Hoarding...not just on TV

loobylou2

Moneysavingmumofone. I know just how you feel about the manager of the bathroom/kitchen project visiting you and sympathise. We are having our bathroom and kitchen done in 3 weeks time and I was horrified when the liasion officer visited, looked in DD1's and DS's bedrooms and said that if we didn't get rid of the clutter they wouldn't do the work and that we were probably in breach of our tenancy agreement. The plus side is though that her saying that has motivated me to do something about it even though it isn't actually my mess!!!and you can now see the floors in their respective bedrooms now which you couldn't do before. Its not easy and I still feel as if I'm really struggling with it all though but at least its better than it was!!!

scaredy_cat

loobylou2 wrote: »

Well in an attempt to continue decluttering today I emptied the chest of drawers in my bedroom and am now £15 richer!!!!! Also placed an Ad on Freecycle to get rid of an old tv:j. Am finding it hard going though because despite repeated requests/demands for help from my children I feel as if I am going nowhere fast. DD1 offered to clean/declutter the living room for me in return for cash and then changed her mind and said she couldn't be bothered. I've made it clear to all 3 children though that the only way they will get any money at all from me now is to help in decluttering around the house. But, they don't seem to care!!!! I wish I could make them see how hard it is for me. I suffer from depression and get very, very tired. I struggle to hold things together enough to be able to go out to work in the mornings without having to continually clear up after them but do they care, not a bit. At least I'm at home for a bit before the work begins on the house though and on wednesday this week which is my day off I'm going to ring round the charity shops and ask if they collect because I've got loads of bedding and books which need to be rehomed !!!!!

you could give them a deadline to sort their rooms, say 2 or 3 weeks, then anything which isn't clothing will go in a bag and in the bin. That way you have given fair warning and if they really want it, they will clear it away.

Byatt

moneysavingmumofone wrote: »

Im going to set myself targets this week to see if I can get the flat looking better by the weekend. I have a bit of a hurdle on getting a diagnosis as I need a blood test to get one but I have a huge phobia. The Dr first said I needed a blood test 2 years ago but I just cant get over this fear and they just dont seem to understand or have any suggestions besides numbing cream whic doesnt actually address the fear. I feel so silly as I know people have to go through far worse but my phobia just gets stronger no matter how much I try to be free of it. Thanks. xxx


I do feel for you, its hard when people moan about mess and dont take any responsibility for it at all. My OH is like this and it is infuriating. x


Thankyou, putting it down on paper does help me. Writing lists clears my mind and it helps a lot to write down things I need to do like Washing up, Sort out clothes, Clear toys away etc (sounds silly saying it ) but it is a lot less overwhelming than looking at the mess and not knowing where to start! You are spot on about not being able to enjoy visits!

Ive made some headway, at least the main bit of floor is clear! Also cleared under the shelving unit, its obvious Im not going to clear the table and under it by the time MIL gets here but shes seen it worse so Im not as worried as earlier. Im going to clear the boxes/bags/general junk from the bit of floor in between the sofa and armchair now, seems to be a bit of a hotspot for dumping things. Whilst doing this I am remembering the followowing things that happened to me recently to shame myself into not stopping!! I wish everyone the best of luck with the tasks they've set themselves to do today. xxx
When we were getting the new kitchen and bathroom the electrician also came around unexpectedly to do a complete rewire! I nearly died of shame when he had to go in the bedrooms. Then when it was all complete the manager of the kitchen and bathrooms project came round (letting himself in with the key I forgot they had!! I was going to ignore the door. ) with all the top bosses to inspect it, the bedroom doors were open, the whole place was a tip and I literally wanted to disappear. Have never felt so ashamed in my whole life and I could just see the disgust in their faces.

