Hoarding...not just on TV

whitewing

thriftwizard, that is the kind of makeover I dream of! It's lovely.

I did watch The Removal Men (or whatever it was called last night), and that has made me more determined than ever not to hoard anything. Not just the hoarding lady, but all of them paid a fortune to move, and probably there were things in the boxes they weren't that bothered about. And the stress of getting it all packed up.

So, there is another dehoarding question: would I really want this if I had to pack it up, drive 200 miles to a new house and unpack it again?

You can pretty much guarantee that if you're moving house, there's going to be other important stuff going on in your life too, and a lot of emotion, so you won't get the chance to do much decluttering as you go along.

My DH always has said if we win the lottery, we will move and have entirely new (to us) furniture and fittings. I didn't really understand where he was coming from with that, but I do now because we don't live in anything resembling a forever home. I am starting to get him when he talks about 'standards' (which makes him sound pompous and he really isn't).

alec_eiffel

whitewing wrote: »

thriftwizard, that is the kind of makeover I dream of! It's lovely.

I did watch The Removal Men (or whatever it was called last night), and that has made me more determined than ever not to hoard anything. Not just the hoarding lady, but all of them paid a fortune to move, and probably there were things in the boxes they weren't that bothered about. And the stress of getting it all packed up.

So, there is another dehoarding question: would I really want this if I had to pack it up, drive 200 miles to a new house and unpack it again?

You can pretty much guarantee that if you're moving house, there's going to be other important stuff going on in your life too, and a lot of emotion, so you won't get the chance to do much decluttering as you go along.

My DH always has said if we win the lottery, we will move and have entirely new (to us) furniture and fittings. I didn't really understand where he was coming from with that, but I do now because we don't live in anything resembling a forever home. I am starting to get him when he talks about 'standards' (which makes him sound pompous and he really isn't).

There is something very freeing about moving house and starting with a blank room. We moved from a big Edwardian terrace to a small 1960's house. We ditched a lot of stuff. Pretty much everything decorative and the only furniture we brought with us was a sideboard, bed, 2 bookcases, 2 bedside cabinets, one sofa, tv unit and the dining table and chairs. Which looks like a lot when I write it down. But in the old place we had two dining areas and two "reception rooms" so there was a lot of furniture. And we now live in a 3 bed not a two bed.

To move to a place that wasn't only in a new area but was a totally different type of house was fantastic. The things we brought with us looked so different (some so much they had to be painted because they just looked wrong) and other things took on a new lease of life. A real eye opener. Everything in our bedroom is new for this house and it's so nice to have a room where all the memories are of this place, there's no old house hangover.

Even though we got rid of a ton of stuff before we moved I wouldn't have wanted to pack it myself. I am still in love with the removal guys that did everything for us, best money spent ever!

idristhedragon

Morning all
Elona- Fab news :j, Thriftwizard- fab makeover well done:D
Doggy people- sorry about the leg break - how sad- I hope shes ok, and the story about skidding in the water bowl acually made me LOL- sorry but I can totally relate seeing as I am typing this with a greyhound wrapped around my left arm having his back scratched!!

I am really enjoying having a more decluttered house, I feel I can actually sit down and relax without feeling constantly stressed/vaguely guilty.
I too feel bad about sometimes coming on here and being me me me but I am reading and think of everybody every day- this thread is such a support and inspiration- i LOVE it.

Well its the start of half term today so I have various be-pyjamaed children draped around the front room, two teenagers asleep in the attic (loft conversion, not just randomly in the attic- although I regularly feel like locking her SOMEWHERE!:p)
I also have PAINTERS. OH MY DAYS the MESSIEST painters ever. my hallway is shrouded in dust sheets, ladders, and he has dumped thermos flask, cup, fags, keys on worktop. Pots of paint all over kitchen, hoodies, coats, hold all, ladders...........
!!!!!!. I have reacted by cooking :rotfl: my default diversion activity so we now have a chicken curry in the slow cooker, banana loaf and marble muffins in the oven.

Todays mission is The Clothes Mountain. I have realised that all the clothes hanging in the wardrobe/folded in the drawers are the ones I DONT wear. The ones I wear are in the washing baskets system (ie: all my in circulation clothes in 3 washing baskets in bedroom- they drive Le Prof to INSANITY) in the dirty washing, or hanging around in another fri*ging basket waiting to be folded. I am going up there in a min with a bag for le olde charidee shoppe, a pile for ebay that WILL BE PUT ON TODAY, and I will be RUTHLESS. As others mentioned I too have bits that keep escaping the cull and living to see another season in a drawer/on a hanger/hanging around! Yesterday I pre-emptively went out and bought 3 new pairs of ballet pump type shoes, new tights, new knickers and bras and a nice cardy. This should make me finally be able to part with the singular ballet pumps that have long lost their partners (I think theyve eloped with the odd socks.......) and scabby knickers. There is NO excuse for some of the knickers that are being given drawer room. Really.

