Hoarding...not just on TV

KAT44_2

Byatt wrote: »

I do the, "when I've moved x" or "when I've got thin...", it's always when I've...suddenly my life will be better, having said that, I am also dragged down by fear...what happens when I've de-hoarded...what happens if I'm still unhappy and lonely...

Byatt this is me exactly, I'm sure I self sabotage myself on purpose at times, it's like a fear of getting where you want to be just in case said destination isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Don't know how to do the multiple quote thing but Jojo your reply was spot on and really struck a chord with me, you are far far to wise

I havn't been decluttering for the past few days as I've been trying to regain some organisation after dd and ds returned to school. I have ds's bedroom marked out for tomorrow though and the attic of doom for Sunday

Brighton_belle

KAT44 wrote: »

Don't know how to do the multiple quote thing

Just click on the multicoloured bubbles at bottom right of any post you want to quote. When you have selected all the posts you want to quote, then click on reply as usual.
You can delete all the txt you don't want (i.e. if you only want to quote one sentance or paragraph in a long post, so you post doesn't take up half a page,lol.) But always be sure not to delete the [] around the word 'quote' so all the text appers in those neat little coloured box, like yours does above here.

alec_eiffel

KAT44 wrote: »

Byatt this is me exactly, I'm sure I self sabotage myself on purpose at times, it's like a fear of getting where you want to be just in case said destination isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Don't know how to do the multiple quote thing but Jojo your reply was spot on and really struck a chord with me, you are far far to wise

I havn't been decluttering for the past few days as I've been trying to regain some organisation after dd and ds returned to school. I have ds's bedroom marked out for tomorrow though and the attic of doom for Sunday

I think the fear of change and the fear of changing but then it not being what we think it will be is a big thing.

We moved to the seaside a few years ago and it was something I'd always wanted. And you know what I didn't change. I didn't become that women wearing Boden clothing, walking a fluffy dog along the windswept dunes. I remained a small, whining woman who was walking along the dunes while it was chucking it down with rain and howling a flipping gale. My dream came true but it's not a dream. I don't go to the beach every day, I didn't join the Nordic walking group or knit and natter at the library. I don't jaunt about wearing beautiful clothes and have a bike with a basket on the front and all that stuff that people who write blogs do. But it's still the best thing ever.

The fear of change can hold us back because the what-ifs we see are the negative ones, not the opportunities for things to be different in a positive way. Getting rid of the stuff will never be for nothing, it's just we can't know how things are going to end up until we do them.

lostinrates

Havefallen behind , so will read back later. Dh has parted witn a faourite t thats small this morning ( its shrunk he said, surprised. I smiled than he reliased the t shirt is the same size).

We are gaoing to so some weeding this morning while i can stand and move about, then declutter later, when dh will bring stuff to me while i sit down.

RosiePuddingPaws

alec_eiffel wrote: »

The fear of change can hold us back because the what-ifs we see are the negative ones, not the opportunities for things to be different in a positive way.

Thanks for this. I think this is what is holding me back from pursuing my dream.

Byatt

Alec, your post is very thought provoking, it made me realise that possibly the main fear I have is proving right all the people that have put me down and/or undermined me...all the adjectives we use, or that little voice in our heads use, to stop us from reaching our potential and being happy with that potential even if it isn't what others' consider successful or legitimate. What if I'm this, what if I'm really that...

I also want to add that everyone's posts help me. I don't always respond, because I get very brain foggy and can't put down what I feel, but each and every post is read, and so often I think, wow, that's me, that's how I feel or felt...or a post will enable me to reconsider, re-evaluate my preconceptions, face my terrors.

You are all appreciated and valued and I want to wrap you all up in fluffy marshmallow, or the lovely fleecy thing Jo-Jo had in her fruit and veg box.:D:A

Hope Blossom and Calico are ok? I know I may have missed someone, but I'm not good with names.

Elona, hope all is well with you and your family. xxx

davsidipp

garage door fixed now,we can go back in and clear more unwanted items,when i look at some of it,i think what possessed us to buy it.:mad:

wannabe_sybil

in haste as OH is working hard to de-richard little bear's room and I am trying to support him. He has just put a load of cardboard straight into the boot of the car ready for the tip run first thing tomorrow.

the thing about getting the stuff to the right charity shop struck me as how hoarding can be about trying to get some sort of control over things - and sometimes our lives are so chaotic that hoarding is the only place where we have any control, except it makes our lives harder and more chaotic trying to work around the hoard.