Can you take a friend with you? I would really emphasise to dr that this fear is affecting you, maybe he could get it done without you having to wait...I have a phobia about dentists. So know how awful it is.

blossomhill_2

moneysavingmumofone wrote: »

I have tried a lot including touching the area they take the blood from to get myself used to it but even that made me feel so faint I had to lie down for a minute

Ah, bells ringing here - is this the area in the crook of your arm? I am phobic about being touched there, even a comforting stroke or hug can result in my taking a swing at the hugger as it makes me feel so sick to be touched there following lots of blood tests as a child ... but I am fine having it taken from the backs of my hands so get it taken there - it's my body so I just firmly ask them to use the hand and they usually comply
Would this be better for you?

moneysavingmumofone

loobylou2 wrote: »

Moneysavingmumofone. I know just how you feel about the manager of the bathroom/kitchen project visiting you and sympathise. We are having our bathroom and kitchen done in 3 weeks time and I was horrified when the liasion officer visited, looked in DD1's and DS's bedrooms and said that if we didn't get rid of the clutter they wouldn't do the work and that we were probably in breach of our tenancy agreement. The plus side is though that her saying that has motivated me to do something about it even though it isn't actually my mess!!!and you can now see the floors in their respective bedrooms now which you couldn't do before. Its not easy and I still feel as if I'm really struggling with it all though but at least its better than it was!!!

It really does motivate you, although with me it was a short lived motivation as I knew that was probably the last visit. Good luck with it and well done on what youve done so far. x

Byatt wrote: »

Can you take a friend with you? I would really emphasise to dr that this fear is affecting you, maybe he could get it done without you having to wait...I have a phobia about dentists. So know how awful it is.

I dont have any friends that live nearby but my OH would come with me. I just want it over with but I need to do it to get to that bit obviously lol. I can unfortunately emphasis with the dentist phobia too, I am a total mess. Thanks for your kind words today. x
Fil has dropped DS off so Im sitting down for a moment before putting the pork in the oven. (OH is working until 10 so late dinner for me and him) My shoulder is hurting now, yet another thing to tell the Dr about, will definitely have to book a double appointment!! xxx

Possession

LoobyLou I would be getting tough now and telling them they need to do the work to save their stuff.

moneysavingmumofone

blossomhill wrote: »

Ah, bells ringing here - is this the area in the crook of your arm? I am phobic about being touched there, even a comforting stroke or hug can result in my taking a swing at the hugger as it makes me feel so sick to be touched there following lots of blood tests as a child ... but I am fine having it taken from the backs of my hands so get it taken there - it's my body so I just firmly ask them to use the hand and they usually comply
Would this be better for you?

Yes indeed, am feeling the sick feeling thinking about it! I would really prefer it taken from my hand but have been told several times in the past that only an anesthetist can take it from there and when I was pregnant (after nearly fainting, rocking back and forth and throwing up everywhere!) they actually had to go and get one to take it from my hand? x

Byatt

moneysavingmumofone wrote: »

Yes indeed, am feeling the sick feeling thinking about it! I would really prefer it taken from my hand but have been told several times in the past that only an anesthetist can take it from there and when I was pregnant (after nearly fainting, rocking back and forth and throwing up everywhere!) they actually had to go and get one to take it from my hand? x

I've never heard of that. I am not afraid (in fact long story short, I had to have a sedative at the dentist and it involved putting a needle in and he took ages, and was worried I'd be upset, but it didn't upset me, having my teeth looked at did however :eek:), but my veins don't always cooperate although some nurses are definitely better than others, and they have occasionally taken from my hand instead.

Taking someone with you does help as it's distracting and they can comfort you...or imagine we are all surrounding you with our support and cuddles.

Possession

moneysavingmumofone wrote: »

Yes indeed, am feeling the sick feeling thinking about it! I would really prefer it taken from my hand but have been told several times in the past that only an anesthetist can take it from there and when I was pregnant (after nearly fainting, rocking back and forth and throwing up everywhere!) they actually had to go and get one to take it from my hand? x

I too often have to have blood taken from my hand as I have incredible disappearing veins. The phlebotomist at your local hospital blood test dept should definitely be able to do it - if you generally just have it done by the nurse at your GP clinic, they may not be able to.

blossomhill_2

moneysavingmumofone wrote: »

have been told several times in the past that only an anesthetist can take it from there

I used to have to have an anaesthetist but nowadays practice nurses and plebos can do it if they use a butterfly