Why do they have to do this?

kelpie35

You are a person to be admired will all that life has thrown at you. :j

Can I wish you the very best in your job search and your new life.

Keep working at it.

Take care x

GeeBee38

Melonade wrote: »

I agree with this 100%

Don't tell them. Don't tell them until you've done it. I know it must be hard, you want to share stuff with them and get their support. But if their responses make you feel unhappy then don't put yourself through it. You've got a positive enough attitude after the things that have happened to you already. Just keep going and make sure you get the things you want. Good Luck

Yes, i agree too, i think i will, thank you very much

GeeBee38

kelpie35 wrote: »

You are a person to be admired will all that life has thrown at you. :j

Can I wish you the very best in your job search and your new life.

Keep working at it.

Take care x

That's a lovely thing to say, thank you so very much x

RAS

GeeBee38 wrote: »

So i mention this to my parents, ' I don't know why your applying for that job, you won't get it, knowing our luck'

'I don't know why you want to live there, it's rough, you'll get attacked, knowing our luck'

Everything is always 'knowing our luck', or 'it's not meant to be'

They are really getting me down, i am in tears writing this, why do they have to be so negative about everything????
I enter competitions as a hobby, they even say that's a waste of time as 'you never win'

Try this - you may find it helps.

My mother did screaming harridan or Eeyore on downers. And, "of course it is all your fault." And she firmly believed I was a complete failure despite everything I achieved. I learned to modify her voice until I could largely ignore her rants.

Take each one of those statements by your parents.

Now play the same "tape" but massively distort their voice in some way that you find funny.

What happens if you speed it up? Donald Duck? Helium? Monty Python, your favourite comedian (maybe not actually because you want to continue enjoying them)? Get the idea.

Try turning up the volume? It hurts? So now turn it down until it is quieter than real life.

Keep fiddling with "tapes" until they have little or no charge. Or until you start laughing.

And consider this - next time they say something like this, laugh at them. Every time. They will stop soon enough.

What you may have is parents who like you to fail because they can control you?

Dunroamin

GeeBee38 wrote: »

Thank you, and yes, that's exactly what it's like, i think i will tell them less, as i don't think they will ever change.

Why tell them anything at all - most adults don't tell their parents all that much about their lives even when they're supportive.

duchy

My Mum used to do this. I'd bounce in full of optimism and excitement at a new chalenge, job, anything and she'd stick in verbal pin into me and deflate me.

One day I lost patience and asked her why she had to do it every time -she denied it but I persisted and told her she had always done it since I was a child (I was 40) there was a long pause -and then she said "My mother always did it to me and I never realized I was doing it to you too-I am so sorry" She died less than a year later so I am very glad I pushed the point with her-she never stopped doing it completely but I stopped taking it to heart when she did from then on.

GeeBee38

RAS wrote: »

Try this - you may find it helps.

My mother did screaming harridan or Eeyore on downers. And, "of course it is all your fault." And she firmly believed I was a complete failure despite everything I achieved. I learned to modify her voice until I could largely ignore her rants.

Take each one of those statements by your parents.

Now play the same "tape" but massively distort their voice in some way that you find funny.

What happens if you speed it up? Donald Duck? Helium? Monty Python, your favourite comedian (maybe not actually because you want to continue enjoying them)? Get the idea.

Try turning up the volume? It hurts? So now turn it down until it is quieter than real life.

Keep fiddling with "tapes" until they have little or no charge. Or until you start laughing.

And consider this - next time they say something like this, laugh at them. Every time. They will stop soon enough.

What you may have is parents who like you to fail because they can control you?

Lol, thanks, may try this, or just wear ear plugs all the time and just nod, when they speak

Jo84_2

You are a true 'rubber ball' as my mum would say - cos you always bounce back!!

And I have such admiration for you.

I think the best thing you could do now is to let what they say 'go in one ear and out of t'other' go and live your life, where you want and how you want!

Prove to them that they were wrong and you really can achieve your dreams.

Good luck

JoJo

GeeBee38

duchy wrote: »

My Mum used to do this. I'd bounce in full of optimism and excitement at a new chalenge, job, anything and she'd stick in verbal pin into me and deflate me.

One day I lost patience and asked her why she had to do it every time -she denied it but I persisted and told her she had always done it since I was a child (I was 40) there was a long pause -and then she said "My mother always did it to me and I never realized I was doing it to you too-I am so sorry" She died less than a year later so I am very glad I pushed the point with her-she never stopped doing it completely but I stopped taking it to heart when she did from then on.

Thanks for sharing your story, i'm glad you sorted this out before she passed, and i'm sorry to hear of your loss.
I wish you all the best

GeeBee38

Jo84 wrote: »

You are a true 'rubber ball' as my mum would say - cos you always bounce back!!

And I have such admiration for you.

I think the best thing you could do now is to let what they say 'go in one ear and out of t'other' go and live your life, where you want and how you want!

Prove to them that they were wrong and you really can achieve your dreams.

Good luck

JoJo

Aw, thank you