When I try to be helpful, why is it never enough

POPPYOSCAR

Give some people and inch and they will take a mile!!!

Time_to_get_up_and_go_2-2

Did you manage to speak to them at the weekend Devilsadvocate1?

Just wondered if there was an update x

mrcow

Good luck with the fence. I'd get it done ASAP.

DevilsAdvocate1

We managed to speak to them on Monday evening. I said that I would remove the confiers (into pots) and gravel that he has put there and offered to pay. He insisted that he will do it as it is his gravel and confiers. He did not want any money.

I have arranged for a friend to alter the fence and put a gate in. He is coming a week on Saturday. This is going to use the funds that we had put aside to take the children to Holland for a week in the summer, so I'm not very happy.

My friend has said that if the conifers and gravel are still there then he will remove them for me. I am stealing up courage to speak to the neighbours again to let them know they have this deadline.

The neighbours brought up our extension and said that they don't want to fall out with us but the impression was they think we are being really unfair. I do think it might have been naievety on his part to plant the conifers. However, when my friend was pricing up the job last night he discovered that our drain has been covered over with gravel which he said should never be done. All this makes me realise just why that land is ours.

The neighbours are having building work done and yesterday I came home to find the workmen using my lawn for their equipment while the lawn of our neighbours was free from this. I think they assumed that part of the grass belonged to the neighbours as their bins are right next to our house still.

I feel really chewed up about this. I've never had problems with neighbours before.

Thanks everyone for all you support and advice.

sassyblue

Can't you get another quote for the gate? It shouldn't cost a holiday!

Look at the positives, they might feel hard done by but they are in the wrong..... At least you haven't fallen out you can discuss these things, think of it as teething problems. Once the gate is in that should be it?

Mojisola

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

We managed to speak to them on Monday evening. I said that I would remove the confiers (into pots) and gravel that he has put there and offered to pay. He insisted that he will do it as it is his gravel and confiers. He did not want any money.

I have arranged for a friend to alter the fence and put a gate in. He is coming a week on Saturday. This is going to use the funds that we had put aside to take the children to Holland for a week in the summer, so I'm not very happy.

My friend has said that if the conifers and gravel are still there then he will remove them for me. I am stealing up courage to speak to the neighbours again to let them know they have this deadline.

Put the deadline in writing and keep a copy. If they call the police and claim you're stealing them, it's much better to have something in writing.

Desperado99

I hope the gate has a good lock on it so it can't be accessed.

They really seem to be either naive or taking the pee. Hopefully once the fence is in, it will all die down.

Mrs.W_2

sassyblue wrote: »

Can't you get another quote for the gate? It shouldn't cost a holiday!

Look at the positives, they might feel hard done by but they are in the wrong..... At least you haven't fallen out you can discuss these things, think of it as teething problems. Once the gate is in that should be it?

Am so sorry you are feeling a bit rotten about the situation with your new neighbours. But you are about to resolve their overstepping the mark, and as Sassyblue pointed out, you are still talking to each other. Her's is excellent advise.

Are they aware the gate is going to be built? If not, I'd mention it, so they have a definite time frame in which to remove their conifers and gravel.

These people do not sound particularly friendly. I wouldn't bother with them after this situation is resolved. In the future, simple, polite hellos and nods might be the best form of interaction.

Wishing you well.

DevilsAdvocate1

sassyblue wrote: »

Can't you get another quote for the gate? It shouldn't cost a holiday!

Look at the positives, they might feel hard done by but they are in the wrong..... At least you haven't fallen out you can discuss these things, think of it as teething problems. Once the gate is in that should be it?

Its not just the gate, we're having the fence extended to cover this patch of land so that they can't put the bins there. Then DH decided we may as well replace the gate on the other side as it is old and broken. However, our odd job friend reckons he can fix it. The week away was just going to be a cheapie anyway, but can't do both unfortunately. Might take the children to Blackpool for a couple of nights instead.

tifnstav

I'd be telling the workmen to move their equipment onto the correct lawn and give the neighbours a written deadline to move their gravel/paving/trees NOW.

Mark it "Hand delivered" and hand deliver it! This would be evidence of your retraction of permission if needed later.

And I don't see what they have got to be upset about re the extension. Its built according to planning permission. Tough bananas. You don't owe them anything. Man up!