Baby Showers?

missyp123

i just got my sis-in law and outfit and a set of baby pj's. I will be getting something when he is born too so didnt want to blow all the budget when im trying to make ends meet myself!

just to add, i myself dont understand them but i guess people are doing them more often, esp for their first babies.

sweaty_betty

Hi there - I'm not sure what the etiquette (sp?) is, but I think that babyshowers can be quite different, so it's worth asking either your niece, or the person who's arranging this for her, what it will involve.

For what it's worth, not all babyshowers are mercenary. The ones I've been to have mainly involved:
- eating cake and drinking tea
- going out for lunch
- playing games (usually with a baby theme)
- making something for the baby during the event (we've done cot mobiles, patchwork quilts etc)

In a couple of them people were invited (but not expected - some opted out, which was fine) to contribute £5 to a group present or buy something for a couple of £s for mum/baby.

I know they're an american import, but they don't need to be the same. For me, it was all about spending time with a group of friends before the baby arrived.

OP - hopefully your niece's will be along these lines, I certainly don't think you should feel obliged to buy anything else when you've been very generous already.

abis21

My friend had a baby shower, only when it came to the shower she was in hospital with complications and insisted the shower should continue anyway :eek::eek:

Did seem a bit present grabbing in my opinion, but I understand she had already bought decorations etc and wanted to use them.

She had asked me to bake some buns for the shower as I used to have a little business cake making, so I did some really cute ones that took a lot of time and effort and didn't take a gift.

I got a gift for when the baby came instead, as I went for a visit with my friend and the baby too then - much nicer in my opinion.

I think you should just do what you feel comfortable with to be honest. There is no particular right or wrong things to do - its the same with any gifts. I would have thought you have been more than generous already, and you'll probably end up buying an outfit or something once the baby has arrived too, so don't feel like you 'should' buy something else for the baby shower as well. Maybe you could offer to help out with organising a party game for the shower, or baking some buns or something if you feel bad for going 'empty handed' (not that you should - but I know some people would...)

Savvy_Sue

GAMES? oh dear ... we're having one at work, for a colleague, no games, PLEASE! Let's stick to cake ...

GracieP

jetplane wrote: »

Im sure most of the world celebrate babies aftee the birth but America is just uber commercialised.

There are similar traditions in other regions. The Godh Bharai or Srimanthais an Indian celebration where a woman at about 7 months gestation has a party with all her female friends and relatives and they 'fill her lap' with gifts.

That said I do find the idea of a shower massively tacky and presumptuous. I can the appeal of a girlie night with family and friends ahead of the birth. It would probably be a nice bonding experience, maybe get a take-away, watch Knocked-Up and then share advice and horror stories with the expectant mother. But only if it was clear that gifts were neither expected nor wanted.

*max*

I can't understand the appeal of a "girly" anything. A "girly night out"...urgh...Brings to mind a bunch of barbie wannabes complete with orange fake tan and garish, much too short dresses and unappealing "in your face even though I have the IQ of a goldfish" personalities. I have never understood the "girly" thing; if anything, it fills me with dread. Sorry, I'm totally digressing!

As for baby showers...I'd be tempted to send a card saying "Well done on your incredibly unique ability to produce an offspring! Woohoo!" But then i'm super nice like that.

Abbafan1972

The thought of a "baby shower" just fills me with dread!

I would much prefer to send a gift and card once the baby was born.

It's just a present grabbing thing or a show to see who can buy the biggest/most expensive gift IMO. Along with Christenings......but that's a debate for another time! :rotfl:

Let us know how you get on OP.

j.e.j.

*max* wrote: »

I can't understand the appeal of a "girly" anything. A "girly night out"...urgh...Brings to mind a bunch of barbie wannabes complete with orange fake tan and garish, much too short dresses and unappealing "in your face even though I have the IQ of a goldfish" personalities. I have never understood the "girly" thing; if anything, it fills me with dread. Sorry, I'm totally digressing!

:rotfl::T:rotfl:
..it's not just me, then!

I think of baby showers a bit as counting your chickens, tbh. I know that probably comes across as being a bit of a worry-wart, but I think I'd rather celebrate once the baby's here.

Anyway, I think regarding the niece's baby shower the best thing might be to ask the girl in question or someone else who is going, because it does seem to vary as to what's expected of you. OP has already bought a couple of gifts for the baby, so she shouldn't be expected to buy anything else.

MummyOfTwo

im currently pregnant and would have to politely decline if one were suggested to me! like others have said, id rather have tea, cake and celebrations once we have a new baby here with us. my best friend had a baby last year, and another friend wanted to throw her a baby shower. inn the end a compromise was reached by us booking a nice hotel that does proper afternoon tea, and having a lovely cakefest! BF banned pressies too, she just wanted a nice get together before the whirlwind arrived:D

dizziblonde

GracieP wrote: »

There are similar traditions in other regions. The Godh Bharai or Srimanthais an Indian celebration where a woman at about 7 months gestation has a party with all her female friends and relatives and they 'fill her lap' with gifts.

That said I do find the idea of a shower massively tacky and presumptuous. I can the appeal of a girlie night with family and friends ahead of the birth. It would probably be a nice bonding experience, maybe get a take-away, watch Knocked-Up and then share advice and horror stories with the expectant mother. But only if it was clear that gifts were neither expected nor wanted.

Why oh why oh why oh why oh why do people persist in doing this?! It's like you develop magnetic powers when you get a bump and people beeline toward you to tell you about their 967 hour labour requiring an episitomy carried out using a chainsaw and a ventouse delivery using a dyson on hypersuck mode and then a tear so bad you could park a double decker bus in there! (OK so I may have exaggerated a tad there but you get the idea)

As for baby showers - I hate things with gift lists anyway and I see so many girls flip out on baby forums about the fact that someone dared buy something NOT on their baby registry that I think they're pretty vulgar and the idea of playing guess the baby's weight or whatever is just twee and tedious.

You may have guessed I didn't have one.