❄❄ Let It Snow ❄❄ :: Christmas 2012 Chatter Thread

JJ.

That's really sad pinknfluffy28. With luck, they'll realise when they're older and not living with mom anymore, just how much dad and yourself have done for them over the years. Hard as it is for you all at this time of year especially, a touch of tough love might be in order.

Really hope things work out ok. x


Decided to zip into town again this afternoon. Brought a few more stocking fillers, and a couple more gifts. Found some Gingerbread man printed cellophane bags from P*undland for the mug gifts I've made. Going to do Snowman soup with them I think for my sis, and bil.

Right, have to dash out again now, as have to pick up ds from the train station.. Hope the rain's stopped, it was lashing it down earlier!:eek:

weeclick

pinknfluffy28 wrote: »

nic - so sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are with you (hugs)
thanks for all the support regarding sdd situation. up until a few months back the girls always wanted to come, it was their mother that was the constant obsticle. she had a baby with her latest partner in march, and since then, i think the girls feel theyre missing out by coming to us (and im pretty sure their mother will make it obvious to them that they will be missing out - she's that spiteful!). But the main problem we have is that they are both so materialistic, to be fair dh didnt help himself in the early years, as mother has always lived off benefits & "claimed" to not have any money, so dh & i always bought their clothes, paid for school trips & spoilt them best we could, and now, unfortunatly, thats all they want from us. Im just really pleased we havent raised our dd's that way, dont get me wrong, they never go without & do get spoilt silly at xmas, but they know the value of money, know its only cos mummy & daddy work so hard that we can afford nice things, and they are always happiest just having a family night in with a movie & popcorn. We have struggled through his ex / sdd's for 10 years now, and as hard as it is for me to say it, i really think its time for him to say enough is enough, come see is if you like, but come to spend time with us cos you aint getting anything other than our time & love (he pays a stupid ammount of maintanace each month so its not as if they need anymore money from us anyhow).
Sorry, long post but just got off phone to dh again & really fed up with how hurt/upset they keep making him/us.
On a lighter note...still looking for box ideas for advent, thinking maybe little snowman paper bag type things but cant find a template anywhere :rudolf:

Understand the situation completely my dad went through same thing many years ago but put his foot down quite early on when he realised they were taking him for a ride, he always left his door open but it had to be their choice to visit and not the other way round. One ended up being far better off out of our family circle and the other still keeps in touch which is nice 20 years on. I hope you can all sort through this, I know from being in the inside what it feels like especially seeing how hurt dad gets although they might never say it openly, I just hope it gets easier and they soon realise to appreciate the time they have because its the only thing they lose out on when hes gone!

Ruth_honey

On the coach going to Gloucester to see my family & driving through London is lovely. All festive with the lights & ice rink next to the V&A. Managed a quick pic of Harrods as we passed...(one year they lit it up green, which looked good-something to do with the Wizard of Oz?)

ReformedShopaholic

pinknfluffy28- so many times I have tried to write a reply to your post and last nights post. I kept just deleting it as I was worried about coming across too harsh especially from someone that doesn't have kids.
But I have to say I completely agree with you, this has to stop somewhere. Basically you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Stop with all the gifts and handouts and the mother will bad mouth you, carry on and you are just being taken for mugs and she'll still bad mouth you.
I do have some small insight on this kind of situation:
We never saw my dad for years and if we wanted anything my mum would always be "ring your dad and ask for the money" it was awful on us kids! His mum once said you only ring when you want money and I know both her and his dad blame us for this but believe me it was my mother pulling the strings. Her favourite line was that he doesn't care, even now and I am in my 30s!

We don't have a very good relationship now, he sends us gifts/money for birthdays etc. but to be honest I wish he didn't bother. I would much rather have a better relationship with him than some gift/money.

I'm sorry this doesn't offer any advice or help, but I had to reply cos my heart goes out to you and your o/h. Its a crappy situation xx
P.s sorry this is so long

PRINCESSX87

ReformedShopaholic wrote: »

pinknfluffy28- so many times I have tried to write a reply to your post and last nights post. I kept just deleting it as I was worried about coming across too harsh especially from someone that doesn't have kids.
But I have to say I completely agree with you, this has to stop somewhere. Basically you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Stop with all the gifts and handouts and the mother will bad mouth you, carry on and you are just being taken for mugs and she'll still bad mouth you.
I do have some small insight on this kind of situation:
We never saw my dad for years and if we wanted anything my mum would always be "ring your dad and ask for the money" it was awful on us kids! His mum once said you only ring when you want money and I know both her and his dad blame us for this but believe me it was my mother pulling the strings. Her favourite line was that he doesn't care, even now and I am in my 30s!

We don't have a very good relationship now, he sends us gifts/money for birthdays etc. but to be honest I wish he didn't bother. I would much rather have a better relationship with him than some gift/money.

I'm sorry this doesn't offer any advice or help, but I had to reply cos my heart goes out to you and your o/h. Its a crappy situation xx
P.s sorry this is so long

Sadly i heard this line " In red" far too often also! Still hear it now & im 25!!

jen49

pinknfluffy28 wrote: »

On a lighter note...still looking for box ideas for advent, thinking maybe little snowman paper bag type things but cant find a template anywhere :rudolf:

have you looked on here http://allsorts.typepad.com/allsorts/ if you scroll down there's an advent pocket garland thing made one earlier this week and its very long beu pretty

HTH

ReformedShopaholic

Don't think it has been mentioned but on the email from Lidl it says about a free advent calendar this weekend. Think you click like on their facebook page and then download a voucher to take in?

Sorry this is a bit random and not much info but I don't have a facebook so as soon as I see that its something to do with that I delete.

jeningers

Thank you all for your v kind words. Feeling a lot better today eveything getting back to normal (even going togo to gym at weekend!! Its been afew weeks!)

Nic soso sorry to hear your sad news. Thoughts are with you at this v difficult time. We lost our nana last year less than a week befroe Christmas so I know how difficult it is to lose anyone espeially atthis time of year.

FeistyFidget

So after spending all evening designing my Christmas tags, my digital cutter blade has gone blunt

Pages of A3 card wasted and nothing to show I am not having a very good crafting time of it at the moment.

meme30

Nic:- I so sorry for your loss, I hope you can celebrate her life tomorrow in the way you want to.:grouphug: