Hoarding...not just on TV

Contessa

I'm feeling quite down today after another valuation on my house ( I also posted about it on the House buying, renting and selling forum, "Realities of marketing house") I thought I was nearly ready to put my house on the market and asked a fairly new firm of estate agents to value it ( partly because they're a lot cheaper, and partly because I like to support new businesses ) but the very young estate agent seemed unimpressed. More traditional firms had been more positive about my house. Basically, two things especially made me feel down, 1. much lower valuation than I'd hoped for, a lot less than comparable houses nearby, and 2. the reason being that they are in "tip top" condition ( I realise mine isn't but some parts are!), and that mine is old fashioned as it has a seperate dining room, not a kitchen-diner, smallish bathrooms and needs new stairs! Therefore not attractive to family buyers ( despite having a large garden)
I feel that I won't be able to sell it, or if I do it will not be for enough money to enable me to move to Cornwall where I have family.
When I told my son he said, " What can you expect from an estate agent who is standing on a carpet that is older than he is?!" This cheered me up a bit.
Sorry if I've rambled on.

Horace

I was married to a hoarder and although I fought to have a nice house I soon succumbed and became a hoarder myself:o I moved away and have recently got a divorce:j and although I lived on my own for a while I managed to hoard things but a recent move seems to have cured me.

A lot of stuff went to the charity shop, some was dumped in the bin, some was freegled. I packed 40 large packing cases with stuff which has since been unpacked and most of it has now gone.

it wasnt easy to part with my Michael Connolly books but one day I bit the bullet and they all went. After I moved into my new home I got rid of all my Jonathan and Faye Kellerman books too. I have kept the books I want to read again and again and others have gone.

I must admit that I am still unpacking and have one box to go but that is an easy box and I shall just go through it, shred stuff and store stuff away. Thankfully this house has 3 walk in wardrobes which have been utilised as storage (I cannot get into the loft and I do not climb ladders) so I have crated up my christmas decorations and presents and they are stacked in one cupboard with my iorning board and other useful stuff. I found an old chest of drawers in one wardrobe and that has been lined with paper and now stores my jumpers. Another has been turned into an office where I have installed the shelving unit from my old office and everything work related is stored in there and I can shut the door on it.

There is a lot less clutter and I feel a lot happier now that it has gone.

Clothes wise I have recently found a company what will pay me £18 a bag for old clothes so I am going through the stuff that I had earmarked to chuck out and will sort it out and get paid for it. £18 is a new light fitting or even a gardening implement.

Byatt

I can't remember who first posted about "aspirational" stuff, but I think it's spot on for some of us. I realise my life has been one of "aspirational" aquisitions...for a long time I had no original thought, I would see a person's home and think oh, it's lovely I would love my home to look like that, and then I would do a cheap copy and it still wasn't right. Most of the time I liked the style in someone else's place but it wasn't my style.

It's helpful for me to now look at things and decide whether they are aspirational for this fictious person, or whether I really want them for me.

I know a lot of us are also book worms, and I know I used books as an escape as a child. So my reality is composed of fictions that are often unrealistic. I aspired to be in a fun group like The Famous Five, I aspired to be popular and clever and in the in-crowd...I aspired to be a bear in a tree because his life was just so perfect and safe.

Well done Ginger on your clearing out of so much stuff and getting the council to come along!!

Welcome, littlegreenparrot,

edit, Contessa, don't let it get you down, although it's hard when it's your home and someone comes in and sees it as a business. He may be giving a low valuation because he's new and wants to get some sales under his belt. Not that I'm cynical or anything! Dress the home a bit with a plant or two, a nice (cheap) ornament...remove the clutter but not too much, (a friend did that and I walked in one day and thought she was moving, when in fact she had virtually removed eveything). As long as it's fresh and clean, open windows, fresh flowers etc, pretty tablecloth, you will be fine I'm sure. Can you put a rug down on the carpet? When the person comes along who really wants it, you will know. And most people redo most things. The woman who bought my house ripped out all the wooden flooring, which had only been in a couple of years, and put carpet down. She also ripped up the garden, front and back, and repainted the fence!

valk_scot

Byatt wrote: »

I can't remember who first posted about "aspirational" stuff,

I think it might have been me but I missed quite a bit of this thread and haven't yet read it all.

I do think that I should maybe stop reading mags like Country Living and Country Homes and Interiors though. Not to mention Mollie Makes and The Kitchen Garden and Home Farmer. There's a limit as to how much aspiration per month I can realistically cope with!

On the other hand if I get this place decluttered a bit it might even start looking a bit more like houses in some of the mags. After all, I bet you if you looked behind where the camera is pointing in these housey mags there would be a right old pile of plastic tat, six months of newspapers and the cat's litter tray. People don't really live like that after all, with no personal possessions on the hall table next to their posy of fresh daisies and interesting rustic object from Darkest Farmingshire.

