Hoarding...not just on TV

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Oi! Who said this wasn't the place for you to post?

Get your butt over here and post all you like!



FWIW, it sounds like paranoia. If you listened to my mother, you'd think I was a kleptomaniac with sociopathic tendencies and mild mental retardation.

Most of my beatings around the head as a child were on the basis of having 'stolen' something from Her, whether it was jewellery, clothes, milk, bread or the attention when in public. It was always 'this is MY property', right down to if the postman put it through the letterbox, it was hers to open and read.


So the stealing accusations are likely to be part of her condition - and if she said to DB similar about you, it's also very likely that, IF she has REALLY been in touch with your DB, in an attempt to shut the flow of wibble about you (which he would know wasn't true), he could have said to her when she said something about you 'well, don't give her your number then'. Not necessarily to upset you, but to shut her up.

And neighbours, well, they have to live by her, so it's a bit hard to come out on somebody else's side - especially if she is a little - volatile.


*******


I emailed the solicitor's yesterday. The court hearing for establishing DD's living arrangements has been rescheduled to next Spring as CAFCASS couldn't be bothered to get in touch with her or her father when ordered to do so. (or he ignored their contact - equally likely)

That's too long to leave it. And she will be taking her options this year.


So I gave consent for him to change her school, as changing now is better for her than doing it later in the year when all the options are full up.


So she's gone. Not in the same town anymore, not even for school. And I've signed away any influence in her future - he can now scrub me completely from existence.

[Sigh]


***********


So I finished the kitchen decorating.

It looks much better now.

katep23

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Oi! Who said this wasn't the place for you to post?

Get your butt over here and post all you like!

Wot she said

And Jojo, hope you are taking care and looking after yourself as well. Thank you again for starting this thread, you are our hero :A

Just to say, free listing on eBay this weekend - 3 days

whitewing

Hopefully when your DD is older and reflects on the situation, she will come to appreciate you more Jojo. Can you blog or diary a bit for her now she's gone (not public record, just stuff you think about her not being around at home while you think it, so that she can read it when she's a bit more mature).

I get a bit paranoid when I am stressed, hope I'm not getting dementia yet!

My wardrobe and cupboard look great with nothing on top of them. I have another ugly pile on another cupboard that is lining up to be on my hit list.

sjprmc01

I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said better than I would have done myself by others

But I want to give you more ((hugs)) x

Byatt

Jo-Jo, hugs, you are a good mother. I know how hard that must be, but you have shown your love by putting her first and I am sure one day she will realise that.

I'm not very good at saying the right thing, but wanted to say something. xxx

sjprmc01

Jojo. I have an older dd to an ex who left when she was 10 (now14) to live with her father. I was. Slowly stripped of all responsibility to her and then he began finding reasons for her not to be avail when I wanted to see her etc etc, long story short, I currently have no contact with her, my mum had to take him to court to get contact (she could get legal aid) but it was ending up a battle each time, again him making it difficult till he had a solicitors warning time and time again, my mum (who is 73) decided it was causing her too much stress!

I've had to be the bigger person and wash my hands of her for now (of course I'm just waiting for the day she realises what I have done for her and she will realise what her father has done TO her). x

Jettycat

Byatt wrote: »

I'm sorry about posting, just got caught up in the triggers so wasn't responding rationally.

to keep on topic, I have decluttered some of my own paper work, I have a nice new shredder which chops everything into tiny pieces and even does credit cards. My old shredder packed up after several good years, but couldn't cope in the end and went on strike!
xxxx

I agree with the carry on posting comments. One of the reasons I got up the courage to make my first post was the nice friendly nature of the posts here.

Oooh, what shredder have you got? I need to replace my old ribbon cut one as it's giving up the ghost and cross cutters are so much better for confidential stuff. Getting a cross cut one might encourage me to tackle the filing cabinets - I keep putting it off as the ribbon cutting shredder isn't the "perfect" way to deal with it!

x

wannabe_sybil

My very humble for what it is worth...

This is a support thread. Hoarding and decluttering do not happen in isolation. It may have started as a rant, it may have zigzagged everywhere, but deep down, it is full of lovely people.

Jojo - you have put your daughter first, which is what all the best mothers do. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Byatt - no-one is going to complain about you venting here.

lots and lots and lots of hugs to all

(posting again even though I haven't done any decluttering. But I will do soon, and getting myself in my right mind (as my late mother put it) is helping. See - no inhibitions about posting randomly at all! Still think it's worth posting to support.)

Byatt

Jettycat wrote: »

I agree with the carry on posting comments. One of the reasons I got up the courage to make my first post was the nice friendly nature of the posts here.

Oooh, what shredder have you got? I need to replace my old ribbon cut one as it's giving up the ghost and cross cutters are so much better for confidential stuff. Getting a cross cut one might encourage me to tackle the filing cabinets - I keep putting it off as the ribbon cutting shredder isn't the "perfect" way to deal with it!

x

It's this one, http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/200807478709?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1439.l2649

I got it from fleabay as you can see, as it was cheaper than Ama£on.

It's wonderful, tiny confetti pieces which don't seem to take up as much room as the ribbon cut ones...which was my previous one, and lasted a while even though it was cheap, but you could if you were so inclined piece the bits together, I used to try and scramble them up when in a bin bag.

With this one, the pieces could be used for rabbit beds or some such, it's fab! It doesn't seem to puff up the shreds either plus there's no paper dust.

Proud moment for me, I was looking at a butcher's block trolley on fleabay a little earlier, and right up to the last 60 seconds I was hovering to press buy, and then thought, NO...and logged off. It was aspirational, and I have no room. :eek:

SJ, hugs for you too. xxx

sjprmc01

Thanks! I really posted that just to show that things like that do happen a lot and so jojo doesn't feel alone, I've compartmentalised all my thoughts and feelings about this somewhere in my brain that likes to pretend I've dealt with it but I think it's just coz Im actually in limbo re the situation ATM!

Re : on topic.....I often fill a basket in online shops and talk myself out of all/most of it now! There were times I'd just press 'order' without a second thought, ok, it may be more a monetary reason I'm buying less, but whatever, it's helping a little!