Hoarding...not just on TV

GreyQueen

blossomhill wrote: »

Can anyone find some keys in their house that they don't know what they belong to? In pots, on hooks, in drawers. Paraylsed with fear that if you get rid, you won't be able to open something?

Why not put them all on a ring with a key fob and label it "2012 Unknown".

That way you won't keep going back wondering what they are for, will know where to look when you find something you can't open, and won't pass that fear on to your offspring - they will be able to just ditch them when you are gone

In 2013 you will be able to look back and think ... well I haven't needed them in the last year, so do I actually need them?

I did this last year, had the grand key reconciliation and made sure they all made sense. I also realised that I had the key to a friend's house still on my everyday keyring from when I used to pop in and feed his cat years ago. made sure to pop around and return that.

One thing I do with keys is use those coloured rubber doofers that fit over the end of the key for fast identifiction. I know what green, pink, pale blue, navy and black open. I also carry the appropriate colour over to the spares with family members so if they see those keys, they'll know they're mine.

Making sense of your keys is a brilliant project. When an elderly relative of mine died suddenly in a hoarded house which had been in the family (plus outbuildings etc etc) for 80 years, it was chaos. We had bundles of keys which matched no known lock (we had to try them all) and there were a row of storage sheds in the back yard with padlocks on them to which there were no keys........absolutely maddening and so stressful.

dragonette

Hi all, I've been lurking quietly on this thread but feel the need to say thank you!! This thread has given me the kick up !!!!! I needed to get my place sorted in te vague hope that if it looks clean, tidy (preferably fantastic lol) then my OH won't turn from a collecter into a hoarder. I think he has already started but its slowed recently. We moved here a year ago, and most of my stuff is still at my mum's as I won't bring in more stuff till the existing absolute depressing mounds of carp are dealt with.

I am so impressed by people that can step back, recognise what's happening and taking steps. Your stories have been inspirational to me, I'm just sorry that JoJo had to have the horrible experiences that started the thread.

Blossom - I love the idea for the keys. Will need to try this soon

(((Hugs))) to everyone in need, we all need hugs sometimes

rising_from_the_ashes

blossomhill wrote: »

Can anyone find some keys in their house that they don't know what they belong to? In pots, on hooks, in drawers. Paraylsed with fear that if you get rid, you won't be able to open something?

Why not put them all on a ring with a key fob and label it "2012 Unknown".

That way you won't keep going back wondering what they are for, will know where to look when you find something you can't open, and won't pass that fear on to your offspring - they will be able to just ditch them when you are gone

:T Fantastic! Thanks (yup, I do have a load of odd keys lying around in a draw .... and at least one padlock that I can't find the key to, which is why I don't dare throw any away!)

I'm going to try to tackle the big storage box in my spare bedroom tomorrow and if I can, the drawers in one of my chest of drawers (no storage in this house, so loads of drawers are used for putting things other than clothes in!)

kiss_me_now9

blossomhill wrote: »

Too vague! Why not give yourself a measurable objective like;

widen goat track to 2 foot

or
remove 10 saleable items

or
reduce CDs so they will fit into a shoebox

or
reach the window

or
recognise that i am too emotionally involved with the contents and need to enlist help of friend to get it sorted (that one is ok too, better than shutting the door for another 5 years)

or
put all memorabilia into a clearly labelled box, with a date on it, mark a date on the calendar for when I am to go through it in detail

or put all clothes on hangers even if I can't yet fit them on the rail

You're totally right, got to 4pm and was putting it off and off so I grabbed a box full of paper (the little room contains almost solely craft stuff and things I've bought back from uni) and spent the evening sorting through it. Now we're one box down and all the complete and useful pieces have been put into a file folder for easy flick through and storage and I'll sort the other half of scrabbly bits out tomorrow. Two birds with one stone as I was looking for a use for all the folders I have accumulated from college, uni and school.

Now I'm faced with the dilemma though - Do I bin all my old German A level work? I've kept a bit of my college work because it's relevant to my degree and I'd like to show my kids the personal statement and how uni etc. was done when I'm older. The German stuff I can get on line or from textbooks; it's just worksheets. But 99% of me is going 'Oh, I will take German back up one day, it'd be useful to keep.'

Byatt

kiss_me_now9 wrote: »

You're totally right, got to 4pm and was putting it off and off so I grabbed a box full of paper (the little room contains almost solely craft stuff and things I've bought back from uni) and spent the evening sorting through it. Now we're one box down and all the complete and useful pieces have been put into a file folder for easy flick through and storage and I'll sort the other half of scrabbly bits out tomorrow. Two birds with one stone as I was looking for a use for all the folders I have accumulated from college, uni and school.