Byatt

valk_scot wrote: »

I think it might have been me but I missed quite a bit of this thread and haven't yet read it all.

I do think that I should maybe stop reading mags like Country Living and Country Homes and Interiors though. Not to mention Mollie Makes and The Kitchen Garden and Home Farmer. There's a limit as to how much aspiration per month I can realistically cope with!

On the other hand if I get this place decluttered a bit it might even start looking a bit more like houses in some of the mags. After all, I bet you if you looked behind where the camera is pointing in these housey mags there would be a right old pile of plastic tat, six months of newspapers and the cat's litter tray. People don't really live like that after all, with no personal possessions on the hall table next to their posy of fresh daisies and interesting rustic object from Darkest Farmingshire.

Yes, I remember now. I thought at the time it was very perceptive/insightful, but didn't get around to posting, being so self absorbed at the moment. But it has made me think and to realise something new about myself. Quite often one word can make a huge difference.

Calico, if you're reading hope all is well with you.

sjprmc01

Im now finding I'm having to justify any purchases to myself! No de cluttering done today. Never get any done at the weekend as my work hrs and travel take up most of the day. Today I have ordered 3 jackets for the kids. Waterproof ones! They were needed. I was going to get the 3-in-1 ones so they would be warm for the winter too but tbh, they have winter coats anyway and middle dd has had a 3-in-1 before and she rarely actually used anything other than the outer part!

Byatt

SJ, I got a good quality waterproof from the CS a few months ago, although I had been looking for a 2 in 1, but then realised I only had to get a hoody for the colder months to go under it, which I did recently again very cheaply from Spo$ts Di$ect. I probably wouldn't have used the 2in1 properly because when I take one section out I probaly would end up losing it.

sjprmc01

I wouldn't have fancied looking for 3 kids ones in the cs, lol! I'd have spent more on the bus trying to hunt them down, lol!

I've bought them all biggish so providing they don't end up in the wash too much (therefore decreasing the waterproof-ability) they should last a couple yrs at least (and then hopefully one hand down to youngest too when she is out of hers)

I got a waxed jacket from Tesco last month I actually think waxed is a better thing to look for than waterproof, but you can't really get different coloured (or very cheap) ones for kids.....they don't like to have the same thing and it's less easy to mix up whose is whose if they are different coloured.

When the jackets come I may get rid of the ski jackets granny got them that are waterproof but actually too thick for them to wear and even in the winter they complain they are too hot in them!

GreyQueen

skipsmum wrote: »

Aspirational....cookery books (I hate cooking). Kitchen gadgets...I hate cooking. Fancy rices and herbs and spices....I hate cooking.
None of these things impress my friends because they all know I don't cook.

I have reluctantly accepted that I like eating but don't enjoy cooking and will only do things which are simple and don't require my presence hovering over the stove. I feel a bit sheepish about admitting this as am blessed with several pals who are excellent and imaginative cooks; more than once they have come to supper and ended up rescuing me from a self-induced pickle/ cooking the rice which I tend to make a mess of.

It's a liberation, of sorts, I think.

valk_scot wrote: »

I think it might have been me but I missed quite a bit of this thread and haven't yet read it all.

I do think that I should maybe stop reading mags like Country Living and Country Homes and Interiors though. Not to mention Mollie Makes and The Kitchen Garden and Home Farmer. There's a limit as to how much aspiration per month I can realistically cope with!

On the other hand if I get this place decluttered a bit it might even start looking a bit more like houses in some of the mags. After all, I bet you if you looked behind where the camera is pointing in these housey mags there would be a right old pile of plastic tat, six months of newspapers and the cat's litter tray. People don't really live like that after all, with no personal possessions on the hall table next to their posy of fresh daisies and interesting rustic object from Darkest Farmingshire.

I call these kind of magazines House P0rn and try not be lured into their glossy pretend perfection. Like you, I'm darned sure that they don't really live like that and that if they even approximate it they probably have staff!

My home is a very small concrete box in a 1970s tower block. Nothing known to the world of decoration is going to make it anything else. I keep it clean and tidily-painted in soothing colours and try not to block the floor and the doors, but I don't need these House...type magazines to make me feel bad that I don't have a whole lot more space/ stuff/architectural detail/ walled garden/orangery/stables/kitchen garden and Uncle Tom Cobbley and his blasted Aga and all.:rotfl:

I've read that women's mood and self-esteen plummets after reading fashion magazines and I wonder if the same could be said for interior decor mags?

((((Byatt))))) sweetheart, can't say anything better than has been said by others above, but thinking of you and wishing you well. Take care of yourself, hun.

Suppose I should go to bed? Nah, little more t'internet first. Laters, GQx

whitewing

Greyqueen,

You missed out my aspirational spiral staircase.