Hoarding...not just on TV

loobylou2

Possession wrote: »

LoobyLou I would be getting tough now and telling them they need to do the work to save their stuff.

They do need to do the work to save their stuff!!! The work on the house begins on August 7th so they need to sort it out and help me for once in their lives. I get really upset with asking /telling them to help and getting nowhere. They don't care at all and seem to think its a big joke. I've said that if DS does not help out in the next couple of weeks I'll be selling his Xbox 360 and television because enough is enough. DD1 has problems in managing her anger and trashed her bedroom which she shares with her sister when she was in a rage which is the main reason why it was in such a state. I used to tidy it/clean it on a regular basis but every time I did it the next time she got angry she'd do it again and I just gave up doing it in the end as it was/is exhausting and she refuses point blank to help sort it out even though shes responsible for the mess. I've decided that once the work on the house is done they are just going to have beds and a wardrobe for clothes in there and I'm going to stop buying things for them unless they really,really need them because I've had enough of the mess I really have.

beanielou

I feel your pain loobylou.
I really do.

Moneysavingmum~I hope you can get the blood test sorted out in a way thats best for you ASAP.

SpikyHedgehog

Loobylou, have you got a friend with a lock up garage or similar that the family couldn't access? I'm thinking you could clear the house into the garage & bring back 1 box at a time to deal with, but you have to keep getting the boxes in to sort, or you're just moving the hoard... (my parents have the loft, 2 sheds, & 1 workshop full of clutter).

What's worked for me with a less uncooperative family & more time, is bribery - DS1 had a million cuddly toys, most of which had no value for him but he wouldn't get rid of. I said I'd give him 20p for each one he sent to the school summer fair, on the understanding he wasn't to buy them back. He got rid of 2 bin liners full, keeping the ones he loved.

I do the same with books now, clothes the boys aren't that bothered about but if they were I'd do the same with them.

I've gone through 1 cupboard in the kitchen, thrown away jelly moulds, lolly moulds, odd lids... I have kept most of my baking tins as we like baking & use them often. Did get rid of the rusty 1 & a tin from mother in law is out for return.

I've taken out the denby plates & mugs we got with vouchers from our wedding... But just churned them at the moment, not got them shifted... I chose them, & I still love the shape & colour & durability. But we're currently using a cheap (& highly breakable) set from MrS, that the boys & I chose after Errant Husband left. & denby have discontinued that colour, so I can't get 3 more mugs, or any bowls...

I need to get them gone, I know. Guess I could try ebay, but the wrapping & postage would be a lot.

blossomhill_2

SpikyHedgehog wrote: »

can't get 3 more mugs, or any bowls...

I need to get them gone, I know. Guess I could try ebay, but the wrapping & postage would be a lot.

Hi Spiky - have you tried the china matching companies online - either for more stock or to buy yours from you?
I am about to try, as looking on the site helped me realise that not only do I have sought after sets but many of our odd plates hanging on walls are in fact parts of other people's old dinner services!

SpikyHedgehog

blossomhill wrote: »

Hi Spiky - have you tried the china matching companies online - either for more stock or to buy yours from you?
I am about to try, as looking on the site helped me realise that not only do I have sought after sets but many of our odd plates hanging on walls are in fact parts of other people's dinner old services!

Ooh, that's a great idea! Will add it to my summer holiday list (1 more week of school, then I'm in for a week of admin, then I'm off till September!).

blossomhill_2

moneysavingmumofone wrote: »

Thankyou, putting it down on paper does help me. Writing lists clears my mind and it helps a lot to write down things I need to do like Washing up, Sort out clothes, Clear toys away etc (sounds silly saying it ) but it is a lot less overwhelming than looking at the mess and not knowing where to start!

When I started on my hoard I found it useful to give myself fairly random tasks - on my "to do" list I would put something like one of these

• Hang up 10 black items
• Find 3 handbags and empty them
• Put all paperbacks together on one shelf
• Hang up 3 skirts

I found this easier to stick to than staring at a pile of mixed items and working my way in, and along the way I'd start thinking "why am I hanging up these black tshirts that are old and tatty" and bin them instead

Today my task is going to be

• doing words

Anything I come across will be allocated one of these words "have" collect" "use" "value"

e.g I have 10 chopping boards but use 3
e.g. I collect 8 patterns of old china but use 1 and value 2

My plan is that this will help me weed out the things I store/collect from habit - I am planning it to sound basic and schoolish so I can hear how stupid it sounds as I hope an inner voice will then say "well why do you collect the other 5 china patterns if you neither use or value them?"

