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Hoarding...not just on TV

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  • GreyQueen
    GreyQueen Posts: 13,008 Forumite
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    GreyQueen wrote: »
    Righty, going to drink tea and see what is happening on Hoarding Woes and Tetanus Burger (hint, look at their review of 2011 and the rescue kittens. Look at the one called Ratty. Prepare to perish from cute-poisoning
    Look! It's Ratty the rescue kitten!

    ratty.jpg
    OK Greyqueen, I give up, what's tetanus Burger!
    See below.
    www.tetanusburger.blogspot.com - a good humoured blog about hoarded jalopies and VW vehicles

    http://hoardingwoes.wordpress.com/ - a frightening portent of what we might become/awe inspiring work of one man and the two hoarded houses of his mother and his aunt.

    And Ratty all growed up (bottom right in shot)

    allfour.jpg
    Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
    John Ruskin
    Veni, vidi, eradici
    (I came, I saw, I kondo'd)
  • SpikyHedgehog
    SpikyHedgehog Posts: 1,008 Forumite
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    Went to my parents yesterday, & mum was struggling to make cakes. It's not that she's a bad cook, she's a great cook, though she doesn't cook as much now we've all left home & she works full time as she did when we all lived at home & she didn't work.

    No, she was struggling because her kitchen looks like the after photo JoJo posted... Dad's parents were hoarders too, & as my aunt now lives in my grandparents' house, theres been no incentive to do a big clear out. Periodically, she'll give mum & dad more stuff that they squash into their house or pass on to me or 1 of my siblings.

    & I too struggle. Someone said it's often triggered by loss, & that struck home with me. Something that I'd kept for 16 years, got rid of last year, I still feel really sad about, & it's a whole sense of loss with it. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was sure it was a girl, & the Works had flower fairy & brambly hedge postcards, so I bought them for ' her' bedroom.

    Well, of course, he was a boy. But I kept them, thinking ' next time...'. Realised my OH was an alcoholic with no interest in changing this, left him, met & married someone else, tried for a baby & had 4 miscarriages before another son, wanted another baby but we said we'd wait, then he left me & I'm now at 42 & single not at all likely to have that baby girl. But I cried when I put those postcards in a CS bag last year, & if I'd not cleared them out then, don't know if I could now.

    I am working to get rid of stuff though. & need to accept that my house doesn't have to be perfect to have people in it...
    C.R.A.P.R.O.L.L.Z #37 - waterproof wearing cage customiser, chief of cable ties and duct tape

    It's me, DS1 (24), DS2 (16), and the lurcher.
  • SpikyHedgehog
    SpikyHedgehog Posts: 1,008 Forumite
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    Went to my parents yesterday, & mum was struggling to make cakes. It's not that she's a bad cook, she's a great cook, though she doesn't cook as much now we've all left home & she works full time as she did when we all lived at home & she didn't work.

    No, she was struggling because her kitchen looks like the after photo JoJo posted... Dad's parents were hoarders too, & as my aunt now lives in my grandparents' house, theres been no incentive to do a big clear out. Periodically, she'll give mum & dad more stuff that they squash into their house or pass on to me or 1 of my siblings.

    & I too struggle. Someone said it's often triggered by loss, & that struck home with me. Something that I'd kept for 16 years, got rid of last year, I still feel really sad about, & it's a whole sense of loss with it. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was sure it was a girl, & the Works had flower fairy & brambly hedge postcards, so I bought them for ' her' bedroom.

    Well, of course, he was a boy. But I kept them, thinking ' next time...'. Realised my OH was an alcoholic with no interest in changing this, left him, met & married someone else, tried for a baby & had 4 miscarriages before another son, wanted another baby but we said we'd wait, then he left me & I'm now at 42 & single not at all likely to have that baby girl. But I cried when I put those postcards in a CS bag last year, & if I'd not cleared them out then, don't know if I could now.

    I am working to get rid of stuff though. & need to accept that my house doesn't have to be perfect to have people in it...
    C.R.A.P.R.O.L.L.Z #37 - waterproof wearing cage customiser, chief of cable ties and duct tape

    It's me, DS1 (24), DS2 (16), and the lurcher.
  • calicocat
    calicocat Posts: 5,698 Forumite
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    GreyQueen wrote: »
    Look! It's Ratty the rescue kitten!

    ratty.jpg

    See below.



    And Ratty all growed up (bottom right in shot)

    allfour.jpg


    They are SOooooo cute !
    Yep...still at it, working out how to retire early.:D....... Going to have to rethink that scenario as have been screwed over by the company. A work in progress.
  • calicocat
    calicocat Posts: 5,698 Forumite
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    because we are collecting posts along with the rest of our carp:D


    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: that and being :)on here is time away from tidying 'stuff'
    Yep...still at it, working out how to retire early.:D....... Going to have to rethink that scenario as have been screwed over by the company. A work in progress.
  • azzabazza
    azzabazza Posts: 1,072 Forumite
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    I read quite a lot of this thread last night and I can only say what wonderful people you are. I can't begin to think what it can be like to be part of a hoarder's family or in fact be hoarder - not a criticism.

