When I try to be helpful, why is it never enough

DevilsAdvocate1

We've had a bit of a saga with our next door neighbours since they moved in. I'm quite laid back and don't want any trouble. I'm quite happy just keeping myself to myself.

The next door neighbours moved in about 5 years ago. The female was horrified to discover that we have 3 boys. Her husband (G.) is much easier to get on with and we'll usually say hello and wave.

Our house is detached and about a year ago they asked if they could put their wheelie bins in front of the side return that we don't use. This is right next to their garden gate. I wasn't too happy about it, but they assured us that they'd put plant pots and a screen up to make it look nice as well as paving that small piece of land, which is technically ours.

My husband saw no harm in it and thought it might help relations, so we said yes. About 2 months ago they erected a wooden structure in front of the bins, right next to our bay window, which they have filled with old bits of wood and cardboard. I have no idea why they are collecting it. The cardboard could have been taken away ages ago by putting it in their blue wheelie bin. This structure is an eyesore. My friend jokingly asked if gypsies had moved into our house when she saw it. It looks likes it ours, as its on our front garden but to the side of the house.

On top of that my dad had said that he would be worried that if there was a fire, the presence of this wood right next to the house might invalidate our insurance. Then last night, my father in law said exactly the same thing.

Why do people have to push the boundaries all the time? I am not a confrontational person, so I'm having to psyche myself up. Will be knocking on their door as soon as my husband gets in from work. Just got to work out what to say so they are clear that it needs to be removed, but I want to remain on friendly terms if possible.

Any advice on what to say would be appreciated.

sassyblue

"Can you take the cardboard and its container away please, only it's invalidating our insurance being so close to the house? I don't mind wheelie bins there so much but the cardboard is the issue..... you can put it out with the recycling you know?"

I wouldn't worry too much DA1 as they'll want to remain on friendly terms with you to keep the wheelie bins there..... if they get arsey tell them to remove the wheelie bins aswell.

Why was she bothered you have 3 sons? They seem to be the ones with the problems.....

Keiko_summer

I would just say something along the lines of..

'I'm sorry to be a pain, but my Father in Law was worried and found out that having the structure right near my house like that actually invalidates my insurance so I'm going to need you to take it down over the next week or so'

If they say something like 'Oh we'll just have the bins there' just tell them you can't have anyone's bins etc on your 'land' as the policy you have is very specific... or something?

You need to make it a statement rather that ASKING them to move it, if you see what I mean?

Hope it works out!

FatVonD

Just say 'I know we agreed but with hindsight we'd rather you housed the wheelie bins elsewhere. I realise you've spent money on the wood/etc so, if you still have the bills, I'd be happy to compensate you for the cost.'

I was in a similar situation at a flat I once lived in with a shared drive which also doubled as the path to both flats. Our leases stated that nobody could park there but when the people upstairs got a new car they asked if they could park it on there so it was off the road. I kind of assumed it was a short term/until they got insurance thing but it wasn't. After a few weeks of skidding over the grass to the side of it (that had now become just mud) to walk round the car I said I'd changed my mind. They weren't happy but they had no choice but to move it and it soon blew over.

FatVonD

Keiko_summer wrote: »

I would just say something along the lines of..

'I'm sorry to be a pain, but my Father in Law was worried and found out that having the structure right near my house like that actually invalidates my insurance so I'm going to need you to take it down over the next week or so'

If they say something like 'Oh we'll just have the bins there' just tell them you can't have anyone's bins etc on your 'land' as the policy you have is very specific... or something?

You need to make it a statement rather that ASKING them to move it, if you see what I mean?

Hope it works out!

I like this but you could go one further and say you'd had a loss adjuster round re, for instance, damage from your leaky washing machine and that THEY pointed it out.

gingin_2

It sounds like you are never going to be best friends with them so I would think up a reasonable excuse, apologise and smile sweetly and ask them to stop using that area.

It's fine if it's a bit of give and take but it sounds very one sided on their behalf, so I wouldn't feel bad about it.

sassyblue

FatVonD wrote: »

Just say 'I know we agreed but with hindsight we'd rather you housed the wheelie bins elsewhere. I realise you've spent money on the wood/etc so, if you still have the bills, I'd be happy to compensate you for the cost.'

No..... no.... NO! They should have asked first, they're taking the p*ss putting up an eyesore.

FatVonD

sassyblue wrote: »

No..... no.... NO! They should have asked first, they're taking the p*ss putting up an eyesore.

Lol! But they agreed they would screen it. Am I being a pushover?

FatVonD

Eyesore or not I think you're on dodgy ground legally letting someone have use of your land. If it becomes a lengthy arrangement they might then start having rights to use that you'd have to declare if you sold your property.

Catti

Produce a rental agreement for their use of that part of your land!!

busiscoming2

I'd ask them to move the structure and paper etc as it is invalidating my insurance. I'd also tell them to move their bins onto their land. Don't you get squatters rights after 7 years?

Do they not have space on their land for their bins?