Also JoJo I am feeling inspired to tackle the cosmetics too. They are over running my life and feel VERY cluttery. I have had great sucess in the past on ebay with nail varnishes.

I also started painting the bathroom yesterday :rotfl:quite possibly an if you cant beat them join them reaction to the real painters in my house? Anyway its amazing how far you can get with a little tester pot I now need to source some lime green curtains to match the new colour (Dulux Proud Peacock if anyone cares enough to look it up) - the majority of the bathroom is white tiles so it shouldnt be *too* swamplike!

Byatt

Ohhhhh Thrift, it's gorgeous! I love it.

I've had a mostly unproductive week decluttering wise, and can't believe it's Thursday already! I have to go for an eye check shortly which involves putting drops in my eyes to enlarge the pupil ready for pics to be taken. It's not pleasant and stings plus the light then hurts my eyes, so on a grey, drizzly day I will be wearing sunglasses!

Because I've been laid low with what I think is the beginning of SAD, I need to haul my lamp out and start using it. I thought I was going to be OK as I'm usually hit with it in September, so should be grateful I've lasted this long.

Have managed to do some paperwork stuff and some adjustments to my contracts for my little business, but otherwise it's been a duvet and Jack Reacher day, most days.

edit, Idris, you have just described my clothing to a T!! I am now inspired to cull what's lurking in the wardrobe. Thank you for that wonderful insight!

I have also come to a decision, just this minute regarding all the lotions and potions I have cluttering up the place and for which I have no room, have had for years. I was going to keep them and use them for, I don't know, washing or as substiute soaps, but it is upsetting me seeing them hanging about, albeit in baskets, which I have to move to get to something else. Sooooooooo, they are going, I HAVE decided. Phew, what a relief. :cool:

I have only "regretted" one thing I have CS'd, and that's my mixing bowl. In a rash decision I got rid of the final one and now realise I need one! Oh well, pleanty about in the Cs's.

blossomhill_2

Well I have mixed feelings about my recent decluttering - I went on the net today to find a pattern to make Old Cat a bed with some sort of draughtproof back - (she has taken to scrabbling hers apart to see if I have put the hot water bottle in yet - yes she's a torti!) only to find people have made them out of old style suitcases (binned about 6 in last month!) and old jumpers with arms stuffed and sewn together (clothes per kilo yesterday) ! Grrr!

I managed to think "oh well, new ones are only £6 in The Works", so got one this am and Old Cat is now studiously ignoring it

idris' phrase "more decluttered house" made me wonder about the stages of clutter/hoarding

Dear Richard
extreme hoarding
hoarding
cluttered
aspirational decluttered
less decluttered
more decluttered
decluttered
clutter-free
homely
practical
minimal
OCD

Any advance?

Byatt, perhaps you need to decide "that wasn't the perfect mixing bowl" and you need to buy the perfect one

I am down to some quite specific hoards now and wondered if anyone else is and fancies declaring them - no blame, no advice, just for the record - I have

curtain hoard - awaiting a family member's house move then will cull
craft stock - waiting to see where this new craft meet leads me
cuttings from plants - I say doing these keeps me sane but it may be my insantity
seasonal veg - donated marrows, own apples, pumpkins, artichokes, all in kitchen being tripped over
piles of branches/roof tiles/old basketware etc - waiting for me to create/add to wildlife garden
tools - waiting for the big sort out/setting up workshop
seeds - addict

idristhedragon

Byatt I too have cosmetics in baskets all over the place. They will also be used "eventually" . Or Not. I feel guilty about the expense, as most were bought during my buying to feel better, fill that heart hole or whereever the hole is, and just shoved in amongst the other stuff I dont actually love.

My cowhide rug to me represents the turning point. It cost me £200. To me that is a lot of money and I wanted one for AGES. Now I have one I sweep it EVERY day where it lives, pride of place in my front room. In turn that has made me look after the whole front room better as the rug doesnt want to be sad and clean on its own!This has had a knockon effect on the rest of the house. HUGE turning point this morning- a colleague dropped round some books for work for me and I actually felt able to invite her in for a cuppa DESPITE the painters and their chaos. I also recently went to a mum at nursery's for a cuppa and I was OVER THE MOON to see that she had STUFF on her worktops, pots in her sink and an untidy desk. It boils back down to that perfection thing, self esteem, and not being "good enough". However I live in the Boden Belt and a lot of the homes round here are like show homes- all complete with cleaners, ironers, nannies etc. So I have spent the last 6 years feeling wholly inadequate and comparing myself to everyone else!

alec_eiffel

Hi Blossomhill,

I think I see the hoard/clutter more as a symptom of a mental issue rather than a stage thing is that makes sense. So as I dealt with the issues then the clutter was of course going to go because when the problems (real or perceived) disappeared then the purpose for the stuff just went away.

