Hoarding...not just on TV

rising_from_the_ashes

Jo-Jo (((hugs))) hun, you're really going through the mill atm:(

Byatt wrote: »

I do try and clear when I'm feeling better in myself, but it's such a huge emotional issue, I already feel the flicker of panic when I think of clearing my clutter.

I'm a bit like that too Byatt - I do have OCD so interesting to hear that it can have links to that. The house isn't too bad at a quick glance, very messy and too much stuff but not horrendous IYKWIM but only because most of it's hidden from sight and stuffed into every available storage item possible - and as for the loft :eek::eek:.

I did have a big clear out last year and did a couple of car boots but it was really hard to do - what was left went to a charity shop. I really need to try to do it again but just can't find the emotional energy IYKWIM.

A lot of the stuff has been passed on from relatives so worth very little but the "oh, can't get rid of that it was Granny's" etc is really, really difficult. Probably doesn't help that I'm sadly the only one for it to get passed down to now and although I know I don't need 5 carving boards, 6 roasting tins, 3 full sets of every size of knitting needle (honest:o) etc, I just really struggle to let them go. DM kept bringing more & more stuff (as she's trying to clear out the mountains she's been passed down) but I've now told her just to give the stuff straight to charity as if I see it, I'll keep it.

I wish I could master the "it's not been used for xx - throw it out" attitude but when I try to sort through stuff, I think "oh, that's nice" or "well I may just use it" etc so never really get anywhere.

Valli

What gave ME the impetus to let go was when I heard myself telling my daughter (who's now 16) that she couldn't throw something away (that she didn't use) because such-and-such had given it to her. Then I realised I was teaching her to hoard:eek: so I then told her if she didn't want it and didn't use it she COULD throw it away or give it away.

And then I started getting rid of stuff I didn't want! I have less to dust and much less clutter. At first it went to the charity shop - right now I ebay it. Most of the stuff I now have listed on e bay is stuff from my Grandma's.

theoldcynic

For things that you would like to keep for memory purposes, try to limit yourself to ONE medium sized box.

If all your treasured items don't fit throw one thing out to make room for another. If you really are attached to an item that doesn't fit and are scared of losing the memory of it, take a photo of it and keep that photo memory card in the memory box (don't start hoarding masses of paper photos!).

You will never forget it then, and even if it's not there physically it should jog a memory or two, which is why a lot of people tend to keep such things, not because you actually physically need it there or have a physical use for it.

rising_from_the_ashes

I think part of my problem is that I had it drummed into me when I was little that you don't throw things away that still have some use in them, as you never know when you might need them again.

I have found Free*cycle fantastic for stuff that wouldn't sell as I at least know it will be put to use but still struggle to let go of the stuff.

miss_corerupted

jo-jo your mam my not have wanted your help, but you have helped people on here by talking about it, me included.

I'm going to start going through my books - i don't need 2/3 copies of the same book (paperback, hardback, special edition etc)

thank you

faerie~spangles

This thread has struck such a raw nerve in me.

wannabe_sybil

Jojo - lots of hugs. I am so sorry about your poor cat. As for your mother, blood is supposed to be thicker than water, but then so is treacle laced with cyanide. I suggest that you give her as little headspace as possible and concentrate on remembering the good things about Oggy and looking after herself.

Your mother does not deserve someone as nice as you.

Also, thank you for starting the thread. I have a hoarder darling uncle. I need to get rid of a lot of stuff as I am a hoarder at heart and sick of stuff. I will be watching this with interest.

A tip I have been given which helps - I know you are supposed to be putting things for recycling or charity shops, but if it is going to stay in a pile of things for eg charity shops and never move while the pile grows bigger, then you are better of just putting it in the bin. For me, putting things in piles for charity shops/ebay/recycling/donations just creates extra piles and nothing ever happens. Rubbish here is collected once a week.

Byatt

Sybil, I have a really difficult time putting things in the bin; I always want to recycle so stuff hangs around, However, most places I think, well here in Devon, have recycling centres where the stuff people bin is sold on to the public so nothing gets wasted.

The hoarder in us is a scary thing. I've been thinking about this a lot since this thread and I definitely wasn't a hoarder until marriage over, in fact my ex used to get so annoyed with me as I would regulrarly sort through and get rid of things which he always insisted he needed. So whilst at an intellectual level I can understand my hoarding, it's taken until now to acknowledge it at an emotional level. I really am seeing how I have justified getting/holding onto things, and despite the chaos of my home I have not seen it as a problem before, just a bit eccentric. To have an empty house will make me face my emptiness inside. Very hard, but I will do it. I am determined.

Valli

Some charity shops will collect donations so either

ring them when you have a pile to donate (local charities might be more amenable to collecting from you)

or

book a visit from them then you HAVE to get them a pile of stuff.

short_bird

I've been into 2 British Heart Foundation shops and they've both offered to collect. Some of their branches do furniture, so that may help some of you.