Little bear is with my sister in law. I asked whether she would be kind enough to look after him for a while one afternoon between the end of August and Christmas. She immediately said that she would do it today, picked him up at 9am, he is staying over night and she has bought a bed for him. I still worry about imposing, but I think I am kidding myself. However we are taking this opportunity to clear his room. He has agreed to getting rid of the desk, partly because my darling uncle has said he will buy him a new one. Sigh.

[Deleted User]

Hi all :-) I used to have slight hoarding tendencies but have managed an about-turn. As the years went by I became less & less interested in material stuff, as I came to realise it didn't guarantee anything. I was divorced and met my lovely no2 husband who is from Nepal several years ago. We visited Asia to see family for 7 weeks last year and met all kinds of people connected to him - some living in large houses, some in one room. However most lived relatively uncluttered/simply. It was the best trigger ever! I remember sitting by candlelight in a single room with a family of 3, eating with them and looking at their kitchen shelf - 4 plates, 4 glasses, 4 teacups etc. They lived, cooked, ate, slept in a space of 14ftx14ft.

I've become to be regarded as a bit 'peculiar' by some folks - as I don't really want any more STUFF as such! Unless it's very useful or exceedingly beautiful/sentimental value I just don't need it any more. I will wear my clothes until they wear out, selling my wedding clothes on ebay, give away books, freecycle extra things I no longer need. I find it very liberating. Every spare £ goes towards the next trip to see my Nepalese family.

What I do hoard though, are friendships, my family, memories and experiences and some photos to remind of the same.

Sorry if this sounds a bit "Polly-Anna"-ish - I know my folks find me a bit of a pain to buy gifts for but last year's birthday (40th!) they all clubbed together to get me a balloon flight - wonderful, amazing and so precious!!

Yes I still have some clutter (modern small houses) and I'm only interested in doing adequate housework, but it's groovy being able to find something in 30 seconds. I just need physical help due to my disability & I'd be getting rid of more!!!

Not sure of the point of my post but I thought it might be nice to hear from an anti-hoarder and how it happened.

The Nepalese have a proverb: "Simple life = High thinking"

Good luck to all the declutterers and in the end remember that you are not responsible for sorting out someone else's life - only your own and your minor dependants.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Welcome, Joolz - and thank you. You are most fortunate to have that blessing of friends and family.

Seven weeks in Nepal AND a balloon flight! Is there a smilie/emote for extreme jealousy?

*******

I ended being a rather busy bunny this morning.

After the monsters woke me up by traipsing all over me, I realised the battery in my alarm clock is dead - it was two hours past their breakfast time

After that, I made a cup of coffee and put their crunchies down/gave old bag her tablet, I somehow ended up;

Putting all my clothes away.

Putting all my shoes away.

Emptying the bedroom bin.

Moving the mirror, cleaning and considering whether it would look better in the landing or whether I needed to get a mini tester pot of metallic paint to change the frame colour. It can wait.

Picking up all odd bits and pieces that have found their way into my bedroom and jumped onto the floor.

Stripped my bed and put quilt up to air.

Realised I haven't watered the plants in the upstairs bathroom since I last had a bath! Watered them rather quickly.

Put cleaning stuff down the loo.

Cleared up all odd bits of carpet trimmings.

Removed large bit of cardboard that had been on the landing in lieu of carpet.

Spraypainted a tatty kitchen chair. Using the cardboard to shield the grass.

Chucked some water over the courgette plant.

Emptied two litter trays, washed and swept around them.

Vacuumed all downstairs, the stairs, the landing and half my bedroom.

Eaten the last of the strawberries straight from the plants.

Noticed the cup of coffee I made earlier hasn't been touched.

Put two washloads on. Dried one.

Put a dishwasher load on.

Wiped over the hob and sink.

Mopped/bleached the downstairs bathroom floor.

Emptied bin.

Taken dead plant out of window box.

Brought sad looking hanging basket of tumbling toms in from front and hung up by back door.

Rosined the cello bow some more.

Noticed the coffee is still sitting on the side.

Given cats a little snack.

Chipped ice off freezer where it was stopping the door from closing. turned thermostat thingy to min. Thought to bring out some frozen chicken pieces for my dinner and put them in the fridge. Realised I still haven't eaten more than a few tiny strawberries and three cherry tomatoes.


Finally got around to reheating the cold cup of coffee and drinking it with some breakfast at 1pm - a large mushroom and an egg - brushed the idiot cat (who, by the way, still thinks the open window is a wonderful invention, designed purely for his convenience, but is currently snoring his head off in his basket).


That really was quite a morning, wasn't it?



ETA: :eek: That's a HUGE list!

It wasn't really as much effort as it looks, either. The most strenuous thing was getting the vacuum cleaner up the stairs.