Hoarding...not just on TV

VJsmum

I have finally done DS room - as he is back tomorrow time was running out.

Sorted through clothes but only 1 pair of jeans and a couple of pairs of shorts are too small, a couple of belts have gone in the CS bag as he seems to have loads

Quite a few books have gone - all the HOrrid Henrys, some very old encyclopaedias, Dilly the dinosaur (the boy is 13!!) and his ilk. If I asked DS he would want to keep them so I'm not asking!:D Have kept some of the baby "train" type books as I think he would be upset to lose them.

Also went through some plastic toy drawers he had and got rid of broken matchbox cars and old trains and lots of old stationery / colouring stuff.

DD's room is a different matter altogether - I loathe and detest her room. I went in with the hoover and put everything on her (double) bed that was on the floor so that I could hoover. Told her that if she wanted to sleep in it tonight she'd better clear it. THere were more carrier bags than I care to mention, she won't throw them if they contained something special. I.e. if we buy her some perfume - she keeps the nice bag it came in and the box and the empty bottle when she's used it all. We went on the Harry Potter studio tour, she bought a chocolate frog in the gift shop - ate the frog (cos I insisted - it was £12!! :eek:) has kept the empty box and the carrier bag, because it has HP on it. I am actually now in the position where i don't want to buy her anything - and told her so. I found a mixing bowl in there that I lost about 4 months ago!

Anyway, she did go and clear the bed and came down with a small bag of rubbish so there is some progress.

blossomhill_2

Picklepot How are things with you today?

365days

Oh the shame! As i mentioned I am slowly selling stuff on fb. Someone came to collect two things tonight and I could only find one. Very embarrassing. I had it out to photograph in the last two days, so knew it couldnt be far. Ended up giving her the other item for free and said she could come back if i found the other. 10 minutes of frantic drawer opening and cupboard emptying i found it. She came back and paid for both but how embarrassing.:o

Positive side; two things out and a couple of coins for the terramundi!

Patchwork_Quilt

Very quickly as dinner is imminent ...

DS and DH have been at it again today. DS put the other set of 1KEA drawers together for the cubes that hold all our study rubbish so another box has gone. DH is putting an amp together that he took apart to fix months ago. I thought I was going to have to ask him to bin it. He hung up all the guitars he had hangers for in the new study and did something to the curtain rail. Then (turn away JoJo) he put a guitar in the charity shop pile! I was astonished! In fact, rather like the suede coat above, I was trying to get him to keep it. However, it's his guitar and his decision. We took it down along with the other two enormous bags. (I wish I'd kept a track of how many we're up to). Then, he went into the loft with some of DS's empty boxes.

So, perhaps there is hope for those who have a reluctant OH. I think it just takes a lot to get them moving. Like pushing a stone uphill. We're all like that in some ways. The trouble is that once they're off down the other side, they're unstoppable.

Anyway, good luck with the decluttering chaps. Off to carve a chicken and hack some baked potatoes in half.

alec_eiffel

Brighton_belle wrote: »

^^^^this Picklepot, and the rest of Blossomhill's great post.
Yes your house is probably making you ill. Such great insight is a great step towards doing something about it

I rarely sell anything on ebay as I find the stress vs the relief of just getting things out of the house isn't worth it.

One of the CS bags of clothes I need to get out of the house is definitely loitering as I know there is a couple of 'decent' things in there I feel I 'ought' to sell even though I don't believe in 'oughts and shoulds'.
So they hang around, paralysing me...I have been through this so many times. The moment they are out the house I will feel better and after a few days at most I will never think about them again.

I have sent cart loads to the charity shop over the last 2 years and because I sign up to the tax payers thingy, they are obliged by law to write to me every so often as to how much they have made form my stuff. It totals under £100; removing the excess carp from my life is well worth 'losing' that small sum (and we are not well off) and is a great way of charity giving/helping others in our community.

Your health is precious and worth the (say)£500 max you might make from 'stuff'? If there are some biggies you just can't just 'give away' yet, leave them til later. Get rid of the small stuff first.

