Hoarding...not just on TV

Byatt

Yes, I learned about FB selling from MSE, so always good to mention.

Clothes seem to do well.

blossomhill_2

Brighton_belle wrote: »

One of the CS bags of clothes I need to get out of the house is definitely loitering as I know there is a couple of 'decent' things in there I feel I 'ought' to sell even though I don't believe in 'oughts and shoulds'. So they hang around, paralysing me...I have been through this so many times.

BB - you need to remove those two items from the bag and get the bulky bags away to the CS (could put the 2 into a carrier with a note on the calender for one months' time to make a decision about their future in your life)

I wish our local fB page was more active, I have posted several pics but there are only about 70 members. I did sell my 1st book on Green Metropolis this week, only made me 80p but I am more comfy with that than some c/shops

WW - warped comfort is a very true phrase, I will use it to reprimand myself with when I am dithering. Excellent post BTW

I have been thinking about storage - moveable storage, not warehouses

So often I (and I suspect many of us) decide on the storage before really assessing the problem
Daft example here, just to illustrate;

((Thinks)) hmmm, useful shoebox, what could I use it for? CDs? Books? yes books it's paperback size.
It then fits 9 books when we have 108, so we need many more shoeboxes. So we need 12 "solutions", instead of thinking "how many books do I have?" "108" "realistically I will get a few more before I can have a real sort out, so I need storage space for 120 books - that's about x metres of shelf - hmm, can I actually fit that many shelves in my house - maybe not, better declutter about a metre of the books then buy x-1 metres"

In one off my jobs I was preparing files to go to national archives - they would not take a single file from us until we had given them a firm calculation about how many feet of shelf space we would need - we couldn't say, because we were still assessing which files were of importance, and would have loved to send a first batch to give us space, but it didn't work like that.

I know in some ways this flies in the face of our "anti-perfectionism" slant, but I think batching stuff up in an imperfect way ( I sling like with like into those large plastic trugs) until we know how many we actually have to deal with is a good method, has been a help to me, as opposed to just putting books onto shelves where there is space. How often have you looked at an alcove and thought "we could have a shelf there" rather than wondering where you could fit a metre of books, and then deciding on the alcove?

whitewing

Interesting that about the amount of stuff first then the space. I always find a spot first and then force things to fit or overflow.

DH is going to the recycling centre today on his way back from getting the paper. This means all the supplements and the 150th Lidl xmas catalogue of the year can go straight there! (I am exaggerating about the Lidl catalogue).

Chucking out the old toilet seat. DH got a new one that has non-corrosive hinges. Also some old clothes that have shrunk (or are really the same same but DH has got chubbier; can't mention that as he's still too sensitive about his hair receding!)

Brighton_belle

blossomhill wrote: »

BB - you need to remove those two items from the bag and get the bulky bags away to the CS (could put the 2 into a carrier with a note on the calender for one months' time to make a decision about their future in your life)

Ach, you are so right, and I knew this principle already really but sometimes it helps for someone to remind me it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I think the other inhibitor is that DH is getting rid of suede coat I love but he never wears and I'm finding it hard to let that go...even though it is a minor miracle that he is getting rid of anything.
I have just rung charity bookshop to ask about possible collecton of 60+ books...they will ring me back when their book collecor is in.

Great to hear how things are changing for you Byatt:T

Had a friend visit yesterday who I haven't seen for 10 yrs. Showed her our bedroom and she commented how very organised it was:D. She was also slightly amazed that 80% of the clothes were DH's and only 20% mine:A

Brighton_belle

I've just looked up some Don Aslett books. They look really good (thanks for thetip GQ & GN), but what I really want is to buy one for my DH to read... 'Cept I know that is fatal - trying to make someone read something you want them to 'for their own good'.
Has anyone any sucess with converting an OH to decluttering through the power of reading something?

GreyQueen

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I've just looked up some Don Aslett books. They look really good (thanks for thetip GQ & GN), but what I really want is to buy one for my DH to read... 'Cept I know that is fatal - trying to make someone read something you want them to 'for their own good'.
Has anyone any sucess with converting an OH to decluttering through the power of reading something?

You may be able to find them in your library, BB. Mine has some of them.

He also has a book (written with his daughter) about how to get your house to do the housework, which is excellent. Sort-of designing the work out. Great for anyone with a project in mind.

I always used to sit and read a bit of Aslett when I felt my decluttering mojo slipping. One of the funniest (to me, anyway) was when he was itemising the kind of carp people keep in their linen cupboards and there was a line about a tea towel with parrots on it.

Hah, I sat up as if I'd been goosed! How the hell did he know I had one of those? It was totally-unused, having been a gift and a type of teatowel I don't favour. It was in the next c.s. donation bag, believe you me.

