income support nightmare !!!!!

FBaby

cvm1978 wrote: »

we do do a lot of things together- we go shopping, he spends alot of time here not just to be with me, but to see his daughter. yes we do eat together. no he doesnt have any belongings at my property. there are no financial links apart from him giving me child maintentance for our daughter every month. i just find it odd that staff on the phones at income support give very different rulings - if anyone should know it should be them surely?!?!?

So what makes the difference that when you are living under the same roof, you argue all the time, but if you live separately, yet still spending a lot of time together, all is well??? Could it be because you are much better off financially this way and that's what reduces the stress and therefore arguements?

princessdon

Interesting thread

Let's flip this to the otherside for the "Ex with benefits" not my legal partner.

My OH can't find work in our area - so he works over 400 miles away. He has a 2nd home (needs to for work). He is my soul mate, my rock, he is my partner!

Now what if I said - ya know what I'd get approx £1200 a month in benefits if he wasn't my partner so I'll claim? Would that be wrong - of course it would!! Not even for financial / benefit reasons but because it would undermine what we have.

Anyone who thinks that just because their OH doesn't live at their house full time is bonkers, there are many many families who don't have the luxury of having their partner at home (many are forced to work overseas in this recession), but most of us have too much respect for ourselves, our children, our partners and the hardworking tax payers to abuse the fact that we can prove bills go to another address.

End of the day - You say he is your partner - this you acknowledge and if they are your partner, then regardless of where they sleep most nights they are just that your partner!

Rant over - anyone help me down of this soapbox, because it's rather high. Sorry but this is a pet peeve

Shelldean

I had 3 boys with my partner, twins then 3 yrs later the youngest.
However due to really really bad PND, things went rapidly downhill after the youngest was born. I was in a bad place, and lashed out verbally etc at him. He therefore moved out, but still supported me with his 3 sons, as well as my child from a previous relationship.

He visited often and sometimes stayed the night, sleeping in the boys room.
I fed him and he took me shopping, as he drove and I didn't meaning the use of the car made shopping with four kids so much easier.
He also took the kids at the wkends to give me a break.

My depression and PND was recorded by health visitor and Gp. And I was receiving help, in the form of medication, toddler group and counselling.
He was on the electrol roll at his mums and all his post was sent there.

We was definately NOT a couple.

I was claiming benefits, and the kind neighbours thought it was best to inform DWP that he was here often.

We was investigated and due to the fact he was eating here and shopping with me indicated to them that we were indeed a couple. Therefore we were treated as couple for benefit calculations.
My Income support, housing benefit and council tax benefits were stopped straight away.
Lord if I was in a bad place before this happened I was in a worse one now!!!!
Although they stopped my benefits with immediate effect they didn't ask for anything back??
With NO income and no cash for my rent, He had no choice but to move back in. we then applied as couple for what is now tax credit (had different name back then)

Things weren't great for a while, but things did improve we sorted ourselves out and we've now a happily married couple!!!!!

Being reported (even tho it was malicious and untrue) was the incentive we needed to sort ourselves out.

FBaby

Shelldean wrote: »

With NO income and no cash for my rent, He had no choice but to move back in. we then applied as couple for what is now tax credit (had different name back then)

Things weren't great for a while, but things did improve we sorted ourselves out and we've now a happily married couple!!!!!

Being reported (even tho it was malicious and untrue) was the incentive we needed to sort ourselves out.

This sums the situation highlighted here perfectly.

Shelldean

FBaby wrote: »

This sums the situation highlighted here perfectly.

I have add tho, this wasn't an over night fix. Took about 2 years for things to really be sorted. Was a lot of resentment at time when we felt like we was being forced to be a couple, when all we did was argue. But we're now 12 years down the line and things still aren't always great but we muddle along.

mum2one

have you been given a date yet for the hearing?

The thing is thou I think after a certain age, you don't necessary call someone your boyfriend, of you have been together for a while i would call them partner, it sounds like someome has seen the both of you together and thats how its all goes this far.

At least you have a soliciotr on board, I would say go through bank statments etc, to show you paid the bills etc

HappyMJ

mum2one wrote: »

have you been given a date yet for the hearing?

The thing is thou I think after a certain age, you don't necessary call someone your boyfriend, of you have been together for a while i would call them partner, it sounds like someome has seen the both of you together and thats how its all goes this far.

At least you have a soliciotr on board, I would say go through bank statments etc, to show you paid the bills etc

Can you or the DWP define the words "a while" in months or years?

shegirl

kaya64 wrote: »

Whys should he support her when they are not together ?
Support the child yes ,but she isn't his responsibility when they have split .

Because they are together!they are in a relationship but not living together!They have not split he just moved out as living together wasn't going to well.Why do you think he stays over!!!

jizzler

what it all boils down too really is WHOOO one scrounger caught ( only about another 500,000 to go ).

Queries

Dear cvm1978, please contact your local CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau) for advice. I wish you well, and please ignore the negative responses you have had here. The very best of luck for the future!