Wish me luck!

beanielou

Best of Scottish blossomhill

thriftwizard

Indeed I do wish you luck, Blossomhill! I know what you mean about the china - I have one Meakin pattern that we had for our wedding, and another two Midwinter patterns that mix 'n match quite well with it, and we need a fair amount in daily use so that's OK. But I also have two 30s sets of my great-aunt's, a "spare" tea-set in the wedding china which turned up at the local market along with some dinner plates etc. that I really did need, to replace broken ones (got the whole box for £5 which really was a bargain; the tea-set sells for £40, & the dinner plates are £14 each. BUT, needless to say, I haven't sold it...) and an enormous set of TOTC Chinese ware, with about 20 settings & including things like tureens, that my mother decided I should have "because you've always loved it, dear..." aaargh! :eek:

And one of my friends insists on bringing plates for the everyday sets whenever she finds something similar in charity shops. Trouble is, she doesn't have a very good visual memory & picks up anything vaguely similar - eclectic is not the word for my china collection - it's more like bizarre - and not the Clarice Cliff variety either!

My mother collects Carltonware; I do love some of it, but am kind of dreading inheriting her vast array of it, if I can't even bring myself to dispose of Aunty's stuff, which doesn't carry very much meaning for me. I suppose if I'm lucky, one or other of the kids will take some of it off my hands when they set up homes of their own! Although, come to think of it, the main reason I still have Aunty's is because when I tried to car-boot it, the dealers were offering me ridiculously low prices - £1 or £2 for a whole set of fairly sought-after 30s china in good nick? I think not, I know what they'll sell it on for! I don't begrudge them a fair markup, that's the name of the game, but such a low offer really is taking the proverbial. But is that the hoarder in me talking? Should I have let it go anyway?

Actually, come to think of it, I should probably send the whole darn lot off to auction! But I will ask DS3 first, who has a good chance of a career in the Diplomatic - a bit of family china & silver (don't even think about the 3 sets of ivory & silver fishknives in the computer drawer) might come in handy there.

(Please don't think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, BTW. Both parental families were just middle-class people who saved up, chose their belongings with great care & looked after them well, then passed them onto to us because we were "church mice". And there is a story behind the Chinese stuff, which was given to my grandfather by a grateful Chinese family)

Anyway, the weather and waiting in for a courier to collect another big Ebay'd item has put paid to doing anything exciting today, so on with the big clear-out... might even manage "before" & "after" pics of the conservatory, even though the muddle out there is only 1/10th of what it was a couple of weeks ago.

moneysavingmumofone

blossomhill wrote: »

I used to have to have an anaesthetist but nowadays practice nurses and plebos can do it if they use a butterfly

I would much rather a butterfly, bit less scary! Im glad I didnt imagine the anaesthetist thing lol.

SpikyHedgehog wrote: »

I need to get them gone, I know. Guess I could try ebay, but the wrapping & postage would be a lot.

What about your local facebook for sale page, netmums for sale board? People sell lots of different things on there, worth a try. x

blossomhill wrote: »

When I started on my hoard I found it useful to give myself fairly random tasks - on my "to do" list I would put something like one of these

• Hang up 10 black items
• Find 3 handbags and empty them
• Put all paperbacks together on one shelf
• Hang up 3 skirts

I found this easier to stick to than staring at a pile of mixed items and working my way in, and along the way I'd start thinking "why am I hanging up these black tshirts that are old and tatty" and bin them instead


Today my task is going to be

• doing words

Anything I come across will be allocated one of these words "have" collect" "use" "value"

e.g I have 10 chopping boards but use 3
e.g. I collect 8 patterns of old china but use 1 and value 2

My plan is that this will help me weed out the things I store/collect from habit - I am planning it to sound basic and schoolish so I can hear how stupid it sounds as I hope an inner voice will then say "well why do you collect the other 5 china patterns if you neither use or value them?"

Wish me luck!

Best of luck with your task today and thanks for the very good advice!

Thankyou to everyone for your support and good advice, nice to know people understand! It was quite odd coming into the front room this morning to a clear floor, does anyone else feel a bit uncomfortable/weird when their house is clear? Whenever we've had a huge tidy up before and its all tidy it feels so strange, suppose Im so used to clutter! Have a good day everyone! :wave:

lostinrates

I feel happy when the house is clear but Accesorised.


Mummysavingmumofone, i went this morning and i am still alive!