Dad is refusing to give my daughter back

Confusednfrightened

clearingout wrote: »

I agree with this. Hope you are speaking with your solicitor now - you will need to get into court for an ex parte hearing today if possible (that's assuming he still has her and hasn't dropped her at nursery in which case just go and get her!). You will be off work all day I'm afraid.

My ex once kept our youngest (then 10 months and still breastfed) overnight without agreement (basically refused to return him or answer the phone) and I am sorry to say now that I 'let it go'. He did give him back the next day (I think once he'd had time to sit on it he realised it wasn't the right thing to do) but not before reporting me to Social Services (presumably to cover his own back in some way). By not doing anything about it, I gave him carte blanche to walk all over me and it took me quite a while to get things on an even keel again. Don't let it go - deal with it using legal means.

Glad you got him back x

Candy53

Because the OP hasn't got full custody of her child, the people at the nursery won't be allowed to stop the father picking up the child.

Candy

Just_Plain_Jane

Candy53 wrote: »

Because the OP hasn't got full custody of her child, the people at the nursery won't be allowed to stop the father picking up the child.

Candy

This is only a consideration if the OP doesn't get there first. I would be inclined to tell them I'll be collecting her early until the matter is resolved.

clearingout

Candy53 wrote: »

Because the OP hasn't got full custody of her child, the people at the nursery won't be allowed to stop the father picking up the child.

Candy

I agree this is the legal point of view. However, my ex recently re-appeared in the children's lives after a 15 month gap. I had let the school know he was back but I hadn't said he might do the school run from time to time. The first time he did it, they refused to hand the children over to him until they had been able to speak with me. That my ex might 'take' the children was not something I had ever discussed with the school so they really had no reason to do this - they just erred on the side of caution.

For the OP - it would be worth a word with nursery to see what their view point is. If they've never had a problem, the chances are they won't understand the legality of it all and will refuse to hand over your little one to your ex on your say so. However, if they have a clued up manager or have had a problem in the past, you may find they are unable to help, however willing or sympathetic to the situation they may be.

sassyblue

I hope he takes her to nursery so you can collect her much earlier than she's supposed to come out. However, l daresay the father will tell the staff *you* can't take her home or some nonsense.

Who cares if you said you need a break? (He said he needed one too!) Most parents say they'd love a break it doesn't mean they'll get or arrange one!

xxlouisexx56

When my dd went to nursery I paid the fees. So if I said that her father was not to collect her then that is what would be happening.

Phone the nursery to see if she has been dropped off and then get your backside over there and bring her home!

Confusednfrightened

clearingout wrote: »

For the OP - it would be worth a word with nursery to see what their view point is. If they've never had a problem, the chances are they won't understand the legality of it all and will refuse to hand over your little one to your ex on your say so. However, if they have a clued up manager or have had a problem in the past, you may find they are unable to help, however willing or sympathetic to the situation they may be.

I have spoken to the nursery and as there hasnt been a problem in the past they wont take sides but have agreed to inform me if she is taken in.

Only 40 mins to wait now

Confusednfrightened

sassyblue wrote: »

I hope he takes her to nursery so you can collect her much earlier than she's supposed to come out. However, l daresay the father will tell the staff *you* can't take her home or some nonsense.

Who cares if you said you need a break? (He said he needed one too!) Most parents say they'd love a break it doesn't mean they'll get or arrange one!

Sassyblue they have said that if he tells them im not to collect her he will be told the same as me, so im worried now he will just turn around and take her back out.

xxlouisexx56 wrote: »

When my dd went to nursery I paid the fees. So if I said that her father was not to collect her then that is what would be happening.

Phone the nursery to see if she has been dropped off and then get your backside over there and bring her home!

I do pay the fees but as there has not been an issue in the past they are refusing to take sides .

Im just hoping he takes her now as his idea is that his new girlfriend will look after her as she doesnt work.

clearingout

ah...there you have it. The 'I'm a superior parent 'cos I have a new partner so the child will be brought up in a family rather than with a single mum. And whats more, the new partner doesn't work so the child will be with someone who cares for her all day rather than at an impersonal nursery' complex.

I think your ex and mine are long-lost twins! He will get nowhere at all with this in court so although he might give you a few days of hell, it will all work out in your favour. Just hang on and keep your head clear - no yelling, swearing, threatening or general bad behaviour that can be used against you. Let your solicitor do the work for you.

Just_Plain_Jane

Confusednfrightened wrote: »

Im just hoping he takes her now as his idea is that his new girlfriend will look after her as she doesnt work.

Let's hope he's misguided enough to think that the girlfriend will be allowed to collect her. That's one scenario you can put your foot down about.