Am I over reacting?

jackie_w

DVardysShadow wrote: »

I think you are mismanaging his contribution to the trip. Yes he should be contributing quite heavily, but equally you need to cut him a little slack. Like 80% of the money he receives should go towards. But he should be left something - and he should be left some scope to voluntarily go beyond the target you are setting. But by demanding the lot, you are denying any scope for personal initiative. This will probably almost negate the positive lessons you intend.

Perhaps this is why his gran is interfering. She is wrong to do so - particularly to suggest what she did. She should instead be confronting you to your face - or openly giving money not to be spent on the school trip.

I suppose you a right. Think I will tell him that he can keep some and pay the rest to the trip.

On and someone asked where the trip was, it's to Australia.

DuckEggGingham

I would be livid with the MIL. If she had an issue with the way you are doing things then she could of spoke to you privately so you could explain.

I would also add that I do feel, like others, that you should maybe only "take" so much off him when he earns money towards his school trip and maybe not take all of his birthday money? I understand what you are trying to teach him and I do agree to an extent but I just feel even us grown ups even have a little bit left over ( if lucky lol!) after our bills are paid. The school trip is a bill.

Good luck!

Caroline_a

Can I ask why on earth a school is organising a trip to Australia?? Is it a particularly affluent area because no way could I have afforded that sort of money on a school trip with 3 children!! Whatever happened to a day trip to the local zoo/Roman ruins??

fedupnow

Well £1500 is a bargain. And the trip of a lifetime.

Perhaps split his 'income' each week into percentages. Spend x%, save y% and perhaps spend his x% on some trendy clothes ... he's bound to want them.

jackie_w

Caroline_a wrote: »

Can I ask why on earth a school is organising a trip to Australia?? Is it a particularly affluent area because no way could I have afforded that sort of money on a school trip with 3 children!! Whatever happened to a day trip to the local zoo/Roman ruins??

It's just an end of year thing where his school puts on a few trips abroad and the kids put their named up if they want to go. There are other trips to New York, Florida and I think there is one to south Africa!

fedupnow

jackie_w wrote: »

It's just an end of year thing where his school puts on a few trips abroad and the kids put their named up if they want to go. There are other trips to New York, Florida and I think there is one to south Africa!

Lucky kids!

jackie_w

fedupnow wrote: »

Well £1500 is a bargain. And the trip of a lifetime.

Perhaps split his 'income' each week into percentages. Spend x%, save y% and perhaps spend his x% on some trendy clothes ... he's bound to want them.

We buy all his clothes for him. The only thing he has to spend his money on is play station games or sweets if he wants to buy them. if he decides to go to the cinema/mcdonalds with his friends we also pay for that. We actually pay for nearly everything for him, and this is why I specifically said he would, need to contribute.
I just feel at 16 he should be starting to be a bit more responsible, but as someone has said maybe I'm being too vague with the amount he should be paying.

jackie_w

fedupnow wrote: »

Lucky kids!

I know, never had anything like that when I was at school.

Person_one

jackie_w wrote: »

It's just an end of year thing where his school puts on a few trips abroad and the kids put their named up if they want to go. There are other trips to New York, Florida and I think there is one to south Africa!

[STRIKE]Lucky[/STRIKE] Clever teachers.

DVardysShadow

jackie_w wrote: »

... My OH is says his mother should,nt be saying these things and I think he is going to have a word with her.

....

His gran has saved some money for him and he had broken his playstation, and she was going to give him the money she saved to get if fixed, but we asked her to keep that money for him to be put towards his sPending money and we fixed the playstation. We usually pay for all his school trips but because of the cost of this one we said he would have to contribute.

Ah, light dawns. Gran started to be subversive because you thwarted her. Gran did not like you stopping her money going to repair the Playstation. Far better to have said "Oh thanks v much. We were going to pay for that, but we'll put our money to the trip".

As for having a word with her, well again, I think you are going to make a bad situation worse. If you know what she said about the money for working in the shop, someone has snitched. And you are going to cause a problem between gran and the snitch. Sometimes it is best to know what you know and know how you knew and leave it at that for another day.