Hoarding...not just on TV

Jettycat

Jo_anne wrote: »

I think you've hit the nail on the head for me there. I've been thinking part of my trouble is if I can't do something properly I can't do it at all. A bit of perfectionism combined with OCD perhaps?

I threw out some utility bills from 2005 last night. Go me! :rotfl:

I'm being really ruthless with the papers. Tax stuff from before 2005 is going, other stuff from before 2010! I have nearly finished cabinet one and there is less than two drawers of stuff left to keep. The shredding and chucking pile seems to be stuck at two feet high ... I shred as much as I can before the shredder overheats, but then add more. So far I have six (yes six!!) bin bags full of paper/shreddings to go out :T:T:T

VJsmum wrote: »

I've just been through some household files and pension / endowment annual statements. Surely I only need to keep the latest of these? I don't really need to be reminded that our endowments have had a shortfall since 2003? Same with household insurance - only this years is relevant?

I have finally come to that conclusion too. I don't know why I thought I needed every statement and circular sent by these companies or every bill I have ever paid ...

I'm feeling quite "light" now it is going. x

rachbc

Ok I'm not a hoard but nautre - in fact I probably give away stuff that would be useful at a later point and end up buying more!!

Yesterday I treated myself to some lovely new denby plates with a unexpected windfall. I now have a 6 person plain white dinner set 'spare'. I already have another bone china set for best/ when we have more people over. My son will be leaving home in a few years (hopefully off to uni) - the dilema - do I keep them for him stashed away in the loft possible to be forgotten foreveror take em of to the CS?

lostinrates

Re the insurmountable list, as you all know I have chronic health issues (feeling much better this week!) and there are some days when even brushing my teeth seems impossible.

I am a HUGE fane of lists. Not on the computer, in pen or pencil and paper, or on a white board or blackboard, Depending on lifestyle. When I was stuck at home all the time, or if the list is for more than one person, then board is the way to go. If mobile, reporters pad and pen/pencil.

No matter how sick I am I find I can do ten things. Even if they are ten things I could not not do iyswim....

So take pills, brush teeth (am and pm) have a cup of tea am, do litter tray, feed dogs...so on. The bare minimum.

On better days I can do twenty things and teeth etc aren't on the list as they need no help on rough days iyswim, they just get done.

The satisfying crossing out of the attained and completed is wonderful.


So much so I am definitely having a black board wall in the kitchen. In a house where there are three adults it should be that if one sees that, for example, feed dogs, has not been done, they can do it and cross it out.

I used meal plan on the white board too, and obviously not rub that bit out daily. It's sounds a faff, but it's not really, five/ten minutes listing gave me hours back in the day.

So that makes me sound good right? So confession time.

I have added to the hoard. I put a deposit on a puppy yesterday.

whitewing

Whiteboard task lists work for us too, but we go through phases of using it or not. DH is good at drawing so if he draws one of DD's cuddly toys on it, it can render it unwipeoffable for days!

Yesterday my heart sank when I went in the kitchen. I honestly thought it was going to take an hour to clear up, and it took me four minutes. That was a huge surprise.

Today, I had a work order to unpack. As I have kept up together with the house work, I could unpack it straight away without having to plan it. So it was done in the time it normally takes to get started.

DH can be a saboteur. I sent him to buy a hard drive for scanning. So he finds a bargain in Tesco and doesn't buy it because he thought it was £30 cheaper in the local computer shop.. He got muddled with prices. So rather than phone me and check, he doesn't get it. (Having already not bought it on Sunday when he went into town). Then he tells me he's done all his chores. So later when I ask where it is, he says he didn't buy it. The day I could have spent scanning has gone as I have other stuff scheduled for the rest of the week. It used to be that this kind of scenario was a 'sign' to me that I shouldn't do the job after all. Now I just see it as a blip and don't get cross, just do it when I can.

wannabe_sybil

lostinrates wrote: »

I have added to the hoard. I put a deposit on a puppy yesterday.

I am sure that the little sweetheart will return the favour.

VJsmum wrote: »

I have thrown away a box of tea bags that are a blend of greena nd black tea. I bought it years ago and it is minging. I have been drinking the odd cup occasionally to get the stash down, but it really is revolting.

Yesterday I admitted it had been a mistake to buy them and they went.

Not a huge amount to declutter but quite a big hurdle jumped

Thank you.

This is such a big thing, admitting that I made a mistake. With my mother I never felt I was allowed a mistake, I always needed to be perfect, like she was perfect. Except with hindsight, she was far, far from perfect.

hugs to all, hellos to new friends, trying to get the energy up to get moving.

Trying a new housewifery idea. I am using a google calendar and assigning tasks to each day plus a daily list. It is a work in progress and has had some blips but I am off to deep clean the bathroom because according to my list that happens every Thursday. I'm trying to use it to balance out different days and tasks and spread out the load. Some things, like cleaning cupboards, are put on a four week rotation, some on a weekly rotation, like cleaning out the fridge. I keep adding bits as I go along and I hope that eventually it will not need much effort. Although now I am clearing loads out, there will be a little less each time. I'll let you know if it ever works.

