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grannyx2

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Aw Granny I'm so sad that things are carp for you & totally agree with Piq. You deserve better. Something physical like swimming or Zumba would lift your spirits and have the added effect of making you feel better about yourself as well as getting you put of the house. That would cost money though so the alternative could be to go out for a walk.

The accountancy sounds like a great option. Also, do you enter the competitions on the thread on this site? It would be something else to occupy your time online & you might end up with some prizes too!

Hope you feel better this morning & that you have a good day today Xx

Thank you my dear friend x I have had a better day today after talking a few things out with OH.

I'm going to look for something fun to do, it'll have to be cheap, preferably free but needs to involve human contact in non stressful situations.

Exercising in public is out at the moment, due to health problems, but there is no reason for my not doing it at home. I've lost the will to do anything lately, after my long spell of having a bad chest, and know that its made me feel even more glum. My wii is going to get the shock of its life tomorrow when I switch it on, I think its hibernating at the moment. :rotfl:

I need to decrease my online time I think, (I spend hours completing competitions, playing games and generally surfing the net) and also really need to widen my circle of offline friends as I'm feeling so lonely at the moment and don't seem to be able to find much enjoyment in life, as I said last night, I'm a bit of a sad moo at the moment. I spend hours upstairs in my room, like a moody teenager when OH is really getting me down and know that isn't good for me. However, I'm determined and I'll snap out of it, especially now that I've faced up to how down I'm really feeling.

I appreciate each and every one of you and don't know how I'd have coped without you to talk to. It's helped me see my own self worth too. In the past I would have tried to shop my way out of it.

So thank you for your support, it is fantastic and pretty humbling too. x :T

I'm going to bed with a smile of sorts on my face tonight, with Granny day tomorrow to look forward to.

Lots of love Granny x

grannyx2

"He doesn't care anymore.”

Trying to convince him of anything is like playing tug of war with a 100 ton truck!

I learned today that there is no more lonely state than being in a lonely marriage.

and that the loneliness you feel with another person, the wrong person, is the loneliest of all.

Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home on time is a very old human need.

So I decided it was time to tell him just how he was making me feel and sadly he hadn't even noticed.

He did however, promise to make more of an effort and for once, left the cans in the fridge, the sport off the tv, the computer on the table.

A very small change in general but a vast improvement in the atmosphere and for once the clouds lifted and the sun appeared to be coming out.

Night all

Gx2 x

chevalier

My OH doesn't realise either. I tried to talk to him about how I am feeling over here. I 'even' admitted that he was right, that we should have emigrated to Australia and not New Zealand. But after talking about a new start over there, that was it. HE has to be the one who does some of the sorting out, as only he can get a high paying computer job over there. I wouldn't know even how to look for a job in his line of work lol. So I have kinda given up again.

I am trying to the right school for my oldest DS and yet a small bit of me is just wishing we could come home. Even in the doldrums as the UK is at least I know how it works IYSWIM.

I am glad you were able to get through to your OH even if only a bit. I hope it is the start of a more positive time for you.
chev

grannyx2

Back to debt busting instead of relationship woes, although I've said before that I treat this diary as a real one and try to be honest about how I'm feeling.

After all the major reason for my debt is trying to make myself feel better with shopping and I find currently by posting on here instead I remember that it just doesn't help in the long run.

Not a NSD today as bought foldable shoes, £5 and nail stuff in an attempt to get them in a better state, £4.50, both for the wedding.

Went shopping with OH and offered to pay 50/50 but he kindly, (see my tantrum worked), offered to pay £30 and I paid for my toiletries only, £5.50. I jumped at the offer.

Gx2 x

grannyx2

chevalier wrote: »

My OH doesn't realise either. I tried to talk to him about how I am feeling over here. I 'even' admitted that he was right, that we should have emigrated to Australia and not New Zealand. But after talking about a new start over there, that was it. HE has to be the one who does some of the sorting out, as only he can get a high paying computer job over there. I wouldn't know even how to look for a job in his line of work lol. So I have kinda given up again.

