

If the scan is at 8, your child will be very late for school that day, which the school is unlikely to be pleased about.

mishkanorman

lalaland11 wrote: »

My OH tried that at the 12 week scan and was told off for it.


Either way he has to come with us as I have no one who can look after him. [/COLOR]

The hospital its at does not have and consultants or specialist there. If you need to see one they refer you to the main local hospital.[/COLOR]

I dont really see why you've started the thread then, if you are going to insist that he has to be there as he cant be anywhere else ???

I realise you cant pick and choose your day/time but even my hospital were able to offer a bit of choice over the time I was given so we could go when the kids were at school,

sorry but it sounds like you arent trying to find an alternative to taking him along and you were just looking for everyone to agree it would be lovely for him to be there.

scottishchick27

I took my DD to the private scan I had at 9 weeks, she waited outside till we knew everything was ok and then we allowed her to come in. I've got my 20 week scan on Friday but it will just be me and my OH just incase there's anything wrong.

Nicki

Because the anomoly scan takes a lot longer than your 12 week scan will have done. You'll be lucky to get in and out in less than three quarters of an hour, assuming you are seen quickly, so unless you can get back to the car, drive to school, park and gt him inside in 15 mins, he's going to be late. And that assumes that the baby is in a good position, if it isn't you may well be there a couple of hours as they will have you walking around, drinking fizzy drinks, etc to get it to move so they can see all they need to see.

msb5262

I don't really understand why some people seem to regard an anomoly scan as a sort of photo opportunity. It ISN'T, nor is it a "meet and greet the new baby". It isn't meant to be a chance for older children to feel involved in a pregnancy.
It's meant to allow NHS staff to take very detailed and precise measurements of a developing baby's bones and vital organs.
It is a chance for any anomoly (= potential problem) to be noticed and identified.
If older children are expressing feeling "left out" because they aren't at each scan or medical appointment, I would suggest that parents should try to meet the children's emotional needs in a way which doesn't compromise the nature of the anomoly scan...e.g. by showing the children any pictures or video they can, by talking about the baby and about the children when they themselves were babies, by reassuring them that the baby's arrival isn't going to undermine the love of their parents for the older children and by generally making sure they feel emotionally secure.
For all these reasons and the excellent ones given in previous posts (e.g. potential boredom for older children, risk of a problem being identified, distress for parents if a problem is identified and they have to focus on the children rather than their own feelings, possible distraction/interruption of the sonographer if children are noisy, and of course upsetting other parents who might be present in the waiting room), I really wouldn't take an older sibling to a 20-week scan. Children do need to allow their parents some couple-time and to me this would be a prime example...
This is my opinion and is not aimed at anyone personally.
Best wishes to the OP and I hope you manage to resolve the problem.
MsB

Nicki

I wholeheartedly agree msb5262, perhaps because we discovered at our anomaly scan 16 years ago that we had had a MMC, and I also know of several people whose scans have revealed serious health problems such as heart defects, brain problems, etc. As a result, I flinch when I hear people refer to it as the gender scan, because finding out the gender of the baby, if that's what you want to do (we didn't) is the least important bit of the whole process by a longshot.

Wilma33

It is a medical examination, not a social occasion.