Asking about getting a dog resulting in eviction

tbs624

GTC - do not just give up on your tenancy deposit. Your LL is legally obliged to have scheme registered it and have given you the scheme's prescribed information. This ghastly sounding pair cannot simply retain your deposit on a whim.

Totally agree with the others who have suggested that you get the lock barrels changed: obviously you need to pick a time when they are out or there is likely to be more confrontational behaviour from them.

They need to be made to understand that tenant harassment is a criminal offence. Shelter advisers can help you with letter writing and, as someone else has said, the local Council should have a private rented sector tenancy relations officer who can give you some support. You may also like to have a look at Community Legal Advice if you are on benefits/ a low income - it may be that a solicitor's "cease and desist" letter to these LLs would be advisable

Leave the dog issue aside for now and focus on moving forward - you *can* do it. Your LLs failure to deal correctly with your tenancy deposit may give you some very valuable bargaining power so make sure that you flag this issue up with any adviser..

As for references for future potential LLs, I would not worry too much about this pair. You say you have been in situ for many years on a series renewed 12 months ASTs - that speaks volumes because LLs don't offer renewals to "problem" Ts. Experienced LLs recognise the kind of scenario you describe and are capable of making their own decisions on your suitability as a T.

Keep your chin up.

tbs624

GotToChange wrote: »

I had recently asked if they would (as retired professionals) authenticate copies of my documents for the OU - so (taking a deep breath) I rang next door to mention it (yes, even after all that has been said

IMO , I would avoid asking for their help on things like this. You need to put some very clear "space" between them and you otherwise the boundaries will remain blurred.

You don't say what sort of documents you needed signing off but you can ask your GP/Dentist or whatever. Yes, they are likely to make a small charge but that has to be better than being beholden to your LLs.

If it ain't to do with the tenancy, keep them out of it.

GotToChange

tbs624 wrote: »

IMO , I would avoid asking for their help on things like this. You need to put some very clear "space" between them and you otherwise the boundaries will remain blurred.

You don't say what sort of documents you needed signing off but you can ask your GP/Dentist or whatever. Yes, they are likely to make a small charge but that has to be better than being beholden to your LLs.

If it ain't to do with the tenancy, keep them out of it.

Agreed - and was a mistake in hindsight, although was a useful exercise in establishing the level of bad feeling retained on their side; as I was polite and used an amicable tone.
Which seems to quite high - but why for god's sake.....?
(Who has a bleeping hell of a lot to think about and sort out...? Not them.)

Another point -in the light of your helpful advice that a new LL would be aware that the length of this tenancy speaks for itself ; I wonder how the timing of such a matter would work - it would be awful to find a new place and it be subject to LL refs. Then I explain the length of time living here - but how could that be proved to new LL, thus alerting current LL of my plans to move. Ugh. Confusing.

LocalLad

OP- Your situation does seem very difficult, however you are in a stronger position than you are giving yourself credit for.

You have been provided with some great advice, what the law states etc...and should be in no doubt that the law is firmly on your side.

The situation will never improve, unless you continue to fold to these people, which from what I see is not helping with your wellbeing.

It's time to take a stand. It is evident from this thread that you are an educated person and very able to communciate your feelings in a respectful, appropriate manner. It is time to write a letter to the LLs appending documents which clearly state what the Law says in relation to Tenants' rights.

Instead of looking at the situation as you being a victim, you should use it to empower yourself and show these people that you are more than a match for them intellectually. If they aren't smart enough then to read between the lines and realise that a new tenant will ensure everything is enforced to the letter of the law, then you can imply it in your letter too.

You should 100% look to get out of the situation you are in, but only on your terms and when you are good and ready to do so.

Getting through this could be the best counselling you could ever need, as from reading most of the thread, I don't think there is a doubt that you can get through this. It's a matter of channeling your energy in the right direction.

Good Luck.

GotToChange

Wow, LocalLad. Thank you for your words of encouragement and advice.

I am so unwilling to exacerbate the situation by writing to them (again) but cannot help but want to; I would love for everything to have remained official but 20/20 hindsight is not going to help me with this. If another letter ("note", they would say) was to land on their doormat now, I am not sure what the consequences would be. I hate it when the fact a letter is written overshadows the content of the letter - which then never gets mentioned, let alone resolved in any way.

