Help me get some perspective on this!

bluebird

when you stated you were given money by your mum so you could go implies you didnt have the money to go.
Teens will close doors if they know the reason you are asking, most teens wouldnt want any harm coming to their dog.

I have to say it sounds like you are making excuses for not going and appear unwilling to take any advice offered.

Kili

As I said the kids will be disappointed because they were looking forward to spending time with those family members, when they find they have been bumped out they will be upset as well.

Had I thought any of this was going to happen I'd have booked a week for just the four of us somewhere else away from the rest of the family. Like I said I feel railroaded into a situation that I don't want now.

I could have booked a large bungalow big enough for all of us to have some space so OH and I could have some alone time as well as family time where we could choose what we want to do. Now it will be a case of traipsing around following the rest of his family all week and spending day in day out waiting around while OH has to phone them to try and find out where they vanished to!

balletshoes

Whilst I can totally see why you're disappointed, and will have to change your plans for the dog, I think theres been a fair bit of assumption on both parts here.

To be honest, if the main objective of the break, once your teenagers had been asked to go on holiday with their relatives, was some alone time for the pair of you, I don't really understand why you would have booked accommodation in the same site as your relatives are going to?

I'm just thinking, if I'd done that, my relatives would assume it was because we wanted to be part of the group for the holiday.

Its done now, so plan to put your dog in kennels for the week so you don't have to worry about it straying, and go enjoy you break as best you can.

fluffnutter

Kili wrote: »

As I said the kids will be disappointed because they were looking forward to spending time with those family members, when they find they have been bumped out they will be upset as well.

Had I thought any of this was going to happen I'd have booked a week for just the four of us somewhere else away from the rest of the family. Like I said I feel railroaded into a situation that I don't want now.

I could have booked a large bungalow big enough for all of us to have some space so OH and I could have some alone time as well as family time where we could choose what we want to do. Now it will be a case of traipsing around following the rest of his family all week and spending day in day out waiting around while OH has to phone them to try and find out where they vanished to!

You have to take some responsibility for the fact that you're on holiday with your family! YOU chose to book the same place! How can you then moan that you'll be 'traipsing around following the rest of his family...'? Sorry, don't understand.

determined_new_ms

mrsgreentoad wrote: »

is this a joke.. you selfish women. tell your kids your not going caus they have to stay with you nice

that's quite strong!

ok op your kids are teenagers, and while they don't like to think of their parents having "alone time" they don't really get a choice in it do they? Having teenagers myself you just need to be opportunistic and grab every moment you can alone :rotfl: they're off playing football/going to the cinema/pool etc? Well whey hey lover the time is now!

I think your frustration is likely to be about the personal circumstances you have alluded to & that sounds like it has taken its toll. But you are going on holiday with a big group of family so enjoy it and the snatched momments you get. Believe me I know the struggle of trying to have a loving relationship with a partner and all that involves but it won't be long till they fly the nest and it sounds ike the demands on you will become easier from here on in x

Kili

I'm questioning myself as to why I booked the same place believe me, with the benefit of hindsight I should have booked the opposite end of the country, as it was family member told me the kids would be staying with them so we could book the same place and meet up for a drink at night while we did our own thing. They were very much aware we were seeing this as 'couple time'.

I know its probably not malicious, but it just feels like my planned quiet (ish) week is now a huge family holiday that I really wouldn't have signed up for.

Of course I'll go along with it, smile sweetly etc, but the situation wont arise again and I'll be making sure OH and I get a long weekend alone somewhere soon.

gingin_2

Have you actually discussed this with them? Maybe they don't realise how important it is to you ( or have I missed that?).

duchy

I think now others are invited there isn't that much you can do now except bite the bullet -Could maybe you and OH invent an excuse to come a little later and have say three days at home together before joining the family gathering for the rest of the week ?

picnmix

I have to agree with others that you have left yourself wide open to this situation. I don't think you can be upset with the other familiy members, it was very kind of them to offer to take your kids on hols, but as soon as you booked yourself on the same holiday you basically walked into it. If I were taking my nieces on hols and then their parents also booked to come along, I would assume that the kids would then stay with them in their accommodation.

If I had been in this situation I would have stayed at home with hubby for the week they were away, no worries about couple time, or prob with dog. I would have used some of the money to do nice things that week, then booked a short break with the kids with the rest.

I to can't quite understand if you wanted couple time, why you would book the same holiday as the rest of your family, even with the promise of "we'll have the kids and we can all meet up at night" I can't imagine that would have happened, your kids would have been in and out, family would still have been expecting you to sort out kids to a degree.

I think you may have learnt your lesson, in future if you want couple time, don't go on a holiday with your extended family.

balletshoes

Kili wrote: »

Now it will be a case of traipsing around following the rest of his family all week and spending day in day out waiting around while OH has to phone them to try and find out where they vanished to!

no it won't - don't you have a voice? If you don't want to go traipsing, don't go. Theres nothing wrong in going and doing your own thing on holiday. If you want to be up and out, just do it, tell the family in advance, meet up for lunch or dinner or an evening drink as extended family time, let the teens decide for themselves, if they want to, who they want to tag along with.