He's very acute and very funny without ever being cruel, and the cartoonists who illustrate his books are brilliant.

As to how to get a spouse to declutter, he points out that you can't, you can only lead by example and they'll come aboard or they won't, according to their feelings. You don't want to be in the position of laying down ultimatums of either that goes or I go unless things are so bad you're willing to make good on them.

I'd just read the book yourself, hooting with laughter from time to time, and leave it lying around where he can have a peek. Curiousity about what's so entertaining might get him to read a bit whereas implying he's a clutterbug will cause hackles to rise and resistance to set in.

Brighton_belle

GreyQueen wrote: »

You may be able to find them in your library, BB. Mine has some of them.
Great idea - off to check online now.
As to how to get a spouse to declutter, he points out that you can't, you can only lead by example and they'll come aboard or they won't, according to their feelings. You don't want to be in the position of laying down ultimatums of either that goes or I go unless things are so bad you're willing to make good on them.
Yup, that has always been my principle: supportive, understanding, calmly expressing the effect too much clutter has on me and then leaving the subject be and just continue to quietly lead by example. I always would want to treat anyone how I want to be treated and I know there are things I find difficult to get rid of and would hate to be constantly 'got at' so I understand it just with more things for him.
And it has had some affect...it's just I'm dog tired at the mo and feel a little boost of 'speeding up the v.e.r.y.s.l.o.w. process' would be good.:D

I'd just read the book yourself, hooting with laughter from time to time, and leave it lying around where he can have a peek. Curiousity about what's so entertaining might get him to read a bit whereas implying he's a clutterbug will cause hackles to rise and resistance to set in.

Yes, think I'll try and get it from the library and do the leaving around thing. Too late to 'avoid suggesting he's a clutterbug'...I've called a spade a spade:D. I just time my moments when he's in the right mood to hear it.

Gingernutty

I've just been to the [STRIKE]dump[/STRIKE], sorry, recycling centre with some television cable and the busted ionizer from my bedroom.

The grim little table it was sitting on is in pieces and is going on bin day.

I decided on the bus journey back to get rid of some of the stuff that I've been wrangling over.

The professionally framed, cross stitch picture of the naked lady a la Picasso can go (too many mistakes for me to cringe at)

the Snoopy picture can go (even though it was a gift, I simply don't like it)

the little plastic Sunshine Buddy which nods when it's sunny can go (same thing, gift, but useless)

the expensively framed zebra stripe patterned latch hook rug can go (where, oh where, would I have put that?).

and a big, cheap looking clip frame can go.

I really am starting to feel sorry for the CS round here - the dross I've landed on them is laughable...................:o

Brighton_belle

Byatt wrote: »

BB, just take some time out if needed and do a tiny bit, say 10 minutes. Like we've often said, but I think it needs reminding for all of us, just 5-10 minutes is better than nothing, and often you tend to do more.

Just forced myself to do 10 mins and it turned into nearly an hour in the end:

• sorted through all the books and packed them up ready to go - 76 of them (was 78 but rescud 2).
• Checked bin bags of clothes, took out one and rest ready to go - latest plan is to ask DH to take them to c.s. tomorrow as I am finding it too difficult and he won't (as it is all my stuff bar 1 jacket he has let go of)
• Collected up 3-4 medium sized things in dumping area I keep skirting round as I don't know what to do with them - not suitable for CS but hasn't felt right to dump. However, I can't face the hassle of freecycle (which I nearly always do) so I actually bagged them up for the bin... the bag isn't in the bin yet, but just that action makes me feel better. I hope I can bin them tomorrow.
• I've taken a child's pair of trousers round the neighbourhood that landed in our garden 2 weeks ago after a night of strong winds. Coudn't find the owners but someone has taken them off my hands and out of our house:D
• Kitchen bin emptied into communal bin. And I have researched computer apps that limit online time.

So I feel I have 'got things done' and can slack again for a bit.

blossomhill_2

Well I WAS off to a good start today - usually have an awful day after bonfire night due to poor air quality and have to stay indoors but luckily rain damped it all down ... hemmed some curtains and hung them by 10am (had been defeating me because the guy had given me a small width of a long drop instead of what I asked for, but cut it up and hemmed it all and it's ok now - had it too long to take back)

Then bagged up some stuff that a friend is collecting tomorrow (and added in offcuts of the new curtains as she does needlework)

Bagged up 2nd lot of stuff for another friend to also collect tomorrow

- living room looked ok, tidy etc ... but I decided to clear the dresser completely and move most of the clutter up to join similar things upstairs. Had it stacked up the middle of the stairs ready to go ... doorbell went ... one of tomorrow's friends was passing and decided to call today - I restrained myself from saying "but I was tidy yesterday and will be tomorrow" but I think my smile was a little fake!
DETERMINED never to get caught out again!