Help me get some perspective on this!

Person_one

Kili wrote: »

So then the rest of the outing is spent trying to locate them, and the kids. Not so bad now the kids are older but when they were younger we'd often be worried sick because they and the family had vanished and we didn't know who was with who.

Don't do any of that! If they disappear, there's your alone time!

They're teenagers, they're with family, they'll be fine so just say at the beginning of the day 'if we end up going off separately we'll see you back at the cottage at 5pm' an relax.

I think the way to go is to try and make the best of this holiday, don't go into it with a negative attitude because then you definitely won't enjoy it.

Maybe book a night away with your OH in a nice local hotel for later in the summer so you will have a little bit of alone time to look forward to.

Kili

Person_one wrote: »

Don't do any of that! If they disappear, there's your alone time!

They're teenagers, they're with family, they'll be fine so just say at the beginning of the day 'if we end up going off separately we'll see you back at the cottage at 5pm' an relax.

I think the way to go is to try and make the best of this holiday, don't go into it with a negative attitude because then you definitely won't enjoy it.

Maybe book a night away with your OH in a nice local hotel for later in the summer so you will have a little bit of alone time to look forward to.

Definitely. I think its about realising that they will do what they have always done because its normal to them. I just need to change my outlook on it and get on with it.

I do think I'll have to leave the dog at home though, might be one thing less to stress over anyway.

newcook

Why do you feel that you will be traipsing around after OH’s family? I’d still do my own thing and possibly meet up for one of the nights but I would view it as my/our holiday and will spend my time as I please!
Start learning now to say no so when its time for the holiday and they ask if you want to go here/there/everywhere etc you can say ‘no thanks, we’ve already got plans’ and give a little wink so they take the hint!

purple.sarah

It sounds like there has been a misunderstanding so try communicating with the other family members, explain how much your kids were looking forward to spending some time with them and that you and your husband were also hoping for a bit of alone time. Maybe they could go off and do activities or day trips together some of the time so you can have some couple time. Or maybe the kids could go off on their own some of the time since they "are teens and pretty much do their own thing now" and they understand why you want time together. Going on holiday with them doesn't mean you have to spend all of your time with them. However if you didn't want to spend any time with them going to the same place may have sent the wrong message!

rpc

Kili wrote: »

I know I'm probably being unreasonable but I am really angry that nobody thought to ask me. I really feel like cancelling (I used insurance on the accommodation) and booking somewhere else and letting them all crush into their accommodation.

I very much doubt the insurance will cover you cancelling because you decided not to go. Funeral, illness, etc might be covered but not "I don't fancy it any more".

Go, let them take the kids away and get your exercise during the day.

mildred1978

fluffnutter wrote: »

I don't understand why you booked the same place? When your circumstances changed and you decided on a break for you and your OH, what made you choose the same place that your family were also staying in?

This. ^^^^^

Agutka

I know where you're coming from with the family thing. Of course you CAN do your own thing, in theory. In practice it never works out that way. You do end up trying to keep up with everyone else.
Worst is getting in the car with my brother to do A. First he does a detour to do Z, X and Y, you don't mind do you, then A, then I forgot B, C, D, then I, J, K are on the way, and oooh have you not seen F, Q or T yet? And so, popping to shop to get a pint of milk turns into a three hour journey full of mysteries, where you have no control.
Same happens with the whole family on holidays. We tend to end up sticking together.

OP, I don't think you're overreacting, however it is done now, and you'll feel better after you get it sorted in your head. A holiday is still a holiday.

Slinky

Agutka wrote: »

I know where you're coming from with the family thing. Of course you CAN do your own thing, in theory. In practice it never works out that way. You do end up trying to keep up with everyone else.
Worst is getting in the car with my brother to do A. First he does a detour to do Z, X and Y, you don't mind do you, then A, then I forgot B, C, D, then I, J, K are on the way, and oooh have you not seen F, Q or T yet? And so, popping to shop to get a pint of milk turns into a three hour journey full of mysteries, where you have no control.
Same happens with the whole family on holidays. We tend to end up sticking together.

OP, I don't think you're overreacting, however it is done now, and you'll feel better after you get it sorted in your head. A holiday is still a holiday.

Not my idea of a holiday, think I'd be booking in with the dog!

Hope you get it sorted OP.

Candy53

I totally agree with you that you're entitled to have some time away from your kids, especially as they are now teenagers, and your mum obviously did, but if it was me I would have gone somewhere else to be alone, infact my DH would have insisted on it.

It sounds as though you both really needed some quality time together. Didn't your DH suggest another place?

Candy

ellay864

Any chance you can get away even if just for a weekend break some other time? If not just grab the time you can during this holiday. Your kids already apparently want to stay with the others so I'm sure they'll be happy to go with them in the daytime and you two can have some couple time.
I don't think cancellation would be an option through insurance if your reason for cancelling is finding out your kids will be with you. Illness etc is where that comes in