Hoarding...not just on TV

alec_eiffel

Hi Joolz,

That's a lovely mindset. Hoarding isn't really about being a consumer or materialism, or when it comes down to it it's not really about stuff. It's a psychological thing where the stuff is just a symptom, the physical manifestation of our inner troubles. Lots of hoarders I've met are all about living lightly on the earth which is why they can't bear to see other people waste things or why they can't let things go unless they go to the right place.

Our house would be classed as quite minimalist now I suppose, we don't own much stuff, have a super tight capsule wardrobe and all that other minimalist stuff, but getting rid of the stuff was the smallest part of that journey. so much other stuff had to go before the trips to the tip could even begin.

RAS

Byatt wrote: »

Alec, your post is very thought provoking, it made me realise that possibly the main fear I have is proving right all the people that have put me down and/or undermined me...all the adjectives we use, or that little voice in our heads use, to stop us from reaching our potential and being happy with that potential even if it isn't what others' consider successful or legitimate. What if I'm this, what if I'm really that...

Byatt

Did you read any of Murray's comments about winning grand slams? That he was worried that if he won, life would be different and he likes life as it is?

Lendl convinced him life would be the same but he'd get more chances to play golf for free!

Even at that level what if can be a prioblem

[Deleted User]

alec_eiffel wrote: »

Hi Joolz,

That's a lovely mindset. Hoarding isn't really about being a consumer or materialism, or when it comes down to it it's not really about stuff. It's a psychological thing where the stuff is just a symptom, the physical manifestation of our inner troubles. Lots of hoarders I've met are all about living lightly on the earth which is why they can't bear to see other people waste things or why they can't let things go unless they go to the right place.

Our house would be classed as quite minimalist now I suppose, we don't own much stuff, have a super tight capsule wardrobe and all that other minimalist stuff, but getting rid of the stuff was the smallest part of that journey. so much other stuff had to go before the trips to the tip could even begin.

Exactly - I realised after getting divorced, being very ill, becoming disabled that the stuff I did/didn't have never made a blind bit of difference. Bad things happened to me anyway, and somehow my mild hoarding tendency vanished...

I really feel for the people who are basically very ill with a hoarding disorder & as someone who used to work in the mental health field I know it really is a b*gger of a condition.

I feel some of it is a taking on of responsibility for the world - a kind of "if I don't do it, who will?" for the rescuing of objects. I do feel also that if the worst happens to us, and yet still we survive - it can be a tremendous catalyst in our reactions to physical possessions!

[Deleted User]

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Welcome, Joolz - and thank you. You are most fortunate to have that blessing of friends and family.

Seven weeks in Nepal AND a balloon flight! Is there a smilie/emote for extreme jealousy?
.....

:rotfl: yes I'm lucky, but it took 5 years of hassle with the Home Office for him to be able to stay here and we lived very simply in order to save up for a budget trip to Asia - good things come to those who wait. 2011-2012 has been good to us (finally!!!)

katep23

Hi all, had a mad panic today as have not been able to find passport for the last week and I need it when I start my new job in a week. The irony is that my OH gives me his passport for safe keeping and I could find that

Eventually found it on my desk that I had searched several times - under the hedgehog pen holder :cool: my excuse is that it's a burgundy passport on a red leather topped desk hidden by a green spiky pen holder

It has however spurred me on a lot as I got so cross that I couldn't find it amongst the stuff and so I have collected several carrier bags of carp, lots of paper for recycling and started another cs box.

Plus I have finally chucked out a bottle of perfume I got given for doing some work for someone's wife who I used to work with - I left that company nearly 12 years ago :rotfl:

I completely identify with the idea that if I get the house tidied, my life will be perfect. I am also a perfectionist and this seems to manifest itself in not doing anything! It is so helpful everyone sharing their thoughts on why they hoard, it gives me an insight into my motivation.

My OH has been brilliant this week, we have been off work and I had such grand plans of all the things we were going to do - he made me sit down and make a list each day and, for each task I wanted to add, work out how long it would take.

Instead of having a massive list I could never accomplish, I managed to complete almost everything as I had been realistic in my expectations so I felt like I had really achieved.

Still would have liked to have done more though :rotfl::eek:

Brighton_belle

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Has anybody here considered Flu jabs yet?

Blimey, you're right, it is getting to that time of year again. I tend to wait for our surgery's walk in clinics in October. Annoyingly last year, I had the only infection I had had in 2 yrs immediately after the jab...made me susicious. But I know real flu is baaaaaaad, so I'll still get it done as immune system compromised.
How are the injections going?: I've just dropped a dose by 20% to combat the fatigue hopefully. But I know someone on twice my dose with no fatigue issues at all, so everything crossed for you.

Today I took a bin bag of bedding to the cs for rags. Feels good and no difficulty with letting go of that.

DH has asked me not to get rid of my bike yet (aspirational clutter I had got down form the attic to photo and advertise) as he thinks he might get hs down from the attic (lol, yeah, I know) and we could go out on them 'sometime'. I have agreed, but am fairly sure this will prove to be a pipe dream. But I prefer to include him in my process.

lostinrates

Don't think we are gog. To get to the great wardrobe clearance today. . However, we are going to have a glass of wine and a snuggle, which is, frankly, as important.

[Deleted User]

My stepDad has a garage full of his 'stuff' - we joke it's all for Justin (just-in-case) & Ron (later-ron)

Which reminds me - I have a box in my shed untouched for 4 years, full of furniture-doing-up-stuff never used...

Freecycle time :-)

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Brighton_belle wrote: »

How are the injections going?: I've just dropped a dose by 20% to combat the fatigue hopefully. But I know someone on twice my dose with no fatigue issues at all, so everything crossed for you.

Still waiting for the hospital pharmacy to come out and train me to self inject. Two weeks now, so chased yesterday. Of course, during this time, I'm getting worse without treatment, so feeling the pressure with the house a little, as I don't want to be potentially knocked for six with stuff still waiting to be done.

I'm to start with 10mg, apparently. Plus folic acid. And I still need to find out what painkillers I can take with them, as all advice varies.

But the kitchen is all done and ready so I have somewhere for storage, disposal and administration, which is one less thing to worry about.


**********

I have just baked some bread in the slow cooker :A

Good cupful of flour, yeast, salt and a squirt of golden syrup, warm water, some caraway seed, mix and chuck in on top of greaseproof and forget about it. No kneading, no proving, just mix and bung in.


Unfortunately, I still need to buy some bread, as I tried some and ate the entire loaf (it's a tiny slow cooker) with my homemade tomato soup (small onion, sieved tomatoes, season, bit of Worcestershire Sauce and BBQ sauce, boil and serve).


Definitely doing it again, though.

katep23

Yay, I found several old lottery tickets I had a feeling might have won something, took them to the shop and I had a tenner on them... now invested in two bottles of red!

Must be my reward for decluttering today!