How much time does your baby spend with other people?

meritaten

From the point of view of both a mum (to three) and a grandmother (of six), I do think your mum has a point. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a baby being with its mum 100% of the time if that is what you want. On the other hand babies do need to be 'socialised' - rather like puppies, unless you really want a child who is not at ease with other people - so I am sure that you are really happy to hand the baby round at family gatherings, that baby has frequent visitors to play with her, that she has a whirl of social activity (clinic, Mother/baby groups, the shops the park etc).
I think its only a problem if the Mother/Father is isolated from society themselves.
Yet - I can remember when the grandkids were babies - oh, the priviledge of being able to take the precious one and show them off (neighbours, friends, the lady in the corner shop, the hairdresser....), and some even more golden time alone for Grandma/baby bonding!
That may be mums motive hun - but I can understand completely her eagerness to get 'her hands on the baby'!
I've always said 'Grandkids are the reward you get for bringing up your own kids'!

Gillyx

I'd actually like to leave my boy with people (even for an hour or so) to get him used to more people. Maybe I am a control freak, but we've got things going good at the moment and I just don't trust anyone to follow what we do. I can imagine my MIL doing what she pleased, she doesn't think he eats enough, so I can imagine her feeding him every 3 hours rather than every 4, taking his teething anklet off (which she does already) allowing him to stay up until 8/9pm when his bed time is 6.30. No matter what I said before hand I think it'd still go on, so that's the main reason I don't want to do it, and that's sad

meritaten

Gillyx wrote: »

I'd actually like to leave my boy with people (even for an hour or so) to get him used to more people. Maybe I am a control freak, but we've got things going good at the moment and I just don't trust anyone to follow what we do. I can imagine my MIL doing what she pleased, she doesn't think he eats enough, so I can imagine her feeding him every 3 hours rather than every 4, taking his teething anklet off (which she does already) allowing him to stay up until 8/9pm when his bed time is 6.30. No matter what I said before hand I think it'd still go on, so that's the main reason I don't want to do it, and that's sad

Yeah Gilly - and that is why so many kids clamour to have 'sleepovers at Grandmas'! we all need some R&R - even kids!

Gilly? how much damage could she do in just an hour or so? Shame that you are depriving yourself of a needed rest, your MIL of some pleasure and bonding time alone with her grandson - and your son of time with his gran.

This teething anklet has me intrigued - I have seen babies put their toes in the mouths - but, i havent seen one chomping on an ankle!

Gillyx

meritaten wrote: »

Yeah Gilly - and that is why so many kids clamour to have 'sleepovers at Grandmas'! we all need some R&R - even kids!

I guess so, I just feel he's so little yet, and anything outta routine seems to send him a bit crazy. If I don't get him down for before 7, he'l be up wailing the house down for hours and even the next day will be so grizzly. Same if he doesn't wear his teething anklet. I don't think it's right that just because you don't agree with something you decide to do the opposite.

I don't agree with some of the things my MIL does with her youngest, but I don't go in and tell her so, like she does with me. I think the more she criticizes me and my OH, the less I want to leave baby with her. My OH can say stuff back to her, I don't feel I can because I feel like a cheeky cow.

Edit: the anklet is made of amber, amber has healing properties which is activated with heat from the skin. Claptrap it may be (MIL's words) but baby has been calmer with his teeth since wearing it and I know loads of people who have said the same.

meritaten

Dont get me wrong Gilly - If my DILs had painted the baby with woad and insisted on toe rings, I wouldnt have removed them! The parent has the last word on these matters...........but, at grandmas house the rules get 'relaxed' not broken! Thing is - you have to trust grandma with YOUR babies welfare - and - if you dont have that trust its your right not to entrust your baby to thier care.

Thanks for clearing that up about the anklet! I did post on a site about amber teething rings before - and I will say the same on here.
Do NOT be fooled into thinking that a large amount of amber will only cost about twenty or thirty quid. REAL amber is a very expensive commodity, and it is very easily faked.

Gillyx

meritaten wrote: »

Dont get me wrong Gilly - If my DILs had painted the baby with woad and insisted on toe rings, I wouldnt have removed them! The parent has the last word on these matters...........but, at grandmas house the rules get 'relaxed' not broken! Thing is - you have to trust grandma with YOUR babies welfare - and - if you dont have that trust its your right not to entrust your baby to thier care.

Thanks for clearing that up about the anklet! I did post on a site about amber teething rings before - and I will say the same on here.
Do NOT be fooled into thinking that a large amount of amber will only cost about twenty or thirty quid. REAL amber is a very expensive commodity, and it is very easily faked.

oh I agree, and I know it's not me being irrational, when my OH agrees. She's started telling me my sons "strange" because he cried once when she held him, he was having a bad teething day and just wanted his mum. He's normally really sociable and will be happy with anyone as long as he's on a lap being spoken to. I just wish she'd be a bit more reasonable about things, if she was then I'd happily let her have him. It'd give me and OH time for a nice meal out or the cinema or something. I'd happily leave him with his aunt, because I know she'd listen to what we do, not saying she'd follow it to the letter but at least be on the same page she's been away for a while, but she's back now, so hopefully she'd like to mind him for a little while.

meritaten

Then Gilly - you leave your baby with the people you TRUST! that is your right as a parent.