Someone mentioned the method of breaking down the wall of stuff the other week and spoke of using a sledgehammer to smash it down or a teaspoon to dig out. I was a teaspoon person. I had to deal with each thing (mental) along with each thing (physical) as I wouldn't let myself be stopped because I'd stumbled across a particularly difficult pile of stuff. I had to deal with the emotion and the reasons as it wouldn't have been possible/easy to get to the point where the house was clear. Putting things aside to deal with later was too much as it meant that the things I'd already decided were the most important things would be given even more emphasis whereas dealing with lost friendships, relationships now gone, death and other loss right alongside old pop bottles and bags of fur just evened everything out because, for me, it was all the same thing.

When I'd done that I still had to work through my chronic disorganisation, but that's all to do with just finding a way that works so isn't a problem it just takes time.

I've said before that my hoarding was all about having a voice and a purpose, I was the holder of memories and the person who always had a list of who was where, gig setlists, who ate what and what time things happened. That spread to just needing a reminder of anything so everything could be kept - old packaging, bottles, clothes, pet stuff, tickets... all that and more. I don't think I'd have a problem with having a collection now because I believe I'd be able to stick to a space budget and I know that my house isn't a museum and it's not my job to save everything.

alec_eiffel

idristhedragon wrote: »

Byatt I too have cosmetics in baskets all over the place. They will also be used "eventually" . Or Not. I feel guilty about the expense, as most were bought during my buying to feel better, fill that heart hole or whereever the hole is, and just shoved in amongst the other stuff I dont actually love.

My cowhide rug to me represents the turning point. It cost me £200. To me that is a lot of money and I wanted one for AGES. Now I have one I sweep it EVERY day where it lives, pride of place in my front room. In turn that has made me look after the whole front room better as the rug doesnt want to be sad and clean on its own!This has had a knockon effect on the rest of the house. HUGE turning point this morning- a colleague dropped round some books for work for me and I actually felt able to invite her in for a cuppa DESPITE the painters and their chaos. I also recently went to a mum at nursery's for a cuppa and I was OVER THE MOON to see that she had STUFF on her worktops, pots in her sink and an untidy desk. It boils back down to that perfection thing, self esteem, and not being "good enough". However I live in the Boden Belt and a lot of the homes round here are like show homes- all complete with cleaners, ironers, nannies etc. So I have spent the last 6 years feeling wholly inadequate and comparing myself to everyone else!

Love this post!

How you feel about your rug is what I mean when I say about certain areas being immunised against the mess. It's just a happy thing isn't it.

idristhedragon

It also helped that we recently put our house on the market and I posted the rightmove link on fb. Cue loads of posts from people saying "OMG Jealous" "Your house is GORGEOUS" "Will you take £20?" etc.
Granted we spent about a month cleaning before the photos were taken, and 3 BIG boxes of clutter were (still are) shipped out to inlaws, my car (7 seater with roofbox) and our campervan were FULL of STUFF to make the house acceptable for the EA pics. In fact the roofboxon my car is STILL full of coats- they therefore need dericharding STAT. I also had a real DEEP thing that if I split up with Prof he would kick me out of the house, so I never wanted to get too attached. This stems from my feeling of being "Jenny From the Block" when we met- I was a young single mum on a council estate, he was 13 years older, with a decent job, a LOVELY house (not this one- we sold that to buy this one that we both "chose") and he has always financially provided. However I am starting to feel that after coming up for 13 years, 9 married, and 3 kids together neither of us is going anywhere, and anyway, why should I leave the house should anything ever happen??? I guess this all stems from my parents splitting up and my Dad ending up in a bedsit (hes still vocal about this now- 27 years later), and then my mum eventually losing the family home after the demise of her second long term relationship after my dad.
Blige!!! that was a bit deep. Thats another thing I love about this thread- it can suddenly drag deep dark self awareness out of you despite being a seeminglyt innoculus conversation about dogs, houses, paint and rugs!

Byatt

My hoarding comes from constantly having to start again, this goes back to childhood when parents moved just for the sake of it, every 2 years on average. Friends disappeared, family disappeared, so nothing is stable or secure. The end of my marriage and loss of home was the final straw. Loss of identity too, I had no idea who I really was, as had to reinvent myself each time a move came about. We either lived in houses that were squalid/slum like or in middle class areas. There was also a lot of secrecy and lying by parents. We did a moonlit flit at least once when I was 10. Lived in places we weren't supposed to live in. I became very attached to "things" as they seemed the only constant. So much so I used to carry an old satchel around at school and wouldn't part from it, someone tried to take it from me and I was hysterical. I took it everywhere. It seemed "normal", and writing it down makes me realise, it was not "normal" at all, albeit my "normal."