Too disabled and too young to move out!

gaogier

Ah, okay.

There is a forum community that is worth a read of how people cope with Aspergers, for example being married to someone with aspergers is a great read http://www.psychforums.com/asperger-syndrome/topic69284.html.

Dunroamin

jackieb wrote: »

I do think a few posters are being a bit unfair to the OP. This is one reason why I worry about my own children because of how they might come across to people who don't realise the quirks of a person with asperger's.

Then they need to be upfront about their condition if they want people to understand. The OP, despite giving enormous detail about his physical problems has only just mentioned Aspergers.

gaogier

Aspergers is mental, not really physical.

You see, I don't want to move, but realistically, I have to move.

I am comfortable living at home with my mum, and I am happy for this to continue. However due to my physical issues I need privacy and this is why I am looking into what my options are when I do move out.

Sorry, I don't mean to go on and on about my physical issues - I don't know, I just keep going and going until I think I have covered all the bases, and if I think I haven't I will keep going on.

GlasweJen

I have high functioning autism, it's not that I don't understand it's that the OPs story reads like some sort of sick joke.

gaogier

Why is that? is it how I type things? or just the whole story of me not being able to live in a flat thats on a hill?

GlasweJen

No the bit about the assistance cats, your "psychosis" due to autism (we're NOT psychotic) and the bit about expecting your mum who can't lift a 1kg weight to care for you because you have falls.

tenmah

GlasweJen wrote: »

I have high functioning autism, it's not that I don't understand it's that the OPs story reads like some sort of sick joke.

Chill out! One of your posts states you can't have pets because you are disabled and can't look after them and then another post mentions that you had Papillons.

I am sure there is a reasonable explanation for this but sometimes our posts are read in a different way than we mean.

So because you don't like/understand what the OP has written, his story is a sick joke or he automatically is a troll?

Anubis_2

jackieb wrote: »

This can be one of the classic signs of Asperger's. That's how some people with Asperger's come across to others.

Agreed, or rather, they are unable to see the problem from the viewpoint of others so come across as selfish purely on the basis they can lack the compassion to see things from another persons angle (like the OP fails to see how it's affecting his mother/sister)

My oldest has Asperger's and it has been extremely difficult (and still is) I will add here that we have never claimed any sickness benefit for him, and neither has he claimed sickness benefits now he is an adult.

The reason is we didn't give focus to the "label" - we didn't want to give him a complex. Looking back we should have sought out more one to one care, and I would have claimed purely on the basis of putting the money towards one to one care as I am not sure we have handled things correctly, and would do things differently now.

However we drummed a work ethic into to him and he despises when he is not in work and takes anything going. At the moment he is on 8 hours a week and still entitled to JSA but the stress to him claiming it means he refuses to claim.

He cannot express himself, not express his feelings and we have to live on eggshells as the slightest mention of things sets him off. He refuses to accept he has Asperger's - to him everyone else is wrong.

The poster who mentioned about worry for their children I can see where you are coming from. Even though he is in his 20's and the oldest I worry about him more than my other three put together. He cannot leave home because he wouldn't cope alone, and that is my biggest fear. We are not going to be here forever and I know he is going to struggle. As he refuses to go to the doctors, has many meltdowns, cannot deal with noise etc, the slightest thing causes him pressure we are at a loss.

The only time he can get relief is during a meltdown when he ends up crying so hard afterwards it releases his built up emotions. Not long ago during a bad meltdown he smashed his window to jump and his dad only just caught him to stop him, at the same time my daughter was having a meltdown due to his meltdown and what he was saying to her - the whole day and night was a nightmare.

My point is I guess if you do have Asperger's, combined with your other problems I don't think it's a good decision to move out to be on your own at this moment in time. Perhaps wait until the round of ops have finished and you are more mobile, then consider independance.

GlasweJen

tenmah wrote: »

Chill out! One of your posts states you can't have pets because you are disabled and can't look after them and then another post mentions that you had Papillons.

I am sure there is a reasonable explanation for this but sometimes our posts are read in a different way than we mean.

So because you don't like/understand what the OP has written, his story is a sick joke or he automatically is a troll?

Had, they both died last year. They were family pets, they lived at my mums house, I never had the capacity to look after them on my own though the younger of the 2 used to growl at my pacemaker. I miss them a lot and I would love a dog but I can't even have an assistance dog because im too disabled to look after it.

gaogier

Anubis are you talking about me there? thats how my mum and sisters tell me thats how I am! I don't see it, I know with my mum's mental health issues and me being just you described - its almost you took it word by word what my mum tells me what I am like.

Actually, thinking about it, it could be why if I move out she wants me really close, not so if I fall she will be there quickly, but if I have a, well breakdown she can get there fast? That would make sense I guess.

I personally hate being on benefits, I don't tell anyone I know I am on them, I lie and tell them I make money online - even though I do stuff online - I don't take a single penny as I do it as its an obsession of mine.