Help me get some perspective on this!

Mado

Given how things are now, instead of kicking yourself and moaning about how terrible the holiday will be, get a grip on yourself and start to see all there is to be enjoyed.

So it won't be your dream holiday, but it still is a holiday.
Maybe, negociate with your OH that you will take a day or two just on your own. Make sure the kids spend as much time as they can with the folks they wanted to stay with.

You sound so negative that it's hard to feel this isn't the end of the world. It's a holiday!!!:D

Caroline_a

I would lay down ground rules before you go. So... 'we'll meet up for dinner/supper/a drink at 7 and everyone can do their own thing the rest of the time'.

Then you won't be chasing round after them at all!

ska_lover

OP I have just read this thread with interest, and sounds like you have had a hard time of it lately as a family. I can totally understand why you feel upset you have lost some much needed 'alone time' with your hubby. Me and my Oh are going away for a few days together next week, and if for some reason we had to take my 19 year old lad with us, I would probably be dissapointed too - just because you are parents - you are still a couple.Every couple needs time alone - it is healthy.

Seems like this particular holiday needs to go ahead to save ur teens getting upset, so go with it - but you need to stick your foot down with relation to lagging round after his family every day of it. I couldn't think of anything more depressing and certainly doesn't sound like a fun holiday for you.

If you dont stick your foot down, you will feel highly resentful.

As it already seems people will be taking for granted that you will want to do things 24/7 as a family, you are going to have to ''get in there first'' with your hubby - speak to him before you go and tell him your conerns - you are his wife and you need time together as a family unit and as a couple....and whilst on holiday - a gently ''how do you fancy doing so and so, just me and you tommorow, babe?'' - but ''book'' it with him the night before, before any other family member gets to make your mind up for you. Be assertive - as it sounds like his family are used to you going along with whatever they want, so you are going to make it clear that things are different now.

As for the posts saying ''you should be looking after your own kids'' don't take this guilt tripping bollards seriously - Your kids are teens, if they are anything like mine, you will hardly see them on holiday anyway, they will be off exploring. Teenagers don't want to hang around with (what they see as) old codgers. Give um a mobile phone and a few quid, and tell them their bearings, and they will be reet.

Assert yourself, be confident. It is just as much your holiday as it is theirs!

You can always book a weekend away later in the year for you both.

We do it like that every year - we have a few days away as a couple, and then later in the summer, we have a few days away with DS and his lovely GF, best of both worlds really. Being in ajoining bedrooms - either in a caravan or chalet certainly does put a dampner on things though! You can hear the guy in the bed six caravans down turning over in the night hahaha! When we all go away together, we hardly see the teens, perhaps do one thing together as a day out as a family, but they go off on their own doing the romantic things that teens do like watching sunsets etc - and good luck to um

This year we fear, may well be the last one of our summer jaunts that DS wants to come on, as he is off to Uni in Sept, so having said all the above, do try and enjoy some holiday time with your kids, cos before long you will be like me, wondering how long it will be before they turn round and say it is just uncool to go on holiday with their mum

Kili

Thanks all. Had a good chat with OH last night about it all, he see's where I'm coming from fortunately and has agreed that we can do our own thing as well. As for the dog, he's suggested buying him a 'playpen' that we can section off part of the accommodation with so he is safe and has some freedom as well, this is a huge weight off my mind as well! He also pointed out that other family would most likely dogsit for a few hours while we went out for a meal

We have agreed to try and get a 'couple' break later in the year. One of our teens is 18 so can look after dog and house, the other will stay with his Nan so its probably not so difficult to arrange.

We have had 3 nightmare years with deaths, redundancies and illness which prevented us from doing a lot of the things we'd normally do. Added to this stress when OH found a new job its a very long way from home meaning he often doesn't get home until 8pm so by the time he's eaten dinner he's asleep. By the time the weekend comes we are trying to cram all the things we need to do into 2 days (car maintenance, garden etc) so again, we don't get much real time.
Its been stressful on us all really, the kids dont notice so much as they are off doing their thing, but I'm the one sat waiting for him to come home and I miss our time together. I guess I was looking forward to finally spending some time for us.

Either way I think we are all ready for a break.

Mado

Kili wrote: »

Thanks all. Had a good chat with OH last night about it all, he see's where I'm coming from fortunately and has agreed that we can do our own thing as well. As for the dog, he's suggested buying him a 'playpen' that we can section off part of the accommodation with so he is safe and has some freedom as well, this is a huge weight off my mind as well! He also pointed out that other family would most likely dogsit for a few hours while we went out for a meal


Either way I think we are all ready for a break.

Now, that's much better!:T

You may also be underestimating how much the kids have missed their dad too. They're not always great at showing this teenagers, but maybe it's a great opportunity for you all to do a few things as a family.
It won't be long until they don't want to go on holidays with you.:eek:

ska_lover

Brilliant Kili, looks like things will turn out OK. am glad your OH understands it all

moneypuddle

I cant understand how you DIDNT think your kids would be staying with you when you booked the same place. Yes i think youre being unreasonable

Lunar_Eclipse

Kili wrote: »

I just want some time for us! I'd just love a week where I don't have to please the rest of his family, where we can just get up and do our own thing.

So why are you going to the same place, and not taking advantage of the opportunity that has fallen into your lap to have separate holidays?

I feel for you, but can't help but think that this was easy to see coming. It sounds as if you have chosen to join this holiday. You mentioned nobody checking how you felt about the accommodation assumption; did you ask anyone if you could join the holiday group before booking your accommodation?