Help me get some perspective on this!

Kili

fluffnutter wrote: »

You have to take some responsibility for the fact that you're on holiday with your family! YOU chose to book the same place! How can you then moan that you'll be 'traipsing around following the rest of his family...'? Sorry, don't understand.

As I said earlier every holiday has involved his family. What tends to happen is we get to a place and all of them disappear in several directions, usually taking one or both of the kids with them before you get chance to speak.

So then the rest of the outing is spent trying to locate them, and the kids. Not so bad now the kids are older but when they were younger we'd often be worried sick because they and the family had vanished and we didn't know who was with who.

I think what annoys me (again probably irrationally) is if I mentioned taking my Mum on holiday he'd be less than impressed!

peachyprice

I can see why you are disappointed, but why on earth did you book to go to the same place as your children if you wanted alone time! I'd have made sure I was many, many miles away.

I can also see the POV of the family member, when it was booked it was going to be the only way your children were going to get a holiday, which was a very kind gesture. It's not unreasonable for them to assume that now you're coming along too that you might like your children with you, rather than with them. It probably hasn't even entered their head that you wanted 'alone time' as you've booked to go to the same place.

Sorry, but I think you have to take responsibility for ruining your own 'alone time' by tagging along to the same place

Kili wrote: »

As I said earlier every holiday has involved his family. What tends to happen is we get to a place and all of them disappear in several directions, usually taking one or both of the kids with them before you get chance to speak.

So then the rest of the outing is spent trying to locate them, and the kids. Not so bad now the kids are older but when they were younger we'd often be worried sick because they and the family had vanished and we didn't know who was with who.

I think what annoys me (again probably irrationally) is if I mentioned taking my Mum on holiday he'd be less than impressed!

But you CHOSE to book the same place. I don't get why you did that and are now moaning about it.

determined_new_ms

you don't need to spend all your time with your family members! Some but not all, that's normal isn't it? When we go away with oh's fam we spend some time together and some apart and that suits everyone!

Kili

Yep lesson learned believe me.

Just wanted to rant really, although I suspect if I said we were going to spend a week in a sewerage plant in the outer hebrides his family would want to come.

fluffnutter

Kili wrote: »

As I said earlier every holiday has involved his family. What tends to happen is we get to a place and all of them disappear in several directions, usually taking one or both of the kids with them before you get chance to speak.

So then the rest of the outing is spent trying to locate them, and the kids. Not so bad now the kids are older but when they were younger we'd often be worried sick because they and the family had vanished and we didn't know who was with who.

I think what annoys me (again probably irrationally) is if I mentioned taking my Mum on holiday he'd be less than impressed!

Aah, so it's about how his family behaves on holiday and that you don't feel your OH listens to you about what YOU want...?

That's a whole different ballgame....

Gigervamp

You say that every holiday, bar one that you've been on has included this other family and that you wanted some time alone with your OH and dog, so I really don't understand why you booked to go to the same place.

Your kids were happy to be having a holiday with the other family, so you could have gone somewhere completely different, and then this wouldn't be an issue.

Now that you're going to the same place, you can't expect the other family to look after your kids. You're going to be there, so you should be the ones to look after them.

fluffnutter

Did you book this place because you believed/knew/expected that that's what your OH wants? Would he have thought it strange if you'd booked somewhere else?

Sounds like you're stuck in a holiday rut whereby years of not saying anything have ended up with you being sidelined in favour of a big do with your inlaws when what you really want is something quite different.

Have you ever tried talking to your husband about this?

picnmix

Kili wrote: »

As I said earlier every holiday has involved his family. What tends to happen is we get to a place and all of them disappear in several directions, usually taking one or both of the kids with them before you get chance to speak.

So then the rest of the outing is spent trying to locate them, and the kids. Not so bad now the kids are older but when they were younger we'd often be worried sick because they and the family had vanished and we didn't know who was with who.

I think what annoys me (again probably irrationally) is if I mentioned taking my Mum on holiday he'd be less than impressed!

Here in your post lies the answer, the other family members disappear with your kids, you don't then spend the time tracking them down, you spend it getting jiggy

Kili

fluffnutter wrote: »

Did you book this place because you believed/knew/expected that that's what your OH wants? Would he have thought it strange if you'd booked somewhere else?

Sounds like you're stuck in a holiday rut whereby years of not saying anything have ended up with you being sidelined in favour of a big do with your inlaws when what you really want is something quite different.

Have you ever tried talking to your husband about this?

Probably so yes, he seems to assume we have to go with them and I'm just as guilty of going with the flow of it to keep the peace. The holiday we went alone was long haul, and even then he tried to persuade them to come and join us.

Probably stems from the fact that his family are quite close and even as a kid family holidays for him were just that, the whole family. Cousins, uncles, aunts etc. My family is small and I was used to just spending time with my parents.

Next time the situation arises I will have to say something, for my own sanity lol.

But can I just say thank you to you all for doing what I'd asked - helping me get a little perspective on it. It is my fault, I just stupidly assumed that the family member understood that although we'd booked the same place and intended to meet up occasionally I was seeing this as 'our time'.

Kili

picnmix wrote: »

Here in your post lies the answer, the other family members dissapear with your kids, you don't then spend the time tracking them down, you spend it getting jiggy

LMAO PLAN!!!!

Thinking about it logically they are old enough to wander around on their own now so I wont be as stressed as I have been in the past trying to locate them, added to that they have mobiles of their own now so will be contactable.