❄❄ Let It Snow ❄❄ :: Christmas 2012 Chatter Thread

Crowdpleaser

Me and the girls are off to my mums in devon for christmas, dh will possibly come depending on how he is feeling, working xmas eve and box day will mean 200 miles there on xmas eve and 200 miles back xmas night! Anyway, whichever way, i thought it would be nice for me and Mum to do something. When I was a lot younger, mum used to work during the holidays and so used to leace me with nan and grandad, who I adore and are still about and in fact live in the house backing onto my mums. Anyway, she used to buy me jigsaws to do sat at Nans breakfast bar...

So i looked on ebay and bid on and got a christmas one for us to do in the evenings running up to christmas once the kiddles are in bed. I hope it will be lovely Mum/daughter memory bonding time for us over a glass of vino!

Mind you if we dont get the bu**er finished by xmas day Ill be really hacked off!!!!

What do you think???

xxx

pinknfluffy28

onriebaby wrote: »

I totally unerstand what you mean about making it fair. I go by how may pressies each has got rather than total money spent but if me getting something means one child has more than the other child then the other child will get another pressie too. As said above, if you have the money and can do it (get them all something else) then fine, but if you cant and you will be burrowing money etc you shouldnt have to put yourself in that situation and I wouldnt especially as you have been so orgaised to be done already. If the Mum is at all reasonable, I would discuss this with her and let her know as I dont think its right for her to say your oh is going to get it without discussing first. And I also understand what your oh is saying too - after all its not the childs fault the Mum is so inconsiderate. HTH xx

were lucky enough to both have good jobs, so we could afford it, but it would go against my "bargain buying" philosophy!

katy1987

pinknfluffy28 wrote: »

unfortunatly their mother is far from approachable, this is typical "her", and if last years anything to go by she wont even let the kids come over xmas anyways!

oh poor you. my mum's partner's ex (bit long winded!) is cut from the same cloth, only at least her kids can see what a cowbag she can be!

erm... what about the daughter- she's 15- would she understand if her dad explained that they had already put lots of thought into her presents and bought some already? are any of the presents returnable maybe?

scraping the barrel for ideas sorry!

Firsttimemum_2

pinknfluffy28 wrote: »

I have a bit of a dilema, its quite complicated but I would be grateful for some advice. I have two daughters 12 & very nearly 5, and 2 step daughters 15 & 11 (my eldest is from my previous relationship). My dh came back from picking step-d's up last nite & announced their mother has promised eldest her dad would get her a new tv/dvd combi for xmas. She hadnt spoke to him about it first, and although dh is very angry at her, he doesnt want to dissapoint child. However, we have already got ALL their presents! as a rule, the step-daughters get half budget of what the 2 at home get (on account of ours being their second xmas etc). Now a tv/dvd combo is gonna be at least £100, so is it wong of me to now get a few extra bits for the other 3, obviously im talking £20 0r £30 each, not £100! dh says theres no need, but i feel as though they should all be treated the same, if we have to go over budget for 1, we do it for all. The cost isnt really an issue, its more from a moral and fair-parenting point. Sorry to ramble on, and i know it might seem silly, but im getting myself in a right state over this, and dh, being male, just doesnt seem to get it!

Are there any of the presents you already have for her that are suitable for her birthday or for someone else to save buying extra to make it fair take some away to make it fair, very MSE

Crowdpleaser

pinknfluffy28 wrote: »

unfortunatly not, for her bday we got her the nikon camara her mother told dh she wanted, only for her to open it and announce her mum had brought her one!

Oh rubbish!!

In all honesty, I would let the Mum dig herself out of it....

meanie me, sorry, maybe give a small contribution to it, £20 odd and say that is all you can contribute as you have already finished and you would appreciate in future if she would talk to you first!!!

I have no idea in all honesty....

katy1987

pinknfluffy28 wrote: »

unfortunatly not, for her bday we got her the nikon camara her mother told dh she wanted, only for her to open it and announce her mum had brought her one!

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

pinknfluffy28

katy1987 wrote: »

oh poor you. my mum's partner's ex (bit long winded!) is cut from the same cloth, only at least her kids can see what a cowbag she can be!

erm... what about the daughter- she's 15- would she understand if her dad explained that they had already put lots of thought into her presents and bought some already? are any of the presents returnable maybe?

scraping the barrel for ideas sorry!

i hadnt even thought of actually explaining it to her! we usually try to keep them out of these kind of issues as we know how much greif their mother gives them every time theyve been to ours anyway. but i might have a chat with dh once he's home, maybe its time we did involve her. shes a really good kid, so loving towards us all and so grateful for even the smallest things so maybe explaining to her would do us all good! thankyou x

pinknfluffy28

Firsttimemum wrote: »

Are there any of the presents you already have for her that are suitable for her birthday or for someone else to save buying extra to make it fair take some away to make it fair, very MSE

that could work, i know my parents and dh dad struggle with ideas for her, maybe if we all chipped in a little bit she could have the tv, and i could keep a few other bits back for her bday or next xmas, oooh i feel the cogs turning...

onriebaby

pinknfluffy28 wrote: »

were lucky enough to both have good jobs, so we could afford it, but it would go against my "bargain buying" philosophy!

So tricky. Could you take any of her pressies back to stores for a reund and hence using the funds that you had already allocated her? Or possible ebay them?

Personally, I dont think I would, judging by what you said the mother just seems like she tries to be difficult and I wouldnt stress myself by going to such lengths especially after you thought you were done and dusted.

I would even go as far to say that having a tv is something that most would provide a teenage child with anyway; surely the mums just trying to shirt her responability by getting your oh to get it. Im not sayng its a right or anything dont get me wrong but I dot think its somethig I would get my kids for Xmas. Feel free to bite my head off ladies

Crowdpleaser

pinknfluffy28 wrote: »

i hadnt even thought of actually explaining it to her! we usually try to keep them out of these kind of issues as we know how much greif their mother gives them every time theyve been to ours anyway. but i might have a chat with dh once he's home, maybe its time we did involve her. shes a really good kid, so loving towards us all and so grateful for even the smallest things so maybe explaining to her would do us all good! thankyou x

I would definetly do this!!! Maybe explain that if its what she would really like next year or for next birthday, youll happily put in for it

or..

that if she would still really like it, youd be happy to pay her for some chores to save up for it? Babysitting? Make the tea for the kids? Wash the car? Run hovver round?

Sorry maybe silly ideas....