I am trying to the right school for my oldest DS and yet a small bit of me is just wishing we could come home. Even in the doldrums as the UK is at least I know how it works IYSWIM.

I am glad you were able to get through to your OH even if only a bit. I hope it is the start of a more positive time for you.
chev

Oh Chev, it must be so hard to be so far away from home when you are feeling so low. As much as I would love to run away from things, I know that even moving to the other side of the world wouldn't help as I'd be taking me and my problems with me. Plus I couldn't bear to be parted from DS and DGDs, even if I do only see them once a week at the moment. I miss DD like crazy but even she couldn't make up for the pain being so far from them would cause.

How long have you been over there? I totally understand what you mean about the UK, it must be really hard to have to do all that with no real support network.

What is it with most men and their inability to sort things out? Why must we do all the thinking and organising? Oh to be with someone who took charge but in a positive not caveman, I'm the man, way.

I hope you find a good school for DS and that things improve soon.

Remember I'm always here if you need to talk.

Lots of love Granny x

grannyx2

Last post, honest, but couldn't resist:



Gx2 x

happy_but_skint

I hope he continues to listen and be nice x

never_too_old

grannyx2 wrote: »

Hello lovely, I am so sorry that you are having similar problems to me, it really is awful living this way isn't it.

The problem I have with OH is down to his laziness more than anything because he isn't as skint as I am. He refuses to be dragged into this mess because he sees it as mostly down to me. My lack of money is my problem not his?!?!

He is so stuck in his ways and doesn't seem to want to do anything more than slump on the sofa watching sport and grumping at anyone that gets in his way. He's even been known to complain because my knitting needles are clicking too loud :mad: :rotfl:

We are going on holiday in November and today he made the mistake of complaining because he's missing an autumn international game on the day we fly out. I have to admit, I blew a gasket at that today and told him what a boring old f^rt he was. :mad:

If I dared to suggest we couldn't do something because X Factor was on, he'd have enough to say and that's a few weeks a year, (I wouldn't anyway as that's what sky plus is for), sport is every blinking weekend and sometimes in the week as well and often more than one game a day.

He did listen to what I had to say today and after commenting on "well what fun do I have these days", to which I pointed out that this was of his making not mine, he agreed to be a bit more switched on to our relationship. This has resulted in no beer, sport or laptop today, bliss, and a little conversation, a small start in the right direction.

Let's hope things improve for a while at least as I am by nature a smiley friendly person, although I do feel blue in the winter because of SAD, and try very hard not to let things get me down. I don't want our relationship to fail but have spent the last couple of weeks sinking lower and lower into the glums and quite a few nights crying myself to sleep and then feeling annoyed with myself for that.

He's like a blinking caveman or petulant teenager to be honest and sometimes I just haven't got the energy to keep reminding him the right way to behave. When he's nice, he's lovely and we could have a really good relationship if he just tried. Anyway, as I said things have been better today, its just a pity that I had to drag him back to reality first.

Thanks again for the kind words, it really does mean a lot

Lots of love Granny x

It's Granny day tomorrow so I'm going to stock up on hugs and kisses and laughs and giggles for the week x

Big hug for Granny,havent caught up with rest of posts but it does seem lots of us are in the same position.My OH is the same when hes nice hes horrid when hes not hes horrid.When we entered our marriage we entered a partnership whats his is yours and vice versa so why should the money worries just be down to you thats just not fair..
speak again soon:)

Box_of_Fluffies

Hi granny, sorry I haven't been around this past few days. I'm also sorry to hear that things haven't all been going smoothly for you. To be honest, I've been feeling a little down in the dumps myself. I don't want to hijack your diary so will post an update on mine.

I hope your OH manages to stick to his new found ways. You'll have to give him a nudge at the first sign of him slipping.

Grand_Benders

I don't have this problem, thankfully, although I'm lucky that after a 'chat' way back about 8 years ago we agreed that if either of us was being a bit cranky, the other would just ask 'are you feeling a bit grumpy?' and this would make the other examine what was bother them.

This has been invaluable with one of us in peri-menopause and the other in full menopause! :rotfl: