How much time does your baby spend with other people?

kj*daisy

I think her intention is probably nothing more sinister than she'd like a bit of time with her granddaughter while she's still a baby, and to give you a bit of break. Time soon flies and I expect your mum who has seen her own child grow up will be very aware of that and wanting to make the most of her time as a grandma. Maybe see if she'd have her so you and your DH get a little time together at weekends.

JC9297

Blue_Monkey wrote: »

Thank you I go by this the majority of the time, but mum's comment got me thinking. When she had DD for that whole day mum said to me "I have looked after babies before" and I felt like saying "Yes, but you've not looked after this baby before"....

What makes your baby so different to other babies that your (experienced) mother wouldn't be able to look after her? Presumably she managed to raise her own children well enough?

Andrea07money

I think its really up to you. You certainly aren't doing anything wrong. My daughter first went to stay with my parents for the evening when she was a month old. It was our first year anniversary so we went out for dinner. I am, however very close to my parents and my daughter had been around my parents regularly since she was born (but with me there). Since then my parents have had my baby to stay once every month or every other month (she is now 10 months). It gives myself and my husband time with eachother and has created an amazing bond between our daughter and my parents. I am a stay at home and look after my daughter at all other times so it is nice to have a little break once in a while.

Ultimately just do whatever you feel is right. This is what works for us but will obviously be different for others. I'm sure you will come to a happy medium. hth

lady1964

I think your Mum is both trying to be helpful and wants to spend some time with her grandchild as well, nothing wrong with either of those things. You get a break and your child bonds with someone she should become really close to & have a great relationship with as she grows.

We didn't leave our kids with our family for a couple of hours here & there because they all lived too far away, instead, we left them overnight if we had a night out, we'd drive around 120 (round trip if we were going out locally to our home) to drop the kids off and then they would bring them back (in-laws did that as they drove) or we would do the same round trip to my parents to pick them up as they don't drive. There were many times I wished we lived closer to our parents to save those long drives but we got a longer break, we knew our kids were perfectly safe and they all got an awful lot out of those overnight stays. I would say we did this from when the kids were 6 months + old. I would have loved to have had someone I could trust to have my kids for a couple of hours whilst I went to the hairdressers or the doctors.
Take up the offer OP and enjoy the break, you never know, you might even enjoy it!!

mummyroysof3

i dont like all this pressure to let other people look after the children all the time,nothing wrong with it if all are happy with the situation. i had children knowing that they were my responsibility 24/7 and dont need them looked after by others very often and i really dont see any reason for them to go elsewhere over night tbh

OP..do what you feel comftable with..you baby is young and there is plenty of time when they are older for spending with other people

quintwins

My kids are coming 6 and 3 i hate sending them to other people so i rarely do, my twins have lots of appointments so my mother in law will look after the other nd my youngest for an hr or 2 a week, possibly a few hrs if we go on a date but that happens maybe once every 3 months or so.

Now i am very aware that this isn't normal however i was very ill when my twins were born and spent the first 4 months of there life in hospital while they lived with my mother in law as hubby was a young new dad and didn't really know where to start, so i now feel i want them all to myself.

My mother in law says she's gonna set hubbys old room up for the kids to stay over at that point, after a few test runs i may let them stay over once a month or so.

i trust very few people with my kids, i know only to well that monsters are more likely to live in my street than under the bed, my own mother never has my kids over night never has and never will as she doesn't show enough interest in them normally anyway to know enough about them and they don't have a good enough bond for her to be able to settle them should they be upset in the night, this is her choice shown by her actions.

I do feel that you have to do what you feel happy with, you don't want to regret anything in years to come, that could be hiding your child away or sending them away to much, it's a fine line and us mummys love to beat ourselves up.

Gillybean103

I can't give any advice as I'm not due until August, however I'm not keen on leaving her with anyone other than OH. My mum thinks she will be babysitting all the time, but some of the things she has said makes me wonder what planet she is on. We have been saying how we like our dogs treated for 7 years and she still doesn't listen to us and thinks she knows best.

Gigglepig

We don't have kids yet but I know women who returned to full time work after 12 weeks... For example in the US, women don't necessarily get a generous time off work.

I also know some families who send their kids to stay with grandparents for a week or two during holidays from a really young age, they need the childcare and the children become more independent.

tayek1967

Not a single time .but my baby is happy, the coz, of another they spend there time. so, we obviously have the balance which we want. thanks

theoldcynic

I can understand where you're coming from. I think the use of the words in bold are rather unfortunate though, and would certainly make me feel a bit concerned and maybe a little put out (if i'm honest!).

Blue_Monkey wrote: »

But she also said that she thinks it will do me good to let someone else "manage" DD for a little while so I can "take a step back".

Maybe her saying, "look after" so you can "take a break" would have been better or as your OH said, so you can have some "time off". Less likely to make you feel like people want to take over or that you are a 'control freak'.

I'm not sure but you mentioned you are on maternity leave at the moment, so I am assuming you are going back to work and perhaps feel that your time at the moment with your DD is precious. I would feel exactly the same way in that situation and it is not IMO unacceptable to feel that way at all. Your baby is only a baby for a short time, and yours and your OH bond with her at the moment are the most important ones, there is plenty of time for others to develop theirs with her yet.

Also if your mum did not breastfeed herself, she may have little understanding of the breastfeeding relationship and may not be aware of or sympathetic to why it can be an off-putting "logistical nightmare" for you.

I don't know what to advise, except if you'd like to, to kindly say "thank you for the kind offer and concern mum, that's why I love you so much and rest assured when I need it I will take you up on it."