Couples Living Together

faerie~spangles

Nowadays who has control of the remote for the telly is immaterial to an extent.

When one of us wants to watch something the other really doesn't like then we use our lappy and headphones.

Though I do have issues with him singing whilst wearing his headphones:eek::mad::eek:

Person_one

CupOfChai wrote: »

We've also discussed finance, how we will split bills etc (having almost precisely equal incomes makes that part easier!).

Have a contingency plan!

Me and my ex earned pretty much the same when we first moved in, this masked a few issues that reared their ugly heads when I was made redundant. My redundancy and his resentment of having to use some of his income to support me (he actually suggested we commit benefit fraud to avoid it) was actually the main catalyst for me leaving.

So make sure you know what would happen in a worst case scenario if one of you is out of work for whatever reason.

jamespir

some of these posts are a tad sexist my advice would be to share and share alike and always rember one thing

when your right and hes wrong keep quiet when hes right and your wrong keep quiet when neithers right then argue the toss

jamespir

Bluemeanie wrote: »

I'll probably take a huge bollocking for this sexist post, but I found treating my husband like a child worked a treat. It was no good assuming there was pots to wash he will just do them, clothes to put away, he will just do it. Didn't work.

Now he has specific agreed responsibilities. Examples are - pots, emptying the household bins and put the bins out on bin day, maintenance of cars, DIY, food shopping from a specific list. He just had no initiative, so I decided to "manage" him!

were men we dont do cleaning we like to watch sport and drink beer its in our nature and we hate being bossed around by women

though i bet you dont like be told what to do all the time

VfM4meplse

jamespir wrote: »

some of these posts are a tad sexist

jamespir wrote: »

were men we dont do cleaning

Go figure!

sharrison778

I think setting expectations re cleaning and chores is a very big part of it.

In my relationship, I'm the one who likes to keep things clean whereas my boyfriend will put it off. Drives me crazy. So I explained to him that when I cook, he needs to clean up dishes etc that night, otherwise when I go to cook the next night, utensils I need are still dirty and I cant use the sink because its piled up with stuff. It was less about nagging him and more about showing why I was asking him to do it my way. Worked a treat.

My other tip is to try to relinquish control entirely to him in some areas. I think some woman (not all) can have some very definite ideas about how things should be done or where things should go and you have to remember that its now both your house, so you both should get a say.

gfplux

You will expect to be able to change him (slowly)
He will expect you never to change.

FBaby

I an surprised posters are focusing on chores there its a lot more to it making it work than that. I have found that the key thing its to accept that your partner might thin, feel and react differently to you and that might not mean your ways are right and his are wrong. It's about gaining trust in each other by listening and respecting and as had been said many compromises. By the way in my household my man us the one obsessed with the cleaning!

seven-day-weekend

Kimberley82 wrote: »

talk talk and talk

Agree with this, and if you can't reach an agreement on something, go with the person to whom the issue matters most.

Also remember that some things are not important, so it doesn't matter what decision you reach. If you can't make a decision on these, toss a coin!

NOTHING is worth arguing about.

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

I an surprised posters are focusing on chores

By the way in my household my man us the one obsessed with the cleaning!

I think the second sentence explains why you don't understand the focus. If you've ever lived with someone who does see/won't do what's necessary you'll know that it can break a relationship.