Little bear has an inset day tomorrow. On Monday when he was off I got a load done. Fingers crossed that I get as much done tomorrow!

rachbc - can you start a list of 'stash for uni' and put it all in a designated space? That might help. It is a shame to get rid and then buy again. Mind you, that is the hoarder speaking...

wannabe_sybil

whitewing wrote: »

DH can be a saboteur. I sent him to buy a hard drive for scanning. So he finds a bargain in Tesco and doesn't buy it because he thought it was £30 cheaper in the local computer shop.. He got muddled with prices. So rather than phone me and check, he doesn't get it. (Having already not bought it on Sunday when he went into town). Then he tells me he's done all his chores. So later when I ask where it is, he says he didn't buy it. The day I could have spent scanning has gone as I have other stuff scheduled for the rest of the week. It used to be that this kind of scenario was a 'sign' to me that I shouldn't do the job after all. Now I just see it as a blip and don't get cross, just do it when I can.

OH does this a lot, and sometimes I don't know how he doesn't know that it is making life harder for me.

lostinrates

Haha, so am I wannabe Sybil! That prediction did not require A prophet to foretell it!

I_want_a_baby

Just wanted to say a huge thankyou for this thread to every single one of you!! I am not often moved by something I read but this has really triggered something in me.

I think perhaps it is the fact that rather than this just being a 'I threw X number of things away today' thread, it also a way of trying to find out why we keep things, why we become emotionally attached to things and how to change.

On the face of it I should be really happy as a SAHM but my house is really starting to get me down. I posted on my diary in MFW that I had a LBM and realised that I was living a poorer life than we actually needed to. We have over the years scrimped and saved to pay off debts and save for a deposit and now we are buying a house and we will have spare money each month. Yet I have struggled to loosen the purse strings and relax a little about things.

An example being I recently spent £60+ on approved foods buying bargain foods which we didn't particularly enjoy eating too much but we did so as they were cheap when half of it wasn't essential really and yet I longed to buy some nice smelling laundry liquid as we always use cheap stuff that doesn't smell and I wouldn't allow myself as 'we couldn't afford it'. Looking at it on paper it is obvious to just not shop at approved foods, buy the few choice luxury items that REALLY make me happy and save the £50+!! It took me a long time to realise this!

One thing that has really helped me to concentrate my mind is to work out what the sentimental/monetary value on my 'clutter' was.
For example a prized item from my grandparents has huge value and brings back many memories - this should be displayed proudly and clearly and not surrounded clutter. Whereas various old paper plates/cups that will be kept for the next party in a huge bag would cost as little as £2 to replace so are not worth the space to keep them.

I have realised also that the less 'stuff' I have the easier and quicker it is to clean and keep tidy - another obvious point but yet one that I didn't think about - why keep beating myself up over the fact that my house is a mess and I can never get it even remotely clean or tidy when there is so much stuff everywhere. Now every time I fill a bag for the bin/charity shop/clothes recycling/sell etc even if I have a doubt about whether it should go I feel better knowing that this is helping me achieve the home I want.

I am also awful at keeping things that I think I should keep because of the money spent on them - things such as healthy foods bought 'to be healthy' yet I don't actually like them very much (duh!), shoes that give me blisters, clothes that didn't fit right, spur of the moment house purchases that don't match anything or wasn't as expected when arrived...I could go on. I am working hard at breaking my emotional attachment to these things and letting them go to improve my sanity & state of the house!

Anyway that is enough of me going on - I really look forward to reading all the posts to come and I might go back and read some older ones too.

We are currently preparing to move into a smaller mortgaged house from our larger rented one - I know this move will help to give me the security and feeling of home that I crave and I also know I MUST deal with the 'stuff' now as if there is no space here we will have no hope there!!

Happy, happy decluttering people - onwards & upwards - Imagine how lovely our homes will look in the new year if we keep this up until then

Stacey x

valk_scot

rachbc wrote: »

Yesterday I treated myself to some lovely new denby plates with a unexpected windfall. I now have a 6 person plain white dinner set 'spare'. I already have another bone china set for best/ when we have more people over. My son will be leaving home in a few years (hopefully off to uni) - the dilema - do I keep them for him stashed away in the loft possible to be forgotten foreveror take em of to the CS?

My DS will be off to uni in two or three years, eek. I've already got a box set aside in the attic for stuff for him like a set of Jamie Oliver pans I got at 90% off, a pair of casserole dishes, the set of cutlery I replaced lately. I'm not going overboard on keeping things for him but a dinner set would definately be worth putting in the box, I think. They'll need crockery and a dinner service is a big buy. On the other hand I'm not saving every scabby old chipped mug in the box, I'm sure I'll find him some nice ones really cheaply over the next couple of years.

So my advice is to do what I've done, have a proper box set aside just for DS and a mental shopping list of what you'll have to produce when he goes away. Then your dinner service won't get lost, it will have a place and a definate purpose. That's not hoarding, that's being practical.

alec_eiffel

Hi Stacey,

Your story rang a bell with me although it was post hoarding. I tackled the hoard as we paid off our debts and the house emerging and the debt going happened at around the same time. The mentality was very similar for me and for a very long time afterwards, well if I'm honest it's still here a little bit now, I do have difficulty with buying what I actually want rather than the thing that will just "do".

It's a weird situation because I thought having a lovely house and having no debt would be like a new beginning. And although there was a lot of freedom in going through the process there has been a very long hangover.

With a lot of help from DH I am getting out of the bargain and make do mentality. I would now rather go without and wait for the thing I want than to spend less and spend twice. Same with food, we fell into the going to cheaper shops and buying lots of reduced things but it just doesn't work for us as we feel deprived. And the budget still goes so we're saving no money at all. I think, for me, it is all part of looking at things as a whole and not getting bogged down in one item or one choice and living short term. It helps me to keep moving forward and having the life I want not the one that I acquire.