    I am classed as a 'hoarder' by my OH but I would say I need to de-clutter! My achilles heel is knitting wool/knitting needs/knitting patterns!

    Since my retirement I must say I have done some quite serious decluttering - who needs every utility bill for the last 40 years?

    One bedroom is undergoing refurbishment just now and every item going back in will now be assessed as to whether it is actually required. I have bought storage boxes with lids for some items which are stored under the beds so I have made a start.

    Thank you for sharing this with us all and take care.
  • blossomhill_2
    blossomhill_2 Posts: 1,923 Forumite
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    I've not done any Charity Shopping this weekend
    Well done Gingeernutty

    I misread this as Clarity Shopping - why don't we rename it that - we are only to go in with a very CLEAR objective of buying very specific things and don't get brainfog while in there and come out with things that weren't on our mental list?

    I have a very clear objective of looking for things that look like they have come from an old person's house clearance or could be used in my art projects, need to clarify those a bit further I think - waaay too broadbrush!
    You never know how far-reaching something good, that you may do or say today, may affect the lives of others tomorrow
  • Cat501
    Cat501 Posts: 1,195 Forumite
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    Hello all :)

    This morning I've bagged up some more clothes to get rid of, including dozens of threadbare black socks and a top I bought fairly recently and REALLY like, but if just doesn't look good on my weird shape and never will :( I've also got rid of a lot of old stained towels - I figure we really only need two big "hair-dyeing" towels, not a dozen :)

    I went to the charity shop yesterday with two bags of books :j and refused to look for new ones to buy! I did buy a tall thin shelving unit for a tenner though, it matches the bookcases I have in my bedroom and will store all my CDs plus a few books. Got to pick it up today - I've got two more bags of books to take there too when I go:j Admittedly most of them aren't mine but a few are - eg Halliwell's Film Guide 2004. I'm not even a big film fan, and besides, what's the internet for??! :p:p
  • alec_eiffel
    alec_eiffel Posts: 1,304 Forumite
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    Perfectionism strikes. I moved the shelves and am now getting utterly confused. E.g. Dewey system is not necessarily appropriate for home bookshelves. I think how i would look for cook books (i am starting with cook books) and i think i would go for vegetarian cook books, or indian cook books, so.....what is 'Indian' vegetarian cookery.....indian or vegetarian? I have put it in vegetarian (with a buddhist cook books too, which is also uncomfortable)but its not easy. I am finding this stressful!! Then the static shelf has meant one narrow bookshelf, so i am trying to justify a section of short cookery books, ignoring all other classifications.

    Tomorrows shelf is either going to be animals or gardening or small holding, I might be able to get some of all three, and again, there is crossover.

    Sheesh, maybe i should go back to dewey...hmm...i know a librarian on mse...


    I am leaving lots of room for more cookbooks, but that is all the cookery books off the floor, and

    I haven't read any further than this so forgive me if someone else has suggested this. Don't worry about it - broad brush it "cookbooks" is very probably a good enough category. Sorting things like that rather that micro managed makes it easy. If something is easier to put away than to get out it's easier to keep things tidy. Yes you have to hunt through the shelves to find the book you want but you just have to find a gap for it when you put it back on the shelf. It stops at source the need to have things in the "right" place. The right place is on the bookshelf and everything else is just fluffing.
  • Brighton_belle
    Brighton_belle Posts: 5,223 Forumite
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    broad brush it "cookbooks" is very probably a good enough category. The right place is on the bookshelf and everything else is just fluffing.
    This is a great principle Alec and works fine for me, but not everyone's brain is like that, so for some , this 'system' would be a chaotic mish mash of books that is just as disturbing to their brains as clutter. Some just need more order to feel calm I think. Is this true anyone for you?

    Got rid of lamp and tin can crusher, both unused for 10 and 3 yrs respectively on freecycle yesterday:j.

    Blossom - I love the clarity shopping idea:T. It is something I started for my elf over the last 2 years but giving it a name always helps I think. I find it very freeing to not feel under pressure to buy just because I am in town.
    Since I downsized my wardrobe last year, getting rid of 70%, I now know everything I own and that I have enough for this season, so there is absolutely no need to go clothes shopping, or even more importantly, browse in clothes shops:jand ris temptation (not that I enjoy clothes shopping but it is still easy to pick up a 'bargain' which is actually not needed at all.

    azzabazz - it is a good way to declutter, by emptying a room of everything and then selecting carefully what goes back in. There are 2 guys on line who blog about this sort of this and they actually have a system you can sign up for (free I think) that get you to box up every thing you own, and then starting afresh in your home, actively selecting form each box what actually gets to stay. Then the rest goes. Doing it the other way round from usual really, rather than choosing from a full house, what gets to go.
    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once
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