Nice people thread part 6 - thrice by twice as nice :)

LydiaJ

SingleSue wrote: »

My parents have made the kind offer of paying £400 towards driving lessons for James, he is (this is a bit of an understatement), very chuffed and quite overwhelmed at the offer.

Think they have done it because his joints have really been quite bad just recently as he has a very physical part time job and it has taken its toll on his body, alongside an hour long walk to get to work in the first place (and of course, the resulting hour long walk home at the end of the day). They think having a full driving license may open up the option of different kinds of part time work where the physical impact may not be so great.

Sounds like excellent news.

lostinrates wrote: »

Just found out dn got great results! 2 As and 2 Astars. Very peound of her. However, have also found out she is not going to her uni of choice as family cannot afford fees despite the two grants she was awarded. Truely gutting for her, but we cannot afford to contribute to the shortfall, and she is turning down her offers to two uk universities (one a nice teen is goiong to in london) and one where the bagpipes play, both of whoch i think would be great, and she is going to reapply for oxbridge next year.

I am so cross on her behalf that her parents have lead her up hope's garden path to drop this bombshell, but i have a feeling she knew more than we did.( we believed the money was available from a source as its what we were always told). The other one also wanted a US uni, so at least spthat one has seen the way the cookie is going to crumble and has some rime to reassess her options.

So, she is taking a gap year.

Its hard enough without dealing with carp like that, imo, at that age. I am so furious with her parents i could scratch their eyes out. Not for not affording it, but for telling her that it would be possible.

lostinrates wrote: »

I am cross, so my response is probably unbalanced but dElusion, self righteousness, a lifetime of leaching upon others, misplaced snobbery, a sense of entitlement and disconnect from the real world. Amoung other unattractive things.

The really sad thing is only i seem to be fuming about it. Dh says it is sad but not entirely unsurprising and my parents just seem to be metaphorically sticking their fingers in their ears and going 'lalalalalala'. Its a symptom of an issue that started way before t he dns were born, way before i was and which is to late to resolve but could be handled better so it was not handed along the generations. Hopefully it won't be any way.

I'm with everyone else in considering this inexcusable - and damaging for the young woman in question, although I'm sure we all hope it won't be as catastrophically damaging as it was for Sue's poor friend. I can see where your parents are coming from though - if they've been like this for 30 years, then it's probably futile to expect them to behave any other way.

Silver - that's great news about your DS's place. Hope he can put it all behind him now and look forwards from here.

lemonjelly

Congrats to all parents & offspring for getting their grades & places!:j

I am likely to be missing for a while. Relapse isn't the correct word, however circumstances (for want of a better word) are going to mean I'm not about for a bit...

silvercar

lir wrote:

......truely gutting for her, but we cannot afford to contribute to the shortfall, and she is turning down her offers to two uk universities (one a nice teen is goiong to in london) and one where the bagpipes play, both of whoch i think would be great, and she is going to reapply for oxbridge next year.

Can she be persuaded to accept one of her UK offers, AIUI provided she accepts by 31 August the place would be hers.

silvercar

Silver - that's great news about your DS's place. Hope he can put it all behind him now and look forwards from here.

He still has some friends with no places. Seems that grades are lower than last year but uni's are showing some flexibility.

One of his friends needed A*, A, A for Oxbridge and only got AAA. He has applied for a remark in one paper but has to wait for that to come back to find out if he has the place. Meanwhile he can't go into clearing without giving up on the Oxbridge place.

tomterm8

PasturesNew wrote: »

IGoogled for some kind of a walk in centre, but can't find anything.

Google says I'll live and it's nothing to worry about/ignore it. !

Google is wrong. With symptoms like that you should go to your doctor. Not urgently, but reasonably soon.There are lots of things it could be... impossible to self diagnose.

zagubov

lemonjelly wrote: »

Congrats to all parents & offspring for getting their grades & places!:j

I am likely to be missing for a while. Relapse isn't the correct word, however circumstances (for want of a better word) are going to mean I'm not about for a bit...

Good luck with whatever's happening, lj

PasturesNew wrote: »

Well that's a relief... I've actually started thinking lately that I might have 1-10 years left because so many in my family tree didn't make it much further than where I am now!

PN have you not contacted NHS direct? You should. I don't know what's causing your symptoms but I'm concerned somebody in the know should talk about it with you.

As a general point, there's a website called living to 100.com which helps predict your longevity depending on your forebears longevity and your lifestyle.

Helps you make lifestyle decisions.

Half of us probably smoke too much and the rest don't know you can make ice cubes from leftover wine because they've never encountered leftover wine.

The world mortality rate is holding steady at 100% but I'm betting we can manouvre our fate to our advantage;)

LydiaJ

lemonjelly wrote: »

Congrats to all parents & offspring for getting their grades & places!:j

I am likely to be missing for a while. Relapse isn't the correct word, however circumstances (for want of a better word) are going to mean I'm not about for a bit...

Hugs lemonjelly. Hope things go OK. We'll be right here waiting for you when you feel up to coming back.

tomterm8 wrote: »

Google is wrong. With symptoms like that you should go to your doctor. Not urgently, but reasonably soon.There are lots of things it could be... impossible to self diagnose.

I agree with tomterm and zag about this. It might be nothing, but it might not be nothing, and you need to talk to somebody who can tell the difference.

John_Pierpoint

LydiaJ wrote: »

PN I agree with tomterm and zag about this. It might be nothing, but it might not be nothing, and you need to talk to somebody who can tell the difference.

PN So do I - somehow I think you are like me: normally stay healthy by avoiding doctors?

Have you got a health records file out there somewhere?

Some random bod in a health centre really needs to know your history to make a reliable diagnosis - but an unreliable diagnosis is better than nothing and tests can follow.

lostinrates

silvercar wrote: »

Can she be persuaded to accept one of her UK offers, AIUI provided she accepts by 31 August the place would be hers.

I don't think so, partly because no one is trying to. I am persona non grata because we would not contribute to the preferred option, and no, as it happens i don't have ten grand to give you 'towards' your costs of gap year ( part of the problem is that her very good work ethic has never been directed into earning because her parents don't see themselves as 'trade' where as my dad was only trade and should be grateful to be oart of the family, and i am trade by birth, so its not surprising i always had 'little jobs', oh, and they are also a little bit 'discriminatory' and rather horrified i married into a jewish family. (fwiw sometimes when really cross with her i imagine revealing to her family the skin tone of ds boyfriend before she net dbil, she lives in fear of them finding out, prat) Some mind sets are just impossible to reason with, and yet ypu cannot blow a kid's faith in her parents. Its something we all have to discover by ourselves imo. My mither is the only one who could say anything and she doesn't want to, or feels unable to or hasn't noticed or something. She started on about foreigners to me yesterday and got cros when i reminded her she was one, so the conversation ended abrubtly.

Deluded, the lot of them.

PasturesNew

tomterm8 wrote: »

Google is wrong. With symptoms like that you should go to your doctor. Not urgently, but reasonably soon.There are lots of things it could be... impossible to self diagnose.

That's the thing.... I don't currently have a Doctor. Was going to sign onto one after my next move, in 2-3 weeks' time.