Now I'm faced with the dilemma though - Do I bin all my old German A level work? I've kept a bit of my college work because it's relevant to my degree and I'd like to show my kids the personal statement and how uni etc. was done when I'm older. The German stuff I can get on line or from textbooks; it's just worksheets. But 99% of me is going 'Oh, I will take German back up one day, it'd be useful to keep.'

Can you scan your work and put it on a CD? I lost all my Access course essays (not sure how), and wish I had them, because I went into HE in my 50's so seeing the progress I made was lovely. I do have all my uni essays and dissertation, but have got rid of the stuff relating to it, so it's in one medium size plastic box.

mollythewestie

One small step....

Went into a charity shop today and despite seeing several things I wanted to buy, I walked out empty handed.

Brighton_belle

well done Molly! And I have just offered on freecycle a lamp which was in the attic when I moved in ten yrs ago and I thought, ooh, that will be handy. It has survived various other culls on the same basis.
I have never used it.

wannabe_sybil

Probably a fallow week this week, but the important thing is to not bring stuff in.

Though off to get rid of some clothes to the recycle shop as I had to go to the dentist, still getting over the sedation and so I have a bus ticket! Most of it is bagged, just need to get the will to move now.

Hugs to all

Edited to add - completely failed to throw string out yesterday. I haven't used string in living memory, but throwing out was impossible. So I passed it on to my lovely neighbour who is a mechanic and who does use string.

Brighton_belle

Byatt wrote: »

Hi guys, been busy all day, so haven't read everyone's posts yet, just wanted to say I popped into a CS today and spotted some wooden things, a beautiful vase (with liner) and a fruit bowl. I love anything made of wood, but...I picked both pieces up, checked the price which was pretty reasonable, so...I put them back down and walked out...no buying! I allowed myself to look at something I love/like and did not want to own it instantly. Using GQ's technique of giving myself permission, helped enormously. I hope it continues. I sat in the car and thought, I could still go back and get them, but there was no urgent desire. Early days of course.

Need to acknowledge this:T:T:T And Byatt, you have been very appreciative of this forum: it is just as great to know I/we may have heped you a little bit, and you also contribute a lot too.

lostinrates wrote: »

You know, i went shopping this week too. First time for AGES in a nice place, and i bought two things It felt odd coming home without a haul having beento see nice things. But ok.

Just acknowledging this too:T:T:T. It's this that will underpin all future sucess I think, learning to not acquire in th first place.

blossomhill wrote: »

Learn to see it

Look for twins (or are you unwittingly harbouring triplets?)

Once I got strict about “a place for everything” I found 3 identical orange washing baskets (2 now freecycled) but no wonder “it” – the one basket I thought I had – seemed to be everywhere
!

So true - my goal is for everything to have a home so I know where everything is and this sort of thing doesn't happen. I want my life to be simple and I find clutter comlicates, overwhelms and inhibits my freedom to get on with both what I want to and space for new ideas.
I am slowly getting there. I think it would be fair to say I am not a classic hoarder, more of just gradually owning too much with out ever thinking about it. Over the last few years I have begun to be be more conscious about why I own what I own, and read alot of decluttering, life simplifying and minimalist blogs and have changed a lot. But I am still a work in progress and I certainly recognise a few horder traits.
I have also been gently and respectfully helping my DH who is a definite horder and I have seen him change too. It has to be at his pace though, I understand that.

Cheapskate

Afternoon everyone

Been reading the thread but seldom time to post; in a way it's good to know there are others having problems like me, and also so uplifting to see when people have good days or get to the end of their mess!

Things are really bad here (for me, maybe not in comparison with others), but there are so many times that I feel tired and depressed, so that when I try to crack on with it all, the whole thing is overwhelming. Intellectually, I know what to do, what to get rid of, and am desperate to do it, but there's so much to tackle that I frequently feel like sitting down and crying like a big girl's blouse amongst it all (and have done so before!). Some days I'd cheerfully take a flamethrower to the house!! :eek::rotfl: ...there now, I feel better already!

I don't have to work in my weekend job until August now, just working Thurs/Fri in my new job, so after today I'm aiming to fill at least one bin bag each for the tip and CS every day - trust me, it won't be difficult! Confession, I still have boxes of kitchen "stuff" in the garage from when we moved into this house 16 years ago! You think I need 'em? :rotfl::rotfl:

I know I have problems letting some things go, not everything though, so think there's a chance of redemption - think I'm a hoarder-in-the-making, not actually there yet!

Hope you all keep posting, I think this is good for all of us, however small- or large-scale the problems. Thank you, Jo-Jo, for starting this thread, I know Her problems dwarf the rest of us; you're a brick for sharing with us, and hope you've got something back for yourself. :grouphug:

A xo