(I do wish that I was actually as educated as I may - sometimes - appear; all this malarkey is affecting my (L2) OU study, which in itself is cheesing me off.)

Bufger

GotToChange wrote: »

So true.
The fact is that I am in a "vulnerable" position and they know it. Equally though, I don't appear to be a vulnerable person.... I suppose. Sometimes it's a case of (mistaken) tall poppy syndrome - and sometimes people are just gits to other people (usually from their own safe position....).

You are correct in your view about changing my outlook; this has worn me down a little, hence self-pity/wallowing. I don't have much back-up and never have had, people can capitalise on that and at the same time tell you you are a loser because you don't; a nasty vicious circle that cannot be broken if people don't have the self-awareness to know what they are doing. Or they don't care.

I have made some enquiries - and maybe social housing/housing association won't be so bad. Secure tenancy, no bond required - and (mostly) dogs allowed.



(Yes, I know; grow up....
....One day, I will.)

I'd say go ahead and get that dog when you move on to better housing (better = not oppressed). Dogs are such loving creatures and can really give you a lift. If you have to wait until January for financial reasons why not volunteer as a dog walker at the local dogs trust? That would give you a lift at the weekend and you'd get to bond with plenty of little characters.

This is making me miss Barney, our old faithful beagle we had for 14 years :A

GotToChange

Bufger wrote: »

I'd say go ahead and get that dog when you move on to better housing (better = not oppressed). Dogs are such loving creatures and can really give you a lift. If you have to wait until January for financial reasons why not volunteer as a dog walker at the local dogs trust? That would give you a lift at the weekend and you'd get to bond with plenty of little characters.

This is making me miss Barney, our old faithful beagle we had for 14 years :A

Aw. RIP Barney.
(Love Beagles )

I had thought of the dog-walking (which in turn led to thinking of the GD puppy-walking....); spent a few years working for a local animal sanctuary but more with the horses and in the office. I visited a couple of weeks ago and the place is simply too !!!!!y and political these days. Sadly the "only" (there were a lot) dogs who were there were "long term who nobody wants".

mpet

Wow! what an awful situation - you have my sympathies.

There has been a great deal of valuable information already given, but I thought I add my few thoughts.

First I would forget about the dog for now. From what you have said, there is no way on earth the LL will agree - save yourself the abuse and heartache in trying to reason with them.

Make a long term plan - would you be happier moving - personally I would be looking at what's on offer in the rental market in your area - don't rush into anything though.

I would not have any further contact with them except on an official/formal basis. I would not answer their phone calls (get an answer machine to screen calls). I would not answer the door if I didn't want to speak to them. I would not invite them into the house - if you do answer the door to them, let them talk on the doorstep. I would get net curtains/blinds so they can't look in the windows. I would also set up some kind of trellis arrangement in the garden, so I could sit there peacefully if I wanted without being stared at. If I saw them over the fence/in the street, I would probably say good morning, but would not be drawn in to any further conversation.

If I felt they were overstepping the mark (letting themselves in etc) I would then put my complaint to them officially in writing - in a formal unemotional tone - preferably quoting the appropriate legislation/clause from your TA.

If they don't like it - tough - as long as you are paying the rent on time and not breaking your TA - there's not much they can do.

Take control and you will feel much better.:)

GotToChange

You are so right.

Already scouting out properties (not easy - limited, veeery limited in my locale) and registering for social housing (all HA houses seem to go through the councils too). One issue is that I am the extreme edge of one council who would mainly have properties in a town I could not live in; but, am just over (the wrong side) the border of the council who mainly has properties in/around the town I would live in/close to, thus meaning that I am as low a "priority" as it is possible to be on their allocation criteria.
Bl--dy geography.
Crazy as it sounds, I am leaning towards social housing (private worries me now....) for security/low rent etc etc - I just need to not be such a snob about the area (I certainly have no right to be but I am abit of a country bumpkin at heart; my descendants used to be the besum makers* of Cutthorpe in Derbyshire.)

I would move far far away if I could.

