20 week baby scan

emweaver

penguingirl wrote: »

I'm intrigued by this- if they'd said she couldn't have come in, what would you have done? Surely she couldn't be left on her own.

As I said I was prepared to go in alone - so dh would of sat with her!

theoldcynic

If you cannot afford a private scan why not video that scan to show your children later?

A lot of mobile phones have a camera on them where you can take a video. Why not bring one along, or ask a friend if you can borrow one for the short time and video the screen you are watching. That way they can still see the scan in action as such, but you avoid the risk of them having to break bad news with them there or negotiate them not being there, disturbing other expectant and apprehensive parents in the waiting room, or having a bored/disruptive child during the scan.

Times in the waiting room can also be quite long due to others having anomalies picked up in their scans or foetus's not playing ball.

If it is bad news it is not unheard of for you to have to see consultants and specialists on the same day/time, or be referred elsewhere immediately. It would be more difficult to do this with a child in tow.

It is an anomaly scan, I wouldn't take a child to any other medical scan TBH.

emweaver

cottonhead wrote: »

I have a 6 year old and wouldnt take her with me. I know after 10 mins she would get bored and I would be unable to take care of her and it might disturb the sonographer. Also if there is a problem detected how would you cope / explain etc. I would find childcare and show him the photo afterwards. Also maybe get a listeing thingy ( forget the name ! ) so when your pregnancy is more advanced he can listen to the baby.

If there is a problem the child would still find out and you would still need to explain it to her.

penguingirl

emweaver wrote: »

As I said I was prepared to go in alone - so dh would of sat with her!

That makes sense! You hadn't mentioned him in your first point so I thought it was just you and DD going, so I thought it would have been difficult if they'd said no. No offence meant at all!

tiamai_d wrote: »

Surely it's better to risk it than rearrange a time sensitive appointment?

Not all of us have a million willing family members to provide childcare, or a partner who can just take time off work willy-nilly. Some folk don't actually like being seperated from their older children either.

Or are they just not supposed to have more children so they don't have to miss a scan?

I really think you've misinterpreted my point, I was genuinely curious as to what the emweaver would have done. I didn't mean to cause offence at all, but I do think you have been a bit over-sensitive.

But I also know as someone who works in the NHS that some parents do bring their very young children to appointments that it is not appropriate for them to be at and either expect that it is ok for them to come in, or that the receptionists will keep an eye on them. It puts professionals in a really difficult situation.

mishkanorman

emweaver wrote: »

If there is a problem the child would still find out and you would still need to explain it to her.

Yes but that would be in your own time, your own words and without a waiting area full of people to see your grief !

fluffnutter

tiamai_d wrote: »

Surely it's better to risk it than rearrange a time sensitive appointment?

Not all of us have a million willing family members to provide childcare, or a partner who can just take time off work willy-nilly. Some folk don't actually like being seperated from their older children either.

Or are they just not supposed to have more children so they don't have to miss a scan?

God help them when their precious children go to school then

Personally I don't think you can simply assume that, just because you've procreated, the entire world is child-friendly. I hardly think taking the occasional day or hour off work to look after your own child is 'willy-nilly', nor do I think you need a 'million' relatives to help you. Surely one would suffice.

Some things, possibly hospital appts included, just aren't suitable places for children. That's part of being a parent - appreciating that at times you're going to need to enlist someone to look after your child. Are you really suggesting it's reasonable to expect to be able to take your children everywhere with you? A funeral? A job interview?

Janepig

dizziblonde wrote: »

Depends on the hospital. In my local one it seems to be that you bring the entire flipping family to them (people sit there with like 5-6 hangers-on) as some kind of social event - but the scan rooms are quite big and set up with displays on the wall so you can see them... in another hospital I know of you can't swing a cat in the scan room so it's one other person only.

I remember this!! When I had to go to the hosp for an anti-natal check after the 20 week scan it was just like this - the expectant mum and about four or five hangers on, and assorted children. Bedlam. My dad came with me for company as DH couldn't get out of work and I get a teeny bit stressy in hospitals, and it was torture. You had to be there for 9am and were lucky if you got out of there before 12. I remember one little gang who came and sat by us and then got a load of pizzas out to munch on while they waited. How I didn't throw up with the nausea I had anyway I don't know!

Personally I would never take my children along to anything like that if I could help it. Sometimes MIL has to go for blood tests when they are looking after DD/DS and they wait in the car with FIL while MIL has the blood taken.

I'm not too old to remember the days when children were only able to visit people on hospital wards on a Saturday afternoon - which may seem harsh, but having children running riot around a ward full of ill people is hardly conducive to their recovery I would think. My grandmother was very ill in hospital when I was about 7 or 8 and I had to wait in the corridor outside her side room while my mother was with her as it was the school holidays, she had no-one to watch me, and I wasn't allowed to go in (probably wisely as I understand it wouldn't have been the sort of thing a child of that age should see).

I can also never understand why people bring their children with them to the Magistrates Court (where I work). A more unsavoury place to take a child is hard to imagine.

Jx

dizziblonde

Oh with the kids running amok on wards one - I had to spend a fortnight enduring the hell that is a maternity ward and on one occasion the woman in the bed next to me had her husband show up at 9am in the morning, deposit the toddler with her, and vanish off all day till 9pm at night - leaving mum (who'd given birth in the small hours) to babysit. Toddler spent the day banging the bin lids (making my girl jump in the air with shock every time he did) and looking under everyone's cubicle curtains constantly.

If I was her - I'd have throttled the husband!

Janepig

dizziblonde wrote: »

Oh with the kids running amok on wards one - I had to spend a fortnight enduring the hell that is a maternity ward and on one occasion the woman in the bed next to me had her husband show up at 9am in the morning, deposit the toddler with her, and vanish off all day till 9pm at night - leaving mum (who'd given birth in the small hours) to babysit. Toddler spent the day banging the bin lids (making my girl jump in the air with shock every time he did) and looking under everyone's cubicle curtains constantly.

If I was her - I'd have throttled the husband!

I had a side room. I asked for it both times. I paid about £30 for a three day stay the first time but they didn't charge me the second time. Call me a snob but there was no way on this earth that I was prepared to be on the ward and take the chance of ending up sharing with someone I've encountered in work. Not long before I had DD I bumped into one of our "flock" outside work and he was looking particularly rough, because, he told us, his "missus" had just given birth and he'd been wetting the baby's head. Eek!!!

Mind you, after my dad accompanied me to the anti-natal clinic at the hosp, he said he wanted to pay for me to go to a private hospital to avoid the "types" that were there!! Very sensitive is my dad :rotfl:.

Jx

Nicki

Lol Janepig. I did a year of criminal law when I first qualified as a solicitor, and was "taken aback" when I went in to hospital to have my gallbladder removed to be wheeled down to theatre in a robe with my bum hanging out, by the client I had seen as a duty solicitor in the cells the night before, who greeted me very friendily and offered to visit when I came round...