Baby Showers?

Northern_Princess

I have been invited to one and have never been to one. The lady in question is my niece and we have already bought a moses basket and car seat (the ones she wanted).

So what do I take to the baby shower? Do I take a gift? If so who for? Mum or baby? Also if I take a gift to the baby shower what do I do once the little one is here as we have already taken round the moses basket and car seat?

I had thought of making up a hamper as a gift for mum after the baby is born as we have already bought for baby, but I am now all confused :eek:

Advice on baby shower etiquette is most gratefully received

Person_one

No such thing as baby shower etiquette because they're a horrific American grabby event that should never be allowed to get a foothold here.

Boycott it (they're no fun anyway, you won't be missing anything) and get something for the baby that you'll give after its born.

scooterpig

I'm with Person One on this - and I live in America. I've been to one, for a good friend. The person having the baby doesn't throw the shower, someone else does. I really didn't like it, you had to buy a gift for the baby (off the gift registry which she was pushed into having), which was all noted at the party. My friend who was having the baby felt very awkward about the whole thing. When the baby was born, I felt I had to get another gift too though in reality I got much more pleasure both choosing and giving that gift because I knew the gender and it felt more personal as I was giving the gift when I saw the baby.

I went because I wanted to know what this American tradition was about, but it was very uncomfortable and felt very mercenary. I would not attend another one, and would just get a gift (of my choosing) when the baby was born.

Bluemeanie_2

I hate them and agree totally with person-one and the other poster. I only went to one as my good friends sister threw it so it wasn't her fault. What I found awkward was, I bought a gift for the shower, but then the first time I saw the baby I felt awkward going around empty handed the first time I went to see the baby.

mummyroysof3

i hate the idea of them too tbh..you shouldnt be expected to buy someone a gift just cos they having a baby

i think you have been more than generous tbh so i would be telling you have come empty handed cos you have already bought stuff

BB1984

I hate baby showers too. I'm currently 9 months pregnant and actually told my friends I didn't want one (they wanted to throw me one). I said that if they really wanted to buy a present for the baby, I'd rather it had actually been born! Plus I think it's a horrible OTT American idea, personally.

Having said that, it doesn't help the OP who is going to one! Perhaps speak to your niece beforehand and ask if she'd appreciate having the moses basket and car seat at the baby shower (as opposed to after the baby is born) - after all, they'll need the car seat to bring the baby home from hospital in. You could also then take a small cute thing or nice treat for mum round when you go to visit them for the first time, if you wanted to.

lika_86

Far too much chicken counting for my liking. Fair enough if the mother to be wants one last lunch with her friends or whatever before the baby arrives but don't make it into a 'shower', gifts shouldn't be necessary at all.

If you feel obliged, maybe make a 'voucher' for a meal made for them by you when the baby arrives if you're local, chances are they'll be too tired to make proper food for a while.

Person_one

Haha, thanks folks, I expected to get shouted at by women who've had lovely tasteful baby showers that all the guests had a whale of a time at!

As well as the taste crimes committed by having a party where the whole purpose is to force your friends to buy you stuff, and where you make them sit round to watch you open your presents, I don't like the way in which they take for granted that the pregnancy will end well with a healthy living baby at the end of it. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen, so I really think babies should only be celebrated once they've arrived safely, as we've happily been doing in this country for donkey's years.

Chrissy1981

You could take some flowers round to the baby shower then you've not arrived empty handed? I don't think you need to buy anything else as you've already generously bought the moses basket and car seat!

marisco_2

I wish you were my Auntie OP, you sound really thoughtful

Your niece is already aware of how generous you have been in buying the moses basket and car seat. If I were her I would not expect you to give anything more. All I would hope for at the baby shower, would be your lovely company.

If you would like to take a gift along then buy something small for the baby. As a new mum you can never have enough little babygrows or sleepsuits around. Mothercare sell them in packs of 7 or 10 I think, very reasonably priced. Those newborns need frequent changes and if your niece has a big supply she doesn't need to have the washing machine going 24/7. So you would be saving her time and effort.

When the baby arrives a gift for mum would I am sure be very much appreciated. Something she can pamper herself with. Everyone always goes mad buying for baby and the new mum can easily be forgotten a bit.

jetplane

Like others I think baby showers are just a way of receiving double presents. We are used to arriving with a gift after the baby is born so we take one to the baby shower and then one after the birth.

OP you have already bought the presents so you are not going empty handed. Ask for the moses basket back and take it with you :rotfl:

My daughter is pregnant :T :jand has murmured baby shower words. I think they are vulgar and if they happen at all it should surley be after the baby is born and be a welcome to the world party. I think we might have called them christenings :rotfl:

Im sure most of the world celebrate babies aftee the birth but America is just uber commercialised.