I know that I have (to) give up on the dog plan (for now); this was the perfect window time-wise, which is sad. It is also quite difficult to think now of looking after this little house and garden - which I love to do. My friendly conifer hedge trimmer called only the other day to see if my 6.5-7 ft hedges (two sides - not LL's boundary, sadly) were needing their annual trim; cost £75. Don't really feel that I want to spend money on the property any more. (Well, I don't really mind - but then I remember that I have been told to find somewhere else to live....) Dilemma.

Trying to create privacy between the two gardens is proving difficult (even though they did have a whacking great extension built (= goodbye sunshine after 4pm; even though theors is a bungalow, the hieght makes it as high as a house...) which creates something of a barrier. I so far have elephant grass (half-killed by the snow so not tall enough), a cheapie arch which nothing has grown over at a high enough level - and my grown-from-twig/previously mentioned leaning apple tree. But there are still gaps (and remember that MrsLL is the one saying that she feels exposed) and due to the height disparity, any screening must be quite tall if planted from my side. And this of course, omits the fact that he MAY want to climb over if I fail to answer the door.



*I had a little wall plaque made (from weather vane company) of a witch on her broomstick. It is on the wall against rose on a trellis (which I incidentally had to plant and grow after LL pulled out the pretty ivy that was there and above the lounge window, saying he didn't like it) and illuminated by a solar charged moon hanging from hook.
Cannot think why I have such a reputation.

Better_Days

mpet wrote: »

I would not have any further contact with them except on an official/formal basis. I would not answer their phone calls (get an answer machine to screen calls). I would not answer the door if I didn't want to speak to them. I would not invite them into the house - if you do answer the door to them, let them talk on the doorstep. I would get net curtains/blinds so they can't look in the windows. I would also set up some kind of trellis arrangement in the garden, so I could sit there peacefully if I wanted without being stared at. If I saw them over the fence/in the street, I would probably say good morning, but would not be drawn in to any further conversation.

If I felt they were overstepping the mark (letting themselves in etc) I would then put my complaint to them officially in writing - in a formal unemotional tone - preferably quoting the appropriate legislation/clause from your TA.

If they don't like it - tough - as long as you are paying the rent on time and not breaking your TA - there's not much they can do.

Take control and you will feel much better.:)

This was my thought when I read this thread. I suspect one of the reasons they don't want to communicate by letter is that they can't bully you so easily. Also of course there is a record when things are done by letter.

If you communicate by letter then there is not the opportunity for them to bring up other things just to put you down.

So my advice would also be to communicate only by letter, screen your calls and don't answer the door to them (or at the very least only open the door on the chain). Change the locks. It is so important that your personal space (for which you are paying) is not invaded. Having been subject to bullying in a shared house, and in the work environment I really feel for you. It can wear you down so much and it can happen to just about anyone depending on the circumstances.

The trellis idea in the garden is an excellent one. Or a cheap reed or bamboo screen which can be easily put up.

Bullies are people who are so insecure that they try to feel better about themselves by attempting to exert power over others. This is a definition from Wiki

Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person

You may find it helpful to do a bit of reading on assertiveness on the internet, a definition of assertiveness:

Behaviour which enables a person to act in his or her own best interest, to stand up for herself or himself, without undue anxiety, to express honest feeling comfortably, or to exercise personal rights without denying the rights of others

Making a plan so that you can leave in your own timescale seems to me to be the best way forward. If you get Shelter and/or CAB etc involved ask for some paperwork confirming that you having serious problems with your current LL that are not of your making. This maybe useful when you come to look for alternative accommodation. You can explain to potential LL's that the relationship with your LL has unfortunately broken down after a number of years. You can ask that they do not contact LL as this will only make things worse for you, but show evidence that you have been there for many years.

Do not be surprised if the LL resists your attempts to be assertive. But each step you take in the right direction, however falteringly, will give you more strength to move further forward. There maybe some setbacks, but if you have a plan, then the path will be clearer.

You deserve better than this. Value yourself. Concentrate on what you can control. You can control your own behaviour, what you initiate and how you respond to others. You cannot control your LL. Let him do as he will, but don't simply react. Think about likely situations and how you would respond. If necessary write it down. Then leave it unless the situation arises.

I do hope that you find a much better LL and that you get your dog. Animals are great, as long as you meet their physical and emotional needs they give unconditional love, even if you are having a bad hair day:eek: And there is no devotion like that given to you by a labrador when you have a chocolate biscuit in your hand :)