opinions please

chazall

DPJames wrote: »

Hold on. You're going on about your parents bringing you up well, and loving you, always having 'money', and that they would never put you in the situation that Lee's mam has.

But aren't they the ones chucking you out because they want more potential income from rent?

Yeah, they sound like lovely parents. Lee's mam might be a bit money foolish, but at least she's not chucking her children, and grandchild out. If I were Lee, I'd have another thread on here asking what to do about selfish in-laws making us homeless.

You didnt read this properly.... my parents are not chucking me out!!! They are moving so we need to move out as we cannot go with them because of location.... they are not renting there home out to anyone else nor asking for more money.. the £750 a month is renting privately else where.

My parents have been extremly good to us, we live here for £200 a month with a completly separate living accomadation. Lee used to pay his mum more at home on his own whilst paying the mortgage.

chazall

Acc72 wrote: »

Of course she confirmed this - because it is meaningless (a bit like me saying "if I had a million pounds in the bank I would buy you house" - because I don't have a million pounds in the bank, this is a very easy statement to make).

However, actions speak louder than words - and isn't it your parents who have facilitated this change in your circumstances by increasing your rent from £200 to £750 per month ?

Why are they doing this - and why now ? (especially as you say that your parents have done "extremely well" for themselves).

Also, it doesn't help that you keep referring to the fact that your MIL did not work - especially as you are in the same position.

You have got the wrong end of the stick, My parents are not increasing my rent the £750 a month is for private rent elsewhere, because they are moving.

i mearly stated that MIL has never worked in her whole life...
where as yes im a stay at home mum currently but i will return to work to improve family life... Big Difference. But this was never the point of this thread.

ognum

chazall wrote: »

Im not doing this for money nor am i doing this to ruin lifes. I may be young but have my head screwed on which is why i want to sort this out now.

Yes i fully understand the memories this house has but its got to a point where we cannot afford to do this just because of these things.I am not being horrid to MIL infact we both do alot for her.

You have chosen to ignore my main point, and I have a feeling this is what you do all the time.

You need to back off now, letbLee sort this out. Conversation and consideration from all parties is needed but this is an agreement he made with his parents when his Dad was alive. You are lucky to have both your parents so it's hard to understand how he feels about a commitment he made to his now dead Dad!

Let him sort it out and stop hassling!

spadoosh

Op, i completely disagree with everyone that your are selfish, stupid, yes, selfish no.

Your partner has so far invest £12000, on a house worth £140000 (if i remember rightly) So essentially he's sat on not far away from £75000 equity. you keep saying you want the best for your child etc etc yet thats, there 1st car + lessons, degree paid for and a deposit for their first house. Yet you want to not have that so your child can live in a house now?! Lets be honest, your not going to be made homeless really no matter what happens so struggle by (like the rest of us) and anyone in their early 20's for 5-10 years then sit pretty. You seem to have a massive beef over this when your partner has made a very shrewd investment thats likely to see over a 100% return yet because you dont have cash in hand your oblivious to it.

To the posts that suggest SAHM's should be involved in finances, im afraid this lady isnt one of them.

Op what your suggesting is like stopping paying into a pension because you cant afford new shoes.

Dont know your financial past or debt problems but does your partner realise how much credit he is sat on, worse comes to worse get a 10k loan over 10 years (remortgage, credit cards whatever) to get you through till she pops her cloggs.

Look everything isnt supposed to be easy and perfect when your 23 grow up and realise it and stop sacrificing your self respect over greed. Are you really hard done by? Do you really struggle to make ends meet? No not in the slightest, struggle by and look forward to what most hope for not expect.

spadoosh

Sorry to be mean/rude but honestly OP, might not feel like it now but you are onto a winner, that and your fella gets to do all the things that make people good people.

Listen to the age old saying of 'speculate to accumulate' you really would be daft to pull out on this one for the sake of short term gain over long term investment.

DPJames

Hi, my name is Lee.

Your story sounds very similar to my plight, but rather it's my partner's parents that are trying to make us homeless.

A few years back, my parents were in a bit of trouble financially, so we came to an agreement where they would sell their £140K house to me for just £70K. The money would pay off their debts, give them a good pot to live off, they get to see their days out in their own home, and at the end of it I'll have a tidy sum on my hands.

It's expensive to rent around here, and what with our lass refusing to go out to work, I'm the sole earner. So we've been living at her parent's place. It's got a separate guest flat, and they charge us £200 a month to stay there. You'd think it'd be free with us being family and that, but they're greedy so try to fleece us of the little I have left each month.

Anyway, the greedy, selfish !!!!ers are wanting to move away and have dropped us right in it. They knew our situation before deciding to move, but obviously don't care that they'll be making us homeless.

Our lass and her parents keep telling me to chuck my mam out and sell her house. But you can imagine what I say to that idea. They're living on another planet if they think I'm going to do that. My dad died not so long back, so there's even less chance of me asking mam to move out now.