I agree with this. I know that for some people it's important to make some money from things because it seems like defeat or whatever to just let things go. But for me it adds to the stress, especially if it's something that we know we have to get rid of but could easily talk ourselves out of it. When I decide that something has to go, it needs to go now and it's good enough for me that a charity can make money from it than I could have a few quid for myself. What am I going to do with the money? Reward myself because I was good and got rid of something by buying something else..? I'm a Dave Ramsey girl and if I spent a lot of money on something that I now want to get rid of without using it much then that's "stupid tax" and to try to recoup some cash to make myself feel better doesn't make it any better! Sometimes learning the lesson to not do it again is enough, iyswim.

I agree with blossomhill about dealing with storage last. It's really easy to shop of look for "solutions" but as soon as we define an area, a box, a shelf or whatever then it's ok to fill it so we can keep more stuff than we might if we just gave ourselves free range to get rid of anything we want to. When you're so used to "stuff" it's hard to think when you see an alcove, for example, that it can just be space rather than somewhere to put something. I think it's all about not defining things before they need to be.

Hope that makes sense, I'm really tired!

lostinrates

Not keeping up ATM. Puppy keeping us busy, and chores here. Have found dh trying to purchase new Richard which caused some discussion.

I spent ages washing dog stuff this weekend, bedding, towels etc...only for it to be grimly filthy within twenty four hours. .

I rarely get very down, but I have to say, I feel it ATM. I am not ready to cope with the onslaught of winter and the never ending mud.

Mistral001

alec_eiffel wrote: »

I agree with blossomhill about dealing with storage last. It's really easy to shop of look for "solutions" but as soon as we define an area, a box, a shelf or whatever then it's ok to fill it so we can keep more stuff than we might if we just gave ourselves free range to get rid of anything we want to. When you're so used to "stuff" it's hard to think when you see an alcove, for example, that it can just be space rather than somewhere to put something. I think it's all about not defining things before they need to be.

Hope that makes sense, I'm really tired!

I am not sure if this is very relevant, but when I start to get rid of some things, I start from the outside and work in.

What I mean is if I decide that there is too much stuff in the living room, I clean up say a storeroom or outhouse first. I usually find that there are lots of things that I can throw out from the storeroom or garage. Thus I usually end up throwing stuff out from the storerooms as well as the living room and I do not have to worry about having somewhere to keep that object which I want to move from the sitting room but cannot bear to part with it just at the moment. I have found that the extra effort to tidy the storerooms first is well worthwhile.

Brighton_belle

Mistral001 wrote: »

I am not sure if this is very relevant, but when I start to get rid of some things, I start from the outside and work in.

That puts a new perspective on what has happened with our attic: I massively cleared in few years ago but now it is as bad as ever. I now realise, that it was as well as I cleared it, because we have needed it to became a good holding place for the combining of our two households and stuff I need time to sort/let go of but I dont want to overwhelm our day to day life.

katep23

What a lot of astute and perceptive posts - you lot really are wonderful and supportive in sharing your thoughts / feelings / experiences.

I agree with the theme of getting it out of the house regardless - this is something I have struggled with as I feel I should try and recoup some of the "value" of things but have admitted that I would rather a charity shop makes some money than I have things hanging around, tempting me to change my mind!

LIR, hope you feel better able to cope soon.

Had a lovely weekend and feel positive and optimistic about things here. We faced up to a lot of things and I realised how disconnected I have become from life in general.

I think this really links into my hoarding, it has become an interest / hobby in and of itself so I need to address my life and take control of it instead of being a passenger, just waiting for something to happen or change.

Things aren't going to make me contented, I need to find that within myself.

VJsmum

Last week I decluttered, cleaned and tidied my bedroom.

I cannot describe the pleasure I now get by just walking into it.

I understand the concept that additional storage is not the solution generally, but in DS's room he has a basket of cuddly toys he will not get rid of - not even a few. I have decluttered a keyboard from his room that he doesn't play and is used to plonk stuff on (I am thinking of offering it to in-laws kids for christmas - otherwise it is going in the loft for now) and in that space I can put in a wooden chest for toys which I will then stand his dart board on. Said dartboard is currently in the lounge! I can also move his guitar and amp up there too, also out of the lounge so something of a result.

I never thought I was a hoarder and, mostly, I am not but this thread has enlightened me no end as to my motives for keeping things.

Thank you