How much time does your baby spend with other people?

Lynn11

When we had our daughter 5yrs ago she was left with my mum overnight at 7 weeks and thereafter at least once a month she would go to gran & grandpa and the following month nana & papa so that we could go out as a couple. She loves her stayovers and always ask when these are happening. In December had my son and he has been babysat by my mum in our house for a few night outs but only a few weeks ago both daughter and son went to nana and papas for a stayover and it worked out. Im on maternity leave at the moment and will return to work in sept so son will go to nursery for the 3 days I work.

I know that my daughter just before 1yr was getting strange with my mum even though we go every monday to her house. Also my mum and dad had daughter at 9mths for a whole weekend so that me and hubbie could go to york to celebrate his 30th birthday

Hope you manage to find what is comfortable for you. DS will not be left at creche at church until he is used to nursery as I did this for DD.

SunnySusie

My 18 month old son goes to nursery so gets 4 days a week with other people.

Outside of that time he spends 100% of his time with us. Perhaps its because we both work and we are apart from him so much that when we are at home we spend all of our time together as a family. For better or worse we do everything together at weekends and time off.

We have only left him briefly with grandparents, and then only when we really had to.

Of course this is only whilst he is so ickle! xx

babymoo

My niece is 14 months old and she regularly, spends 2 days a week with either me or my parents. My brother is a part time father and due to his work pattern only has her on the weekends. The first time my mum had LO overnight I believe LO was 3 weeks old. She stays over with my mum once a month and mum will also have her all day once a fortnight. I have her all day once a week and my dad and stepmum have her all day once a fortnight.

I live with my mum so when either of us has LO we both get to spend time with her which is lovely and she's growing into a very independant, head strong little girl who doesn't get scared when mummy isn't there and is happy to spend time with her grandparents and auntie. I am in no way saying what you are doing is wrong, just pointing out that it won't do any harm and will probably do some good for your LO to establish a relationship with your mum.

I have to admit I was really shocked when my ex-SIL was happy to let mum have LO overnight so young but then it's done her no harm at all. She's a happy, healthy little girl with a good relationship with all her family. That is what matters.

pinkclouds

At 5 months old, my eldest spent zero time with other carers. My second child spent a few hours, here and there, with my mom because I had a lot of dental appointments. Both kids exclusively breastfed. Expressing is a major pain but sometimes it had to be done.

There is no "norm" that you must comply with! My parents took us everywhere with them so I've followed that pattern with my own kids. However, there's equally plenty of people who put their kids in daycare from a few weeks/months old. The only important thing is that baby is being well cared for, in a manner that you approve of. If all parents were the same, every response on this thread would be the same and there wouldn't be a gazillion differing "baby manuals".

bylromarha

Try to stop looking at her as grandma, and look at her as mum.

She's still YOUR mum, still wants the best for you, still loves you dearly and is offering a loving hand.

It's great she's offered, that she's not pressuring you to do it. She's not telling you you're scarring the baby for life by NOT letting her babysit. She's letting you do it your way, and put the ball in your court.

She's left it as your decision to do what you feel is right for your family...hope I can be that great a mum to my adult children.

You know your littlie best, and what I did with my 2, whether I breast or bottle fed, whether they napped well or not will have no bearing on what you decide to do. Just go with your decision and thank your mum for being such a great support.

Air_Cooled_75

My LO is 22 months and has been going to nursery 1 day a week for a couple of months now. Until then the most time he'd spent away from me or DH (only with grandparents) was a couple of hours (about twice). Family are an hour and a half away so not an option. He was breastfed until 18 months. When he was younger I'd only nip to the shops for half and hour when DH wasn't in work. We've moved on a bit since then

choccybuttons

Hi

Im on baby number two and he was breastfed. He was never left with anyone until he started weaning at 5 months as it just wasn't practical as he needed fed every 3 hours - I would have loved an afternoon off. My in-laws did babysit on a night time once ds2 was in bed and they gave him a bottle of expressed milk if we weren't back in time.

I also started leaving him in gym creche 3 mornings a week at 6 months to have some 'me' time as sometimes you can become all absorbed in being a mum that you forget your a women too and also to get him used to other people as my dh works away so he was with me ALL the time.

Why don't you let your mum have your wee one for a couple of hours one morning/afternoon a week or perhaps both of you go to a toddler group together once a week.

Talking to mine and dh's parents after ds1 they have both admitted they were desperate to have time with their new grand child and did feel a little left out.

masonsmum

My DS#2 just turned 1 last week and he has his first overnight with my parents when he was 3 weeks old, we had a wedding wouldnt normally have sent him away so early.

However both my boys have had overnights with grandparents and sister in law on regular occassions, we enjoy nights out with friends perhaps once a month and my youngest is not a good sleeper so SIL offers to take him just to let us get some time to ourselves and a good nights sleep.

I work 3/4 days a week so childcare is done through the family and I am glad that my boys go with no hassle, I have never experienced seperation anxiety and my oldest is a very confident outgoing little boy and I feel this has contributed by him spending time with other people. If you have the offer of help, take it xx

jumpingjackd

My DGS regularly stays here as both parents were working, he is such a happy outgoing wee boy and loves to get around. It gave my daughter a welcome break and of course we love to see him too. She doesnt trust anyone else to have him though, but he gets to see so many of his family on a regular basis, ie aunts and unclesetc.

My mother was a huge part in my own childrens lives and they had a great relationship with her and I always felt that they had someone "special" to go to and get spoiled and listened to if they felt the need. It did not detract from our relationship with the children, but probably enhanced it.

sooty&sweep

Hi

My two are 11 and 6 and I still feel uncomfortable going out and leaving them or them going somewhere without me as I worry as to what might happen if I'm not there. So I don't think you'll ever lose that feeling of wanting to keep them with you as only you can keep them safe and meet all their needs, or thats how I feel anyway.

But I do go out and leave them with grandparents and they do go and stay with grandparents and from a fairly early age. Its not been on a "once a month basis" or anything like that but fairly regularly.
My reasons for letting this happen are
a) as much as I love being with them and miss them when I'm not with them its nice to have some time away from them either with my husband or with friends.
b) My two also have a close and loving relationship with my parents and my MIL. They do lots of different things with them which we wouldn't do with them and so they enjoy spending time with their grandparents. Yes, they do get spoilt and get away with things I wouldn't let them but they also know that it grandma's house grandma's rules apply !
Some grandparents are of the view that the only reason they had children was so that they got grandchildren ! as they have more time, more money, more patience and more experience because they've been through it and parents and MIL certainly fit into that category ! Saying all that I have a good relationship with all the grandparents and I trust them totally if my relationship wasn't so good I would probably feel differently.

Jen