Overheard cruel threats by neighbour to her child

emylou

We have new neighbours & for the past few days we've heard lots of shouting & crying coming from their home.

On Saturday morning the eldest girl (7-9 yrs old) was stood in the rain without a coat & the Mum screamed at her from inside something like "go to the police station then!" The girl just stood there, after about a minute she walked back towards the house & said "I don't know what to say/where it is" & she went inside. A minute later the girl was back outside with a coat on & she walked away from the house again. The Mum was stood at the door watching & then she shouted "I'll call them you !!!!!!"

This morning I have just witnessed the Mum shout at the eldest girl "I hate you!" & then hit her. Then a minute later "I hope you get knocked down by a bus today" and then when her daughter said anything to her later Mum replied "Do I want anything to do with you? Exactly."

The Mum always appears to talk like this in front of all 3 children (the youngest are prob 3 & 2 ish) but certain taunts are aimed at the eldest girl.

Obviously I know I could stay out of this but I am upset by what the children are hearing primarily. It's hard to ignore because I feel for them but as it's right on my doorstep it's hard not to hear & feel upset & worried for them.

Would you contact anyone? Social services? The police?

Should I call Social Services- would they check the children are ok? Maybe the Mum is under stress & needs help? Or should I not get involved?

Molly41

Yes without a shadow of a doubt and today!

keystone

Instead of calling someone why not talk to her? She's a new neighbour. Have you introduced yourself? Invite her in for a cuppa - anything I can do etc. People frequently unload their problems on a friendly stranger and once they are out in the open then you can gently intrduce the BTW I've noticed ....... bit.

Running to the police SS etc is not the answer IMHO.

HTH

Cheers

mumblub

I would ring ss and not give any details of her address but i would tell ss the problems and see what their opinion is...my heart breaks for the child tho imagine what her wee life has been like having a mother treating her this way...personally i would like to slap the mother

Taadaa

Goodness me, yes I would most definitely call SS - that child cannot possibly be happy and most likely will end up with emotional problems as a result of being treated like this. I vaguely recall that sometimes one or both parents can become fixated on one child and treat them really badly. If the mother is like this in public who knows what is happening behind closed doors?

shelley_crow

keystone wrote: »

Instead of calling someone why not talk to her? She's a new neighbour. Have you introduced yourself? Invite her in for a cuppa - anything I can do etc. People frequently unload their problems on a friendly stranger and once they are out in the open then you can gently intrduce the BTW I've noticed ....... bit.

Running to the police SS etc is not the answer IMHO.

HTH

Cheers

She's an adult, if she has problems then she should seek someone to talk to rather than being emotionally and physically abusive to a child. I wouldn't want to be drawn in and involve myself with the mothers problems, it could cause problems for the OP further down the line. If she needs support then social workers and family support workers are best placed to give it.

OP is doing the right thing by going to SS. As another poster said, if she treats her so badly in public, heaven knows what's going on behind closed doors.

funnythings

Recently i witnessed a child being abused by her mother long story but what i did was sent an e-mail to the NSPCC http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/are-you-worried-hub_wdh72939.html which i was advised.
very helpful. I know it is on your doorstep but something needs doing for this little girl. be her voice .

x

caringa

We had a similar situation with a next door neighbour many years ago and after much deliberation, decided to contact Social Services. We never had a problem after that.

Lucee

Report it!

The family obviously need some kind of support and I am sure you are only seeing a small part of the bigger picture. This little girl may be an absolute horror and Mum finds it difficult to cope (but how anyone can treat a child like that is beyond me, even when I'm pushed to my limit with one of mine I wouldn't dream of being that nasty) or the Mum might be having her own set of problems. Do you know what school the little girl goes to? sometimes a call to the school to explain that you have concerns is all they need to confirm/reaffirm concerns that they might already have and things can move a lot quicker when they are involved, it maybe that a teacher can speak to the little girl to see if anything is actually happening without the mother actually getting involved.


I don't think that much can be gained from speaking to the Mum, it might just make her more careful about concealing what actually goes on and the poor child may never receive any help she might need.

It might be nothing.....but what if it isn't?

It's a difficult situation for you to be in but I really don't think that not doing anything at all is an option.

L x

sassyblue

I'd report it and ask to remain CONFIDENTIAL and ANONYMOUS, there was a thread on here the other week where SS had dropped a neighbour in it after telling the woman who had contacted them!

I would also be supportive to the woman, she's obviously got her hands full with two toddlers and an older girl probably pestering her for attention - but if l heard her say the bit about being run over by a bus in direct company l would stick my oar in. That's out of order, no excuses! :mad:

heretolearn_2

Please report it, that's a wicked way to treat a child and it is abuse. Poor little things life must be a misery. Call SS and yes, tell them you want to remain anonymous (give them a false name/address if you have to) otherwise they can tell her who has complained, which I think is also shocking but there you go. Please don't leave those children unhelped because of that though.

SS can help her with support and parenting classes if it's just a case of someone who is coping badly. If it's just the tip of the iceberg and she is a deliberate abuser you could be saving those children's lives in the end.