Friends hubby caught being 'overly friendly' with another women. Should I mention it?

Missli

"There's no smoke without fire" is rubbish. Its why gossip can be a nasty thing.

Perhaps there is more to it, but unless you follow their every movements, you have no way of knowing for sure. With firm evidence, a different matter.

poorly_scammo

spendingmad wrote: »

Yes - I think I might have a word with him.

No, no, no, no!

Please don't do this. YOU have seen nothing. If you had seen them with your own eyes then I might be advising you to take action but you haven't seen anything so keep schtum.

What if this bloke who has seen them is lying? What if he's a jealous man and wants to spread some rumours? You might end up looking very stupid and will probably lose your friends.

I'd hold fire and wait until you have real proof before saying anything.

BitterAndTwisted

"Mentioning" something that you have no evidence of with your own eyes would just make you a vicious and interfering rumour-monger. Even if you had witnessed anything yourself it would still be none of your damned business. Having close friends does not entitle you to interfere their private affairs. If you feel the need to get involved the only "mentioning" I would be doing is to the hubby so he know his card has been marked. Don't expect a warm reception if you actually do anything about the information you have received.

timberflake

Stay well out of it:

1. It's really none of your business, and speaking to him/his wife is only really satisfying your desire to drop him in it/spread the gossip etc.
2. You have no cast iron proof and are relying on someone else interpritation of events to potentially ruins this couples relationship. How would you feel if you said something and it turned out it was a complete fabrication?
3. No one likes a gossip. By saying something, all your doing is showing that you can't be trusted with sensitive information in future.
4. If he was doing something naughty in plain view, it won't be long before his wife catches him out so why not let him drop himself in it?

MandM90

I really, really hope if one of my close friends ever knew or suspected anything of the sort was going on s/he would tell me.

I could never forgive them if they didn't; I'd feel like such a fool.

If the woman was a close friend of mine, I'd tell her (and I actually think a 'man to man' is a good idea). Not that he was having an affair, but that there are rumours flying around. If the messenger gets shot, so be it.

I know others think you should mind your own business, but I'd be heartbroken if a friend kept something like that from me and everyone knew but me...even if they were just rumours.

shegirl

spendingmad wrote: »

the person who has seen them know the couple (from meeting them in our company) but are not friends, and does not know the 'other women' at all. Which is why the exact description of her is surprising.

My DH has suggested he has a 'man to man' telling him to either leave it or at the very least be more discrete.

Nice:eek: 'Hey mate,if you're gonna cheat on your wife be more discrete so you don't get caught':rotfl:

YoungBaker

It is quite clear the majority of people on here think you would be silly to say anything yet - as you clearly have no evidence and it is based around rumours and can potentially destroy your friendships.

If you chose to go and do so - so be it. I think it must be difficult to obviously keep quiet. I think if you were to say anything I personally would have a quiet word with his wife and just mention something more to do with the rumours or what she thinks of it or something but wouldnt even mention the whole bum patting thing unless she then comes out and thinks there is something going on and needs verification herself.

Slinky_Malinky

If he has suddenly started working very long hours and this is not usual for his job - and he has only been doing this since the other lady split from her partner and started sharing a lift with him -surely his own wife must have wondered if there is hanky panky going on? If there is an affair then the extra time is obviously spent sh*gging not working so therefore his paypacket will not be showing huge overtime payments. She would have to be very naive not to smell a rat.

I have to say, having been cheated on by a boyfriend many years ago when I was the last to know I have always said I would want someone to tell me. But in this case, with the long hours and rumours flying around I really think perhaps the wife should be asking questions. Maybe she is turning a blind eye hoping it fizzles out?

humantraffic

you shouldnt mention it....

It probalbly was innocent and whoever started the gossip saw it chance to liven their dull evening up in my experience or it was malcious,

If the friends hubby is playing away... it wont be long till its discovered by the wife as she will probalby suspect something is up.

Gra76

Don't involve yourself if you've only got 3rd hand information. You'll only end up ruining a friendship and causing trouble. Once you've seen it with your own eyes that's a different matter altogether, but until then I'd suggest you don't read anything into working late and car-sharing...