As you can imagine, this causes endless arguments. I've been trying hard to save for our own place, but the missus just wants to spend it all on Sky TV and holidays. Her parents are moving and don't care that they'll be putting us in a terrible situation soon. They're all a bit snotty, so our lass wont entertain the idea of moving to my old estate (It's far too removed from where we are now).

So what should I do? I'm only 31, so 5 or 6 years of hard saving, plus a bit from our lass when she gets her fat !!!! back to work, and we'll have a huge deposit for our own mortgage. Then when the unmentionable happens, I can sell the family home and live really comfortably after that. But she wants everything now!! She's young and stupid, and wasn't really brought up very well.

I've told our chaz that I've had a massive pay rise too. But I haven't. It's just from all the overtime I've done recently to stay out of the house. She really busts my melon sometimes. Her and her greedy, selfish parents.

JimmyTheWig

Some of that was uncalled for DPJames. As has been mentioned, the OP is working as a full time mum. Don't make out that she's lazy.

chazall

DPJames wrote: »

Hi, my name is Lee.

Your story sounds very similar to my plight, but rather it's my partner's parents that are trying to make us homeless.

A few years back, my parents were in a bit of trouble financially, so we came to an agreement where they would sell their £140K house to me for just £70K. The money would pay off their debts, give them a good pot to live off, they get to see their days out in their own home, and at the end of it I'll have a tidy sum on my hands.

It's expensive to rent around here, and what with our lass refusing to go out to work, I'm the sole earner. So we've been living at her parent's place. It's got a separate guest flat, and they charge us £200 a month to stay there. You'd think it'd be free with us being family and that, but they're greedy so try to fleece us of the little I have left each month.

Anyway, the greedy, selfish !!!!ers are wanting to move away and have dropped us right in it. They knew our situation before deciding to move, but obviously don't care that they'll be making us homeless.

Our lass and her parents keep telling me to chuck my mam out and sell her house. But you can imagine what I say to that idea. They're living on another planet if they think I'm going to do that. My dad died not so long back, so there's even less chance of me asking mam to move out now.

As you can imagine, this causes endless arguments. I've been trying hard to save for our own place, but the missus just wants to spend it all on Sky TV and holidays. Her parents are moving and don't care that they'll be putting us in a terrible situation soon. They're all a bit snotty, so our lass wont entertain the idea of moving to my old estate (It's far too removed from where we are now).

So what should I do? I'm only 31, so 5 or 6 years of hard saving, plus a bit from our lass when she gets her fat !!!! back to work, and we'll have a huge deposit for our own mortgage. Then when the unmentionable happens, I can sell the family home and live really comfortably after that. But she wants everything now!! She's young and stupid, and wasn't really brought up very well.

I've told our chaz that I've had a massive pay rise too. But I haven't. It's just from all the overtime I've done recently to stay out of the house. She really busts my melon sometimes. Her and her greedy, selfish parents.

Wow it is similar, although people think im money grabbing and thats what i want, couldnt be further from the truth i just want our lifes to be the best they can now rather than (potentially) 20 yrs down the line, as this will make my lee 51. We all get on well but its so annoying knowing what we could be doing now. I am not even after the equilty, if she could use that to put her somewhere and we walk away with nothing now then i would be fine with that as it would free up that bit extra to allow us to get our mortgage rather than waste thousands (£90,000 in 10years) on renting. It has all got a bit petty on here and at home ie, sky packages, spending habits etc but thats only because we can't afford it so why should she.

Next paragraph aimed at all;

My best interests are my little girl, and as for securing her future with this Investment thats not somethink im worried about because i have my own in-heritance in the future and this will go to my children. Which is why although i can see others points in waiting, id would rather enjoy our lifes now.

chazall

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Some of that was uncalled for DPJames. As has been mentioned, the OP is working as a full time mum. Don't make out that she's lazy.

Thanks. I have to wait until september then my little girl will start nursery so that will free up 15hrs a week.

Its not like i dont contribute i juggle bringing lois up, and sell on ebay as much as possible. If i could afford to go back to work sooner i would of but childcare here is £800 month for
mon-fri 9-5, and after adding cost of fuel onto this it was pointless going back unless i secured a high paid job.

Thanks again though

JimmyTheWig

Ok, OP, here's a suggestion.

Lee's got what many consider to be a good investment. The chances are if many on here think it is then it is. You want to get rid of it.
Getting rid of something valuable shouldn't be that hard.

Would it be possible to now to to an equity release company? I don't know how this would work with the house not being in your MIL's name but I don't see why it shouldn't work in principle for the company to buy the house for the price of the current mortgage (*) with the condition that your MIL stays there as long as she lives.
Or could the other siblings buy into this investment? Maybe they could split it between them, or one or two of them may be happy to take it off your hands.

As long as it's kept in stone that your MIL can live there as long as she lives then I don't see it being a problem.


Now, I don't suggest you do this. If it were me I'd want to keep up the investment. But if you don't (and, obviously, if you can convince Lee that it is right for the three of you) then it should be easy to sort out.


(*) Obviously you may be able to get more than the value of the current mortgage, in which